Bio-Art: Love Lost/Lost Love.

Remember Damien Hirst? The guy who pickled sharks and various farm animals, then put them on display? Good. Remember how I said that artists had to keep trying and trying to shock if shock value was one of their big selling points? Yes? Good, because Damien Hirst has taken that step. 

Like something out of a Disney movie, British comedy, or both, these fish are here to see an underwater gynecologist. The two-part piece is called Love Lost or Lost Love, depending on what tank you're looking at. They're supposed to be seen together. They are not Hirst's usual formaldehyde puppets; these are live fish in a real aquarium that needs maintenance, just like an in-home aquarium. It was done in 2000, but it's still good to know that Hirst can keep things alive, too. Dunking things in formaldehyde had to be getting old.

There are two separate aquaria filled with different fish. One features African freshwater fish; the other contains nothing but common black carp. Both of them feature the setting of an undersea gynecologist. Again, "so a fish goes to the gynecologist" sounds like a bar joke. It's just such a surreal idea, but given tomorrow's animal, fish must need all sorts of crazy medical treatments.

So, what's the punchline? These are African freshwater fish. Another tank has carp in a similar situation. Carp are notoriously invasive species, pushing all freshwater fish out of the ecosystem. Guess who needs help reproducing and who doesn't? I'm not sure if that was what Hirst intended, but that's what good art does: leave itself open to interpretation.

This set of tanks has to be one of Hirst's most creative setups yet. An aquarium is an in-home work of art that many people take for granted, let alone try to make a statement out of. Face it: whatever tank decor Petco has, it just can't compete with medical equipment.

Bio-Art: Away from the Flock (Divided).

There is a phrase called "starving artist." To make a lot of money, artists have to keep doing controversial things. When the controversial becomes expected, however, is it still controversial? Apparently so. After all, people with way too much time and money on their hands pay millions for art like this:

Pic from trash.nonoo.hu.

Damien Hirst has done it again: he has dunked an animal in formaldehyde and called it art. "Away From the Flock (Divided)" features a bisected lamb split between two tanks. One of Hirst's other works, "Mother and Child (Divided)", has a similar theme. Nonetheless, the split sheep remains a trademark of Damien Hirst's style. It was sold at a Christie's auction for 3.3 million dollars, but was expected to hit 3.8. That's a lot of preserved mutton.

Just to be clear, I am aware that there is some skill present in this piece and others like it. It can't be easy to bisect a lamb that neatly. It also can't be easy to put both halves in formaldehyde without spilling lamb entrails everywhere. These, I will admit, qualify as art. Whether it is worth millions and worth replacing (even preserved animals don't last forever) is another issue entirely.

Hirst's logic for splitting a lamb in two and dunking both halves in formaldehyde? It's a statement about God.  There are a tons of lines calling humans God's little sheep, which becomes more disturbing the more you think about it. If you want to extend the metaphor, the split sheep could represent a religious schism. It really is just a matter of perspective. One man's bisected lamb is another man's religious statement.

But can Hirst keep up the shock value? If the difference between the projected price and the actual price is any indication, the demand has gone down for Hirst's work.Eventually, putting dead animals in glass and calling it art is not going to work anymore. Yes, it's cool to have a style, but shock pieces get old after a while. Animal in a tank? We've seen that before. Next?

Bio-Art: Pigs Might Fly.

The phrase "when pigs fly" means that something will never happen. For example: "Sure, I'll vote Republican...when pigs fly." (No offense to any Republicans out there; I was merely using political views as an example of usually-unchangeable things.)  Flying pigs are not expected to exist, ever, but that is not the way science works. "Impossible" is one of those words that science wishes did not exist.

The kicker? Flying pigs could exist if someone really wanted them to. Ever so slowly, the impossible is becoming quite possible. Soon, pigs will be able to fly; conveniently,  a certain bio-artist has made the idea come to life. Well, sort of.

"Pigs Might Fly" is another taxidermy piece by British artist Damien Hirst. It sold in the September of 2008 in an art auction that totaled 198 million dollars - a record for a one-artist auction. For those of you unfamiliar with Hirst's work, this blog has plenty of it. Among his more memorable pieces are a fully-soaked shark, a mother and her calf bisected, and a cow with gold-plated hooves.A flying pig is just another drop in the bucket.

Like many of Hirst's works, this flying piglet is hovering in a bath of formaldehyde. The piglet has pure white dove wings attached, ready to take flight - if only there wasn't a glass wall in the way. The pose of the piglet is stunning, and definitely merits this being art. That is one realistic flying pig; no wonder it sold for so much.

Photo by CBS.

Think that this is something only a taxidermist would dream up? Hardly. There are viruses that rewrite DNA called "retroviruses." Gene splicing is already a thing. Give it time before they make a live flying pig. Hirst has already made the blueprints.

So, pigs can fly. What are we going to say is impossible now?

Bio-Art: Mother and Child, Divided.

Happy belated Mother's Day, everyone! I hope you had a great time hanging out with your mothers. I know that sounds weird to say. As today's art piece shows, not everybody is so lucky. 

Disclaimer: Art and pic belong to Hirst.

Hello again, Damien Hirst. Fancy seeing you on this column with yet another formaldehyde piece. Mother and Child, Divided features a fully-immersed cow and calf separated by a number of barriers - including one gruesome twist.  This time, quite a lot is in the name.


Mother and Child, Divided is a fitting title in more ways than one. Not only are the cow and calf lamenting being separated postmortem, the displays themselves are bisected. The full setup contains a total of four tanks, each containing half of a cow or calf. Both mother and child are bisected. They are set up so that museum-goers can walk between the halves and see what the cows really look like inside.  How the organs do not randomly float around in the formaldehyde, I have no idea. The cows also have to be replaced from time to time.

This piece caused quite a stir when it was brought to Japan (the land of Godzilla, ninjas, and tentacle porn) for an art exhibition in 2008.  Japan had a ban on British beef out of fear of mad cow disease. It was quite a hassle not only transporting the containers, but explaining that these cows were not for eating. I don't think the Japanese would try that anyways, but am nonetheless sure there is porn of it. It's the internet.

This is one piece that, despite previous questioning of Hirst's work, is definitely art in my mind. It is a very real, but often unacknowledged fact that cows are frequently separated from their young on factory farms. The only thing that could have made this sadder would have been to have the mother and child facing each other. Clearly, some thought went behind this formaldehyde-laden work.

Or maybe Hirst just wanted to mess with cow corpses for some other reason. Anyways, happy belated Mother's Day!

Bio-Art: For the Love of God.

Pop quiz: What do you want to happen to your body after you die? Donate your body to science? Be on display in the Body Worlds exhibit? Get cremated and send your ashes over your favorite place in the world? Some of us wouldn't mind having the carbon from our bodies being compacted into diamonds. Then, well, there's immortality in style:

We will never be done with Damien Hirst. That name should ring a few bells; he did an art piece involving a real dead shark suspended in-vitro and a cow with gold-plated hooves. In case you need a refresher, Hirst is the British artist. That shark of his is the mascot for Britart everywhere.The glittering skull made in 2007, however, may soon replace it.

Now, no doubt some of you saw this and immediately thought "crystal skull!" Your mental jump is justified. The skull was indeed inspired by Meso-American art - specifically, the turquoise skulls made by the Aztecs. Go away, conspiracy theorists. Damien Hirst is not stroking your Mayan alien conspiracies. The title "For the Love of God" supposedly comes from something his mother said, not an offering to the dark lord. Satan would probably be pleased, though.

The skull itself is probably from a European between the 1700's and 1800's. It is covered in 8,601 flawless diamonds, including a giant pink one as the centerpiece. The skull was also encased in platinum before being covered in diamonds. There are few sweeter ways to go out than to have your head used as bling, so one must think the colonial American must be pleased from beyond the grave. Hell, it sold for 50 million British Pounds. You don't need a currency converter to know that's a lot of cash.

Unfortunately, several people are less than happy with the skull and Hirst's success with it. One artist who made a similar crystal skull in 1993 has dubbed For the Love of God plagiarism. Others say that the sale in its entirety was a fake; the buyer was anonymous. Perhaps the sharpest critique was a sculpture called For the Love of Go(l)d- a statue of Hirst shooting himself in the name of money. Nobody would put it beyond him.

Bio-Art: Jaws...in Formaldehyde?!

Art is meant to spark controversy. Modern art in particular really plays with what it means to be art. "But is it art?" can be asked of almost any modern art piece, especially when it comes to mixing art with science.



Damien Hirst is a British artist famous for a number of biological art pieces. He is a 46-year-old man still living in Britain. Among other things, he pioneered the "Britart" trend of the 1990's. He even designed a piano for Lady Gaga. We'll be seeing this guy again.

For now, though...



Yes, that is a real shark. No, it is no longer alive.

Damien Hirst looooves doing things in formaldehyde. Besides this shark, he has done preserved art with cows on several occasions, sheep, and dogs. There will be more of him in future weeks, but for now, know that he wandered a tiny bit into hubris territory by plating a cow's horns and hooves in 18-karat gold. Of course he put it in formaldehyde. 

The Physical Impossibility of Death in the Mind of Someone Living is one of Hirst's many formaldehyde pieces. It was commissioned in 1991 by one Charles Saatchi, who apparently had nothing better to do than get his name attached to an undead shark. The tiger shark itself cost 6,000 British pounds. The whole display cost 50,000. Whatever floats your boat, Saatchi...whatever floats your boat.

I HUNGER.

As per the reeaaaalllyyy long title, the shark is supposed to be so lifelike that it can inspire fear even after death. Small wonder; if you saw a 14-foot shark up close and personal, you would probably flinch. The first shark decayed after a while in its original gallery, and, after being replaced in 2006, was temporarily moved to the New York Metropolitan Museum of Art. It left there in 2010, making one wonder where the giant shark is now.

You could almost say Hirst jumped the shark. Naaaah...let's not. He probably still has a few ideas left.