Nature Strikes Back: Drunk Elephants.

A lot of religions, and even nonreligious people, like to think that humans are something special. "Closest to God" comes up a lot. Basically, we think very highly of ourselves, even though we have screwed things up - sometimes irreparably. We may build skyscrapers, but whoops, that's more undiscovered species dead!

This week flies in the face of that vain way of thinking. In other words, nature doesn't give a **** about how special humans supposedly are and causes havoc anyways, treating them just like every other animal on the planet. Every so often, there are events that will remind humans that, hey, there's a huge wild world out there, and we're just a small part of it that is slowly decimating the rest. We aren't just talking about predators going on killing sprees; we're talking about craziness like...

...drunk elephants. You are reading that statement 100% correctly.

Yes, elephants like drinking. There are plenty of animals that like altering their consciousness on some level. Anybody who has given their cat catnip will tell you that most of them seem to like getting high as a freakin' kite on the stuff. It's kinda rare for animals to like liquor - or, rather, to like liquor and be able to tolerate it. (Please don't give your dog beer; it's not worth risking their health for something funny.)

It turns out that elephants might be able to get drunk without the aid of humans as well. In South Africa, there is a fruit called a "marula" that is not only delicious when ripe, but ferments into potent liquor after being ingested. There is some doubt as to whether elephants in particular get drunk off of a few fruits, but the "documentary" Animals Are Beautiful People at the very least shows us what a drunk elephant might look like so that we can get the eff out of the way.



Basically, elephants are smart, huge animals that like getting wasted. They have figured out that humans have booze, and will go out of their way to get it. Talk about nature being adaptive; these elephants will literally trample right over people to get their fix. They act aggressive and awkward while drunk, and presumably say all the things they want to say but normally wouldn't in front of their elephant buddies.

Sound familiar? Yes? Well, add on the usual human drunkenness to tons of muscle and a 30 mile-per-hour charge. Suddenly, the image of a drunk elephant is not so funny. Multiply it by fifty; elephants can rush their version of a bar en masse, too. It happens a lot wherever humans and elephants happen to coincide. Y'know, as if the elephant had not already been subconsciously linked with liquor.

As a reminder, this is a thing.

Creature Feature: Black-and-Rufous-Sengi.

There are very, very few animal "combinations" that have not been done. You can slap almost any animal onto "fish" and there's probably one or two combinations for it. This is a lot rarer with mammals, but "deermouse" is a notable exception. "Elephant shrew" is a strange, almost contradictory name, which it made complete sense to change.

Source.

This is a black-and-rufous sengi (Rhynchocyon petersi). Sengis, also known as elephant shrews, are all native to Africa; there are 16 species total. This one is native to Tanzania and Kenya. Despite its looks, is perfectly capable of eating rodents as well as insects and vegetation. They are not shrews, but have flexible, sensitive noses like elephants, hence the old name.

Elephant shrews are more closely related to elephants than to shrews. They're part of that weird group of mammals called Afrotherians, which, again, has nothing to do with big, poofy hair. Rather, it has to do with elephants, aardvarks, and rodent-like creatures being each other's great, great, greatgreatgreatgreat grandparents, twice removed. It's unbelievable stuff that has been covered several times on this blog.

Source.

The weirdness does not stop at elephant shrews/sengis in general. The black-and-rufous sengi is one of the larger sengis, averaging about a foot long from head to rump. The tail can be up to ten inches long.  It is also one of the more colorful sengis, sporting an attractive red and black coat.They are standouts in a group that's already pretty weird.

The black-and-rufous sengi is also on the "vulnerable" list. This is more due to habitat loss than any other factor. Several zoos have breeding programs, most notably the one in Philedelphia, Pennsylvania. Two brothers are born in the National Zoo in Washington D.C. as well. There's no immediate danger, so we'll be able to enjoy these weird little rascals for a long time to come.



(Plus, THOSE TEETH!)

Bio-Art: The Holy Virgin Mary.

Remember that cow pat paperweight from a previous bio-art review? Yeaaah, after thinking about it, there were several people who would like that. Scat fetishists aside, there are fascinating things about animal feces.  Some artists even use dung as an artistic medium.

Yeah. Y'know what? I'm sure you can see where this is going. After that paragraph and a quick glance at the title, you have to realize that this is leading nowhere good fast. Brace yourself for the black virgin Mary plastered with elephant dung and naughty bits.

This, umm...art piece...was made by one Chris Ofili. Ofili is a Nigerian artist born in Manchester, England. He had a Catholic education and went to two art colleges. Along with elephant dung, he has plastered pornographic images upon the sacred virgin. It's properly called The Holy Virgin Mary and was on display in a gallery called Sensation until it entered a private collection. It is now on display again in the Museum of New and Old Art in Hobart, Tasmania.

Elephant dung is a recurring medium in Ofili's works. It's not quite splattered; many times, Ofili uses the dung almost like paint or to create a certain texture. Sometimes the dung is even holding the painting up.  It's not like the guy isn't being creative when he uses it in his work. That is at least creative. Elephant dung itself is a versatile material that has been used to make paper; no shit.

One of Mr. Ellie Poo's notebooks, made using the fiber from elephant dung.

For the record, the Black Mary is definitely a thing when she is not covered in elephant dung, too. She is particularly popular in African cultures and among feminists. African Christians like her for obvious reasons; feminists believe that the Black Madonna has a mystique and power that white Mary does not. Some also trace her to pre-Christian cults like the several revolving around Cybele, a Greek earth goddess who had a chariot of lions at her disposal. Kickass.

Regardless of your stance on Black Mary, the virgin Mary is one of the most sacred images in the Catholic church. Here she is with elephant dung and genitalia scattered about. Surely there must be some profoud meaning behind mixing the sacred and profane like that, right?

Umm...nope. Not unless you consider trolling the First Amendment hard in any way philosophical. 

Unfortunately, this piece was made for all the wrong reasons. I would like to say that this has some deep, far-reaching message - I really would - but the sole purpose of this mess's existence is to push the boundaries of free speech.  This thing was shown at a gallery called Sensation- a title which begs both "WTF for the sake of WTF" and "ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS! ASK ME WHAT IT MEANS!" Is that all it takes to be art? I'm not questioning Ofili's choice of medium, artistic talent, or anything else. The sole purpose of this piece is to push the system to its very limits. I'm wondering if that's really art or not. At least it's making me think.

Creature Feature: Otter Shrew.

Wait a second. Wait just a doggone second. You already did otters. Sure, those were sea otters and this looks more like a river otter, and otters are always a ton of fun to watch, but still.

Thing is, this isn't an otter. It's not even related to otters aside from being a mammal. The creature up there is a giant otter shrew (Potamogale velox), which is neither an otter nor a shrew. It is properly a tenrec, native to the forest streams of sub-Saharan Africa. As one might expect, it is a piscivorous, freshwater mammal. Rodent or mustelid it is not.



For those of you who do not recall my Madagascar Week, tenrecs are the weirdest and most diverse members of Afrotheria. They are known for mimicking other, 'normal' animals uncannily well. Unlike most mammals, tenrecs have cloacae (a single opening for defecating, urinating, and birthing) and sport unusually low body temperatures. They're like the marsupials of Madagascar.

The otter shrew is a miracle of convergent evolution. Tenrecs are known for filling a lot of niches, but the otter shrew takes the cake by looking like a river otter, eating like a river otter, and basically being a river otter in every way except genetics and dentition. Tenrecs can mimic the niches and looks of several "normal" animals, but the otter shrew is just insane at how well it copies an otter.

That said, the parts that aren't distinctly otterlike stick out. Unlike otters - hell, unlike marine mammals like dolphins and manatees (to whom the tenrecs are related) - the otter shrew's spine moves side to side like a crocodile's while it's swimming. It also has a crazy skull that looks almost like it belongs on a crocodile more than any sort of mammal. The primitive side of tenrecs is crystal clear beneath that otter facade.

Tenrecs are among those animals that I simply cannot comprehend people not loving. There's a certain charm to a group of animals so like 'normal' animals, but so very far away on a genetic level. Oh, and this one might be more like Pikachu than a rodent, too.

Creature Feature: Aardvark.

Well, that's that. In an attempt to expand my vocabulary, I have procured a dictionary. This creature was the first word that came up after the letter "a," so why not make it today's animal? 



If you, like me, now have a song of "a-a-r-d-v-a-r-k!" running through your head, then you have probably seen the cartoon aardvark Arthur. Arthur does not look a thing like an aardvark (he used to); real aardvarks resemble crosses between pigs and kangaroos, or, if you prefer, the Egyptian god Set (although some would call Set a separate or composite beast). The English name comes from the Afrikaans "earth pig," i.e. "that piglike creature that digs in the ground all the time."

Above: Even older Arthur, personification of evil.

 






















Aardvarks dig all night long. Their front feet, armed with four shovel-like nails, break up the earth excellently; their hind feet, which have five toes and webbing, kick sand out of the aardvark's way as it does its thing. Both sets of claws look like a transition stage between claws and hooves.

With their strange, efficient claws, aardvarks dig extensive burrowing systems that look more like they should belong to the aardvark's favorite foods: Ants and termites. These can be simple holes in the ground or networks with 20 entrances or more. The more complex burrows even have a 'toilet!' When these burrows are abandoned, animals such as bats, birds, hyenas and wild dogs use them for their own purposes.


Omnomnom.

The aardvark uses many adaptations to get at eusocial insects like ants and termites. Its ears can hear the scurrying of tiny insects beneath the ground and its piglike nose can sniff them out. Within the aardvark's long, tubular snout is a sticky tongue that laps up ants just like an anteater's. Although its long snout makes the aardvark look a little bit like the Giant Anteater (Myrmecophaga tridactyla), this is just convergent evolution; maaany unrelated animals that eat ants and termites have evolved adaptations similar to those of the anteater.

If you had to guess what the aardvark was related to, you would probably have a hard time. A lucky shot might lead to 'elephant' - yes, the aardvark is another Afrotherian, albeit one of a kind. The aardvark is the only extant member of Tubilidentata, an order known for odd, rootless teeth that fall out and are replaced like a shark's or crocodile's. (The aardvark's only consistent teeth are towards its cheeks.) The aardvark has not even changed much since mammals first evolved placentas. As the only extant member of this nigh-extinct, strange-as-hell order, the aardvark is considered a living fossil.


Blazing Seth by *skorpiusdeviant on deviantART

Oh, and Satan in furry form.