Newsflash/Nature Strikes Back: Acts of Dog.

If you're a regular follower of this blog, you know my stance on dogs. Specifically, people see dogs through glasses so rosy that they forget that there's another species beneath that fur. Yes, dogs are helpful animals. Yes, they were the first domesticated animal. Yes, they can effectively mold themselves into human habits. Are they people? No. There's still a fair amount of wolf in there, and anthropomorphizing that away causes a lot of problems.That includes canine-related fatalities.

Dog attacks happen all the time. This most recent of reports shows exactly how easily it occurs. It's not even news- dog attacks just happen. That is how common they are. Granted, it still dwarfs the overall amount of dogs owned, but it's still pretty common.

What?

That said, it takes special stuff to get a dog attack into the news. The blog above mentions a "pit bull" in the reports. I love the quotes around "pit bull," if only because it's a huge buzz word that practically guarantees a media review. The dog involves could have been 25% pit bull with retriever mixed in, but as long as there's some pit in there, it's legit fodder to get the attack reported. No wonder pit bulls have the most reported attacks; people know what the media wants to see.

Yes, reporting animal attacks has a lot to do with reputation. While I am not a dog person, know that these attacks are reported and/or occurred because the breeds listed are raised for aggression. The blog is 100% right that dogs that are not well-socialized become aggressive as well. You raise a dog to attack? Oh, and leave its balls on? Yeah, no kidding, you're asking for a bite. "My own dog bit my face off!" should not be a surprise at that point.

The reality? Chihuahuas bite far more than pit bulls ever will. Again, it's an issue of training, but this time in reverse: there's something called "Small Dog Syndrome" that occurs very frequently with small dogs, including Chihuahuas. Long story short, SDS occurs when a small dog presents dominant behaviors, but the human owners do not do anything about it, leading to all sorts of issues. Chihuahuas in particular have to be bred for docility. No doubt bites from Chihuahuas are frequent, but no media outlet would report on it because, well, no Chihuahuas have actually gone "killer bunny" on people and left corpses in their little wakes. Now that would be a news story!

Freak Week IV: Rhodesian Ridgeback.

For whatever reason, cops have been killing a lot of puppies, lately. There have been way too many instances of cops shooting family dogs, so yes, the government does kill puppies. This one happened right near where I live...and features a breed that I had not even heard about until this incident: The Rhodesian Ridgeback.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are one of those "what else would you call it?" dogs. From Rhodesia in Zimbabwe, these strange dogs have been around since the 16th and 17th centuries (when the Cape Colony was being settled). The official standard dates back to 1922.  They are intelligent, mischievous, active dogs that require stimulation, but can be great pets so long as they are handled well.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks get their name for one very obvious trait: a ridge of hair on their spines that grows in the opposite direction from the rest of the hairs on its body. The original Ridgeback from Zimbabwe, as well as the Thai Ridgeback (one of the oldest dog breeds), also have this strange development. It looks like mostly an aesthetic thing that helps cement the breed as opposed to something useful.

PUPPIES! - Source.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are all-around awesome dogs. They're hunters, retrievers, and great family pets. They're actually called "lion dogs" because they can hunt lions once unleashed in a pack. That said, this dog needs a lot of exercise, and has endurance that would make a marathon runner keel over. They do have issues with hip dyplasia and cancer, so even being a badass otherwise doesn't make them problem-free.

Another downside: Ridgebacks can play a little rough. If you don't assert your dominance, then they can get destructive. Is that any reason to shoot one? No. There is no way for this dog to be confused for a coyote or whatever. Some officer just up and shot a family pet. This is not cool....but on the bright side, it inspired a blog entry. My condolences; that sounded like a great dog.

Bio-Art: Inside of A Dog.

For those of you who have not been keeping up with my entries, especially during Freak Weeks, I am not a dog person. This doesn't mean that I haven't looked into them as animals  - far from it. When I found a book called Inside of a Dog: What Dogs See, Smell, and Know by Alexandra Horowitz, I got it. Not a bad deal for 6 bucks, to say the least, even though I've never had a dog.

So now you're probably wondering: Why would I investigate a book called Inside of a Dog? The simple answer is that I like looking at things from different angles. Animal behavior is fascinating; it reminds us that, hey, other animals besides humans have lives, perceptions, and so forth. Plus, in case I ever do get a dog, I want to know what makes the most bizarre non-human animal in the world tick.  Doubtless some dog owners wonder this as well. 

Inside of a Dog:What Dogs See, Smell, and Know, is not some gross book about canine anatomy. Rather, it's about the canine mind. What does a canine smile mean? What do barks, and the different kinds of barks, really mean? Do dogs see humans as another species, or as other dogs?  These are all fascinating questions that go all-but-unanswered by serious scientific studies. Inside of A Dog compiles nearly every study done on canine behavior, and then some, into a comprehensible format.

The book proposes to immerse us so thoroughly into a dog's mind that "we become honorary dogs ourselves." It does this by highlighting both scientific experiments upon dog psychology and the author's personal observations of her own dog, Pumpernickel. She watched tapes upon tapes of dogs playing to observe every nuance in their behavior. Her desire was to see into a dog's umwelt - a sort of private world that dogs can only experience because they're dogs. Seriously, we, with our pathetic noses, have no idea how much information is being exchanged when one dog sniffs another's butt.

Sound like a lot to take in? Don't worry. For the most part, the book is accessible. That's the real key to its success: It speaks to the layman without being at all condescending.  The dog's inner world is brought to light in regular, human terms, such as comparing the dog's mind to stages of human development. All scientific jargon is explained.

Despite not being a dog person, I do agree with the book on at least one count: the author's whole thesis works around breaking the strange anthropomorphy that people have with dogs. Dogs have their own umwelten; they see their world completely differently from humans, especially in regards to smell. If you want to understand dogs as something more than "low-class people," buy Inside of a Dog right now. Or heck, Christmas is coming; go ahead and get it for the literate dog lover in your life. Sit. Stay. Read.

Who Let The Dogs Out: Komondor.

You may have noticed a trend for this week: Small dogs tend to be weird. Versatile as the canid genome may be, abusing it is not without its faults. The weirdest dogs also tend to be from China, but that's beside the point.

As if to prove that not all weird dogs are small, we have the Komondor. This guy looks similar to the Puli, another Hungarian dog with a mop for fur, but is quite a bit larger. The breed has been recognized by the AKC since 1937. Although not quite Chinese, the Komondor's ancestors do hail from Tibet.  It's still cool enough to be one of Hungary's national treasures.

The Komondor's coat consists of white cords that look like albino dreadlocks. This was originally used to prevent bites from wolves that would attack sheep flocks; no matter how cool wolves are, they just can't bite through an organic mop. The moppy coat can only be white in a Komondor, so if you want black or grey, try a Puli. No, they do not come in pastel pink or any other color that would suggest that they can be treated like Crimp n' Curl Cabbage Patch Dogs. Even the Puli would be slightly offended by that; Komondors are even more serious business.

They look more like poodles as puppies. Laugh while you can.

Komondors are guard dogs. They do not even need to be told to guard sheep and cattle. There is a saying that a Komondor might let an intruder into the house, but will never let them out, leaving the helpless soul pinned under the dog's weight (which can be upwards of 80 pounds). They are always wary of strangers. That said, early socialization of these dogs is a must.

Aside from their protective temperament, Komondors have very few health problems compared to every toy breed ever. The main problems are with the eyes, including cataracts and inversion of the eyelid. Bloat is a problem in all large dogs. Due to the heavy coat, parasites are common. That coat also requires a lot of maintenance. Budget accordingly. 

Komondors may look silly to us, but they are not goofballs. The breed has the ability to think independently and has been praised for its strength, valor and courage over the centuries. They are still pretty popular today, especially for shows and livestock hunting. Don't let the haircut fool you; this dog will not back down from wolves.

Who Let The Dogs Out?: Pugs.

Humans have a very weird definition of "cute." Generally, if it has big eyes, a nearly-flat face, and a short body, it fits this definition. Animators figured this out a long time ago. There are several guides which can tell you, in scientific detail, how to design a cute character. It's really kind of creepy how well they have this pegged.

Thing is, animation rules don't always translate to real life. Case in point, pugs.




Pugs are wrinkled, little dogs who fall under the "toy" header. Generally speaking, they are small, stocky, "squarish" dogs with wrinkly faces and almost no snout. We're pretty sure pugs came from China; they may go back to 551 BCE if Confucius was indeed describing a pug. Some records say that they've been around even longer.They look a lot like the same "lion" that the Pekingese were pointed towards, only not as furry and not as spoiled by a certain empress dowager. No, they were meant to guard Buddhist monasteries.

The pug is usually summarized thus: multum in parvum, or "a lot in a little." They have a lot of personality for a small dog. They are outgoing, playful, and eager to please. They can, however, be rather stubborn as well, and require a healthy amount of exercise. Personality-wise, they are a good match for most people.

So, what's not cute about that? The combination of facial folds and large, bulging eyes creates an uncanny effect. Also, if you look at clips on YouTube, you hear pugs snorting. Indeed, pugs do have respiratory issues; they also have a million eye problems from the shortened skull and overheat really easily. There are also a few pug-exclusive diseases, including necrotizing meningencephslitis - inflammation of the brain and central nervous system. Cute comes at a price.

Pugs are one of those dogs that I, personally, look at and go, "are these really worth it?" These guys are not as notoriously aggressive as Chihuahuas, but they do come with a laundry list of problems. They sounds like good companion dogs...if you can handle the extra care involved. You mileage may vary on cuteness. Still not too bad for a dog made in China.

"They Actually Eat That"/Who Let The Dogs Out: Hot Dogs and Dachshunds.

You're probably thinking that this entry is some sort of bad joke. I already did an entry on eating dogs, after all. This was just my corny attempt to fit "They Actually Eat That" in with the theme week. I don't need to make many more bad jokes; dachshund owners do it for me.

For those of you who assumed "wiener dog" could not possibly be the right name for a dog breed, the proper title for sausage-like dogs is "dachshund."  The breed could date all the way back to ancient Egypt, but the first confirmed dachshund was recorded in the 1700's. They are now so closely associated with Germany that the 1972 summer Olympics in Germany created a dachshund mascot.

Waldi, the too-colorful dachshund mascot.

The dachshund's shape is deliberate. It was meant to hunt badgers (with the name meaning "badger hound"). That long, narrow, pointy shape fits perfectly into a badger burrow. The front paws even help for digging! There are also some mini-hot dogs bred to hunt rabbits. The pet dachshunds are usually "tweenies," or wiener dogs somewhere in the middle of the two sizes.

Believe it or not, there actually is a relationship between dachshunds and hot dogs. A German concession seller at the polo grounds in New York first called sausages in a bun "Dachshund sandwiches" sometime in the early 1900's. Supposedly, a New York Post cartoonist could not spell "dachshund," so the name "hot dog" stuck instead. That said, hot dogs themselves are mystery meat coated in bacteria that might make you sick if not cooked and cause cancer if consumed too often, so please avoid them whenever possible.

Also avoid putting them on your dog. Seriously, it looks ashamed.

The strange shape of the dachshund is not without its price. There is a spinal disc malfunction so specific to dachshunds that it's dubbed "Dachshund Paralysis" by most people. Dachshunds are lazy in old age, leading to obesity, diabetes, and all those other nice things doctors warn you about. Demeanor-wise, they are also prone to being brave to the point of recklessness, disobedient, and downright aggressive if not properly amused. E.B. White had quite an experience with his own dachshund, Fred, who "even disobeys me when I instruct him in something he wants to do." Not a beginner's dog by any means.

So, next time you see a furry little sausage at the park, bear the following in mind: 1. Dachshunds  were meant to hunt badgers, easily among the meanest furry mammals on the planet; 2. they are almost synonymous with Germany, a place known for meat, beer, and Rammstein; 3. they are aggressive, assertive little buggers who do not know what it means when you are bigger than them. Have fun sticking them in hot dog buns, now.

Theme Week for September: Who Let The Dogs Out?!

 

For those of you who have not been following this blog for very long, I am not a dog person. In fact, I think there are some examples of severe insanity among dog owners in particular.  The video above covers just one of my major bitches (pun intended) with dog people. It's like dogs are Jesus or something. There, I said it; props to the random person on Twitter who put my bile for the dog's seeming Mary Sue-ness in our society into one succinct phrase. It's not that I hate dogs, it's that people get insane concerning dogs.

Now, mind, I know a few people with dogs. Some of them are perfectly nice people. My best friend still talks about her deceased dog Bruno just like Foamy described; that's an issue, but I would call it the tip of the iceberg. No, it's these people I have a real problem with:

In recent years, the dog has become a total commodity. We now have a wealth of products assuring you that your dog can color-coordinate with whatever you happen to be wearing: doggy clothes; doggy birthday cakes; doggy nail polish; doggy hair dye. Dog yoga is also apparently a thing ("doga"). I'm fine with giving dogs treats, but this is disturbing when you think about it. It's overanthropomorphizing to an unhealthy degree. Yes, all pet owners do this on some level, but it borders on madness with dogs. As if to add insult to injury, this is especially prevalent on smaller dogs- dogs that already come with problems.

Mind, the early people got really lucky when they managed to domesticate the first wolf. They happened to find an animal that could not only recognize people as alpha, but had quite a few other behaviors in common as well. It also happened that wolves had an extremely versatile genome (bigger than the human genome by a LOT- 23 chromosome pairs in humans versus 39 pairs in dogs) that allowed for a great variety of breeds to flourish over the centuries.

But where did we get off turning wolves into this?

I swear there is a dog beneath all that fur.

There are some dog breeds that just make me go "why?" I've already done an entry on Chihuahuas, the most "why would you do that?" dog in the entire world,  but there are still so many more dog breeds out there that make my mind reel with WTF. Many of them have already been covered. This is just picking up more freakish scraps. Just because we can mess with the canine genome doesn't mean we should.

Bio-Art: K9 and Ruppy.

Remember Eduardo Kac's GFP Bunny project? The one in which Alba, the glowing green bunny, was supposed to be integrated into normal bunny life?  He intended to take that project to the next level by creating a GFP dog (GFP K-9). It fell through, but here's a nice Photoshopped prototype:

Pic by Kac. Disclaimer: Actual dog may vary.

Luckily for Eduardo Kac, scientists in South Korea have been hard at work making glowing puppies real. They have made glowing dogs with an on-off switch. They also made Ruppy, a beagle that glows red, in 2009. I would make a joke about eating dog, but dog research is actually legitimate in some cases. In Ruppy's...you make the call.

Ruppy was spliced with a RFP (red fluorescent protein), making her the first transgenic dog ever.  In plain English, that means she glows red beneath ultraviolet light. The pigment is not nearly as widespread as someone like Kac would like it to be; only the spots that would normally be white on a beagle's coat wind up glowing red. Still better than nothing. Remember, we got no proof that Alba actually glowed except her slightly green coloration.

She is also a cloned dog, which opens a few more cans of worms. When you get to cloning dogs as well as mice, rabbits, and rats, you now have conclusive proof that many species of mammals can be cloned safely. This naturally opens the door to questions about human cloning. Dogs are pretty darn close to people in society ("low-class people" or "high-class animals," I've heard). You would have to be living under a rock to not get how controversial cloning humans is. Dog cloning is getting there.

Let's be perfectly honest: What reason would science have to make a glowing dog other than "hey, look, we made a glowing dog!"?  You can make the "genetic disease research" argument all you like. There are very few reasons to make dogs glow. Sure, if they had a natural glowing gene that only dogs had, that'd be a good reason to breed glowing dogs; as-is, we can probably stick with rabbits and rats when it comes to treating Parkinson's.The clip in a link cited several diseases that dogs and humans have in common, but part of me just thinks they're pulling an Eduardo Kac and making their genetic research look cool in the process.

The most plausible reason to experiment on dogs is to look at things that change with age, specifically fertility. The same scientist who made Ruppy is working on a project with oestrus triggers. We can only assume that a hose will be involved. Whether these tests will be repeated on humans or not remains to be seen.