Freak Week II: Mongolian Horse.

Of all the mammals in the world, the horse gets the least amount of love on this blog. It's not that I don't like horses; like all females, I went through a horse/pony phase, got a lot of horse books, and even took riding lessons.

This blog has nothing against horses. They just aren't very weird.

Sure, they're beautiful, graceful, powerful, and whatever else have you, but horses are only really weird if you have never seen a domesticated horse before in your life. A real horse person may talk on and on about the differences between an Arabian and a Palomino, but that's still not particularly weird. Cool, but not strange unless you want to get into subtleties.


Racehorses have a lot of inbreeding going on, though.

To make horses weird, one has to go way back. The horse was probably first domesticated in Mongolia. Let's try there.

 

The Mongolians love their horses. The horse population in Mongolia is around three million - more than the entire human population. The national drink, airag, is made of mare's milk. Each family member has his or her own horse. Young men are traditionally given a horse upon their third birthday. Even the nomadic tribes have horses. An old Mongolian proverb says that "a Mongol without a horse is like a bird without wings." Horse lovers, start packing; Mongolia is horse country.



The Mongolian breed of horse is a right bitch to find pictures of, if only because Mongolia also has wild horses. The two are hard to tell apart; not very much has changed in Mongolia since the horse became domesticated. This similarity plus genetic diversity makes them a strong candidate for the first horse breed ever.

Mongolian horses are sturdy. Very few of them need to wear shoes. Even so, they tread cautiously. Once they get used to having a rider, they are calm horses and can run up to 35km/h. Racing horses is the second most popular sport in Mongolia; given the creature's popularity, it is very easy to see why.

 

The horse was the primary weapon of the Mongolian Empire. Fighters with horses had a substantial advantage over people without: horsemen were faster, could trample opposition, and could shoot arrows on horseback. It was thanks to the horse that Genghis Khan was able to take over much of the known world. As the great Khan himself said, "It is easy to conquer the world from the back of a horse."



KHAAAN!

Tomorrow: These are some VERY horny cattle.

Freak Week II: Scottish Folds and American Curls.

Notice something a little bit...off...about that adorable little kitten?



OH MY GOODNESS, A CATGIRL STOLE ITS EARS!



Actually, no kittens were harmed in making catgirls. The cat above is of a special 'breed' called a Scottish Fold. As the name implies, the ears on Scottish Fold kittens have the cartilage folded downward. This gives them a round-headed look that has been described as "owlish."


O rly?

The Scottish Fold breed started with one cat, Suzie, who lived on a farm near Perthshire, Scotland. When she had kittens, two of them were born with folded ears like their mother. One of the kittens was taken in by a nearby cat-fancier, and the breed developed from there. Ear-folding is dominant, so the trait was easy to pass on to many varieties of cat. Thus the breed was born.

Before you ask: Yes, all Scottish Folds are directly related to Suzie. They are not necessarily inbred (responsible breeders encourage outcrossing), but have an amazing amount of issues from the one trait of folded ears. Even well-bred kittens develop osteochondrodysplasia - or, in English, bone problems. This can include anything from malformed bones at birth to severe arthritis in later years. These issues are so common with Scottish Folds that one vet discouraged breeding them entirely; they are also not recognized by European fanciers as a breed.



Of course, a breed needs more than one trait to be considered a breed. As in canids, cats with folded ears tend to have amicable personalities. Folds are very communicative cats; they also sleep on their backs and sit in "Buddha Position." Aww, they think they're people!

A DS is not included with Scottish Fold cats. Sorry.

If folded ears are not your thing, the American Curl has the exact opposite mutation of the Scottish Fold: A Curl's ears curl upward for an expression of eternal surprise. Pet Curls can have the ears curling almost straight upward; show-quality curls demand a definite curl, but not so much that the ears touch the skull. Both longhair and shorthair Curls have very silky coats. If you like your cats a little bit odd but still with hair, the ears have it.

Not to be confused with the American Girl franchise.

Tomorrow: We swear, this was the weirdest horse we could find...

Freak Week II: Bully Whippets.

Pop quiz: What is wrong with this dog?
A) OMG THAT PICTURE IS SOOO FAKE!
B) It's an experiment by the EVUL COMMUNIST RUSSIANS! We're SCREWED!
C) One gene.

Sorry, this picture has been sent around the interwebs so frequently as a "real or fake?" or Russian conspiracy fodder that it merited a short quiz. Beneath all this internet BS is a normal whippet with only one gene awry. As you can see, Wendy is a perfectly content Boston family pet underneath all that muscle:



Not all whippets are as muscular as Wendy. Whippets are a sort of mini greyhound bred for one thing: speed. They can run up to 36 mph and have a winning demeanor. As dog breeds go, whippets are relatively problem-free; at most, they have some "athletic" heart diseases, but otherwise lead average dog lives.


Normal whippet.

Super-muscular whippets like Wendy are called "bully whippets." This says nothing about their personalities, just their bizarre build. The gene for extra-fast whippets is the heterozygous form of the gene that omits myostatin in dogs. Having two of the same omission allele together leads to double-muscling, creating the same beefy look found in Belgian Blue cattle (from last Freak Week). Seriously - it's the exact same mutation, just in a dog instead of a cow.

Hey, Korea...

 

Imagine crossing a bully whippet with a Chinese Crested, Xoloitzquintle, or Peruvian Inca Orchid. If the resulting image made you wet your pants in a combination of fear, WTF, and awesome, our work here is done.

Tomorrow: Hello kitty...with straaange ears.

Freak Week II: Great Danes.

First of all...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LADY GAGA! 

Seriously, Monster Monster, you have inspired me SO much, especially recently. Without you, my life would not even have direction. Freak Week is for you. A whole fantasy universe is for you. The one thing I will not do for you is get a Facebook. If you see this, let me know. Happy birthday!

That said, it seems like not many people have noticed the two Harlequin Great Danes appearing in several of Lady Gaga's videos. Prior to "Born This Way," almost all of Gaga's videos (with the exceptions of "Alejandro," "Just Dance," and "Beautiful, Dirty, Rich") had at least one Great Dane somewhere. Their names were Lava and Rumpus; Rumpus died in October of 2009. They are not technically Gaga's dogs and truly belong to this California breeder. Lava and Rumpus were most obvious in the videos for "Poker Face" and "Telephone" (in which Lava unfortunately gets poisoned along with the rest of the diner).

Fame: It lets one kill puppies and still be A-OK.

Lady Gaga has since changed her mascot to a unicorn. Nothing wrong with that; it's just harder to write an entry on (although the okapi and narwhal entries have some things to say about unicorns). Animals in show business are so underrated, especially when they're odd like Danes. 

Great Danes are an excellent example of exactly how versatile the canine genome is. At first glance, one would never expect that a Great Dane and a Chihuahua could be the same species; it was just luck of the draw that dogs were so versatile. There are an endless amount of mutations to play with in Canis lupus familiaris that took millennia of breeding to flesh out. One of those was, of course, for size.



Great Danes are big. The longest on record is 7.2 feet from head to tail and 3.5 feet (slightly over a meter) at the withers (shoulder height). These dimensions do not really convey how big Great Danes are. We could swap numbers all day, but there is nothing like being in the same room with a dog as big as a pony. Figures do not properly convey how big that is.

Danes are large working dogs, but have also been bred for a regal, elegant appearance and a docile temperament. They are excellent with people and other pets alike. Attacks from this breed are very rare. This has loaned them the nickname "the Apollo of all breeds"- in short, a dog so magnificent that it can be compared to the divine.

Even the divine need flaws, and the Great Dane has them in spades. They have been bred so extensively for size that, like many large dog breeds, they have a tendency towards a nasty stomach disease called gastric dilatation vulvosis (GDV). In GDV, the stomach twists upon itself; this warrants immediate surgery. The usual prescription for preventing this in Danes is to tack the stomach onto the right side of the abdominal wall. No wonder the little puppy above looks so sad.

GDV is just the tip of the iceberg. Danes also have a history of heart conditions which have no reliable prevention method. This barrage of problems leads to a shorter lifespan in Danes than other dogs - approx 6.5-7 years. The name "Heartbreak breed" is more than apt. Poor Rumpus probably got killed off by one of the many breed disorders associated with being a Dane.

By the way, Danes have naturally floppy ears...and usually aren't this white.

Gaga's Harlequin Danes have one more problem to add to the list: Every white dog breed in existence is prone to deafness and poor eyesight. Melanin (black pigment) does a lot in mammals. Parts without black pigment, specifically the ears and eyes, are prone to burning and generally not functioning well. Mammalian ears need melanin to hear properly. If a dog is white around the ears or eyes, it may be deaf, blind, or both. It is strange to hear a deaf dog bark.



Despite all their heritable issues, Danes have left their pawprint on popular culture. Comic dog Marmaduke is a Great Dane. So is the ever-lovable Scooby-Doo. The Hound of the Baskervilles has always been a Great Dane in films. Gaga's dogs are in very good company; it's such a shame that her unicorn invokes images of My Little Pony, Lisa Frank, and CHAARRRLLIIIEEEE.

Tomorrow: Is this dog on steroids? Part of a Russian army experiment to make the world's strongest dog? The answer to both is "no."

Freak Week II HO!

Today is Lady Gaga's birthday. No, we are not trying to deliberately synchronize every theme week with Lady Gaga - just this one. It just so happened that both of these recent themes fit with "Born This Way," too.

This dog is not anorexic. She may or may not have self-esteem issues.

For those of you who missed last Freak Week, it was devoted to things not made by nature, but by man. Specifically, we were looking at different breeds of animal. Chances are, if left to their own devices, Darwin would hit them all with his cane and we would never speak of them again.Breeds can be just as freaky as wild animals; just because it's domesticated doesn't mean it isn't cool!

Freak Week focuses on breeds. That means hybrids like mules do not count. Neither do white tigers; that is just one morph, although they are slowly becoming a breed in and of themselves. Gene-spliced organisms, such as those GFP rats we love so much, also do not qualify as breeds. So, recap: What makes a breed a breed, again?

1. The animal/plant in question has to be considered domesticated.
2. It has to look and behave differently from others of its species.
3. It has to breed true, i.e. pass those different traits on to its offspring. 

So, let the curtains rise on creatures (and plants) that we SWEAR were born that way...

"They Actually Eat That:" Frogs.

"Frogs and snails and puppy dog tails..." That's what little boys are made of. We've done dog. We've done snails. Real-life Hypnotoad up there is not happy that frogs are, unfortunately, also fairly common food items around the world. No, we are not talking about a stupid dare in college to eat the frog on the bio dissection table. Frogs are haut cuisine in many, many places.

Frogs are often described as "tasting like chicken" (just like everything else) simply because they are closer to chickens than mammals on the evolutionary playing field. The meat of cold-blooded animals is also such that frog legs sometimes death-twitch while in the pan (or just with a little salt).



Eating frogs, particularly frog legs, has a link with French culture. If the French have touched a place, it has frog legs on the menu. Vietnam? Yep. Louisiana? Sure. France? Mais oui!



Several other places have frogs as food without French influence. China (surprised?) and Indonesia are also large consumers of frog meat. In China, frog legs are stir-fried; in Indonesia, frog legs are used in a soup called Swikee. Hell, most of the frogs eaten in France today were farmed in Indonesia.

Eating frogs has also been recorded in India, Spain, Greece, and a few places in California. In short, frogs are eaten just about everywhere in some way, shape or form. Maybe Kermit was right: It's not easy being a green frog.


Only Gaga wears them as clothing. We're pretty sure about that.


Next week: Just to prove that NOTHING is off the menu...dragons. And fortune-telling.

Creature Feature: Sea Pig.

At one point, it was thought that everything on land had a direct counterpart under the sea. That is why certain creatures have names like seahorse, sea cow, sea lion, and so forth, even if they do not really look anything like horses, cows, or lions. Ancient naturalists thought, "eh, close enough." Hell, the same could be said of sea cucumbers, even though they are not even plants. They just look like it.

 

Sea cucumbers in general are pretty weird creatures. (Wow, echindoderms really do not get enough love on this blog, do they?) They resemble, umm, cucumbers that have already been partially digested, sometimes with acid paint jobs for good measure, and just stay on the ocean floor, chillin' and eating whatever floats down. If a predator comes along, they pull the ultimate nasty prank and let out some of their internal organs into the ocean. Don't worry; they grow back. 

One of the members of the sea cucumber family ups the weirdness ante by a few more dollars. Ladies and gents, meet the sea pig (genus Scotoplanes):

Oink.

 














 Part Babe and part eldritch horror, the sea pig is the cutest of the sea cucumber bunch. It lives in large herds with 300-600 members, scrounging the deepsea abyss for anything tasty that floats down from the surface. They prefer rich, organic tissue such as fresh whale meat.

Sea pigs are the only holothurians with tube feet large enough to be called legs. The sea pig uses special water cavities inside its body to inflate and deflate sections around its 'limbs,' allowing it to walk like a little piggy in the darkness of the abyss.

 

Sea pigs (as well as sea cucumbers in general) have another fascinating defense mechanism: They can liquefy their inner parts to slip into the tiniest crack. Again, they come out perfectly fine afterward; sea cucumbers have barely any skeletons to speak of. We should all be ashamed for having such rigid spinal cords.


Looks like one of those splatter-pig toys...

The sea pig is currently under threat from deep-ocean trawling. Whole herds have been pulled up in fishing nets, which is unfortunately one of the few reasons we know sea pigs even exist. They are, like land pigs, a valuable source of food for deepsea predators. Better stop, guys; Cthulhu might get mad if we eat all of his ham.


Sea Pig by =TheEclecticEccentric on deviantART
(Plus, they're kinda adorable.)


Tomorrow: Speaking of weird echinoderms, this next one's a real basketcase!