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Sunday, August 14, 2011

Creature Feature: Geoducks.

We try not to turn this blog into a parade of dick jokes. That's what most of the internet is for. However, there are some times when we just can't help it. Nature sometimes THROWS dick and/or vulva at our collective face. Geez, nature, no wonder the Chinese consider geoducks an aphrodisiac:


 Those giant marine clams above are called geoducks (Panopea generosa). They are not ducks, and it's pronounced "gooeyduck." The name apparently comes from some corrupted Nisqually word meaning "dig deep," as they are rather large burrowing clams. Other fun names include "mud duck," "king clam," or "elephant trunk clam."

Geoducks are native to the coasts of Washington and British Columbia. They are the largest burrowing clam in the world (7.9 in/20 cm at largest), and can live over a hundred years (with the record being 168 years). Nobody really seems to care how large the shell is or how long they live; everybody wants to see the siphons, which...yeeaaah...

For those of you unaware of mollusc biology, bivalves like geoducks use their siphons for eating, breathing, excreting, and, yes, mating. Burrowing clams tend to have the longest siphons of any molluscs. The siphons of a geoduck can be up to a meter in length - a record among bivalves. Such a long extension also makes human males get inferiority complexes.

Geoducks happen to have some of the tastiest cock around. The siphon is valued by both Eastern and Western cultures for its meat, although some consider it an aphrodisiac anyways. (For once, China, we see eye to eye.) They sell in China for up to 168 USD per pound. A whole 80-million dollar industry has boomed over clam cock. Human porn, you have met your match in a single clam.

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