Creature Feature: Opabinia.

Has anyone ever wondered why aliens are in everything these days? Only conspiracy theorists, most likely. Has anyone ever wondered why the great majority of them look like little more than humans with makeup? There's the intelligence factor, but the real reason is most likely laziness. If you really want to get creative with aliens, you're going to have to go all the way back to the Cambrian.

Like this thing. Wow, is that even from Earth?

Opabinia above was from an earth waaayyy before the first chordates ever roamed the seas. We're talking the Cambrian (545-525 mya), the first period when life was noticeable in Earth's history. It was found in the Burgress Shale with things like Anomalocaris, so we can assume that these things were at least in British Columbia; a questionable specimen was also found in Australia. It was only about 3 innches long. We don't quite know what this thing ate, in part because of one very obvious trait.

Opabinia had a proboscis that looked and likely worked very much like a jagged elephant trunk. This means it probably ate shell-less, squishy little things from the sea bottom. The wormy schnoz was about a third of the length of this creature's body, and its digestive tract actually did a u-turn inside of its body. Quite twisted for one of the most primitive life forms.

Opabina also had strange limbs. Aside from the gill-covered blades, there are tiny little legs on the underside of the creature's body. They weren't jointed, so Opabinia was not quite an arthropod. The tiny legs may be precursors to arthropod legs, supporting the theory that Opabinia and its kin may be the first steps between annelids (earthworms) and arthropods. Trippy.

There has been some confusion as to Opabinia's family tree. Because of its odd "limbs," people have a hard time classing where exactly Opabinia belongs in the grand scheme of things. All sorts of things have been tossed around: arthropod, annelid-arthropod ancestor, and even the closest living relatives being water bears (tardigrades).

And tardigrades have already been made into aliens.

OPabinia is probably one of the best candidates for an alien design in the entire history of the planet. Ship or creature-get creative. Next time you design an alien race, guys, please be more creative than "generic LGM/human with makeup/reptoid." I've particularly wanted to see an alien with a different, completely inhuman jawline, more like a crow or dolphin. It's fine if you want to put aliens into everything, but think outside the box a little.

Creature Feature: Trilobites- K. brutoni.

Of all things this blog has covered, trilobites have not been among them. We've done Anomalocaris, triops, and various other prehistoric shelled things, but never the classic trilobite. So, for the sake of a trilobite finally having its day in the sun, here:

Cambrian (early) trilobite.

For starters: what is a trilobite, anyways? Trilobites were a huge group of extinct arthropods. They came about before the Cambrian Explosion and lasted until the Permian Extimction (252.28 Ma). They took over the world, or at least the seas, during much of their time on earth; if a landmass was underwater up to the Permian, it'll have trilobites somewhere. We are still not sure whether these bizarre creatures were more closely related to crustaceans or arachnids. This is after finding millions of trilobite specimens. Just treat them as their own thing, for now.

Trilobites are by no means rare. There were millions of them in the prehistoric seas. They had four distinct orders and several hundred genera. It is possible to tell where a fossil formation is from just by looking at the trilobites. They came in all sorts of shapes and sizes, so they were able to fit a million different niches. Now, they're so common in fossil collections that rock shops sometimes sell them for cheap. By fossil standards, anyways.

The kicker is that there were so many different trilobites that I would feel guilty compressing them all into one entry. That said, I picked what I thought was the most...shocking...out of the trilobite species: Koneprusia brutoni. 

This is the TOP of the trilobite. (Credit: Wikimedia.)

K. brutoni was one of the most elaborately-decorated trilobites in existence. It lived during the Devonian in what is now Morocco. Its genus was a member of the order Lichida, which is notorious for spiny trilobites. These spines may have evolved to coincide with the advent of jawed fishes, but nobody really knows. Alas, despite its awesome looks, information on K. brutoni is very, very sparse.




This trilobite just looks badass. You could slap this thing on a heavy metal album cover and it would sell for the sheer WTF. It's one of those trilobites that has spines all over and generally looks like something from Alien. Regrettably, there have been no horror movies about giant trilobites...fund it. We need to break the alien/zombie fad going on.

From here. The price is exceptional for this excellent specimen.

So, what happened to all the trilobites, including K. brutoni? They slowly lost their ecological niches as time went on. Some people think that the last remnants might be horseshoe crabs and certain types of abyssal shrimp. Now trilobites are remembered as the generic "prehistoric bug...." and Kabutops, who remembers that trilobites were once badass.

I'll make YOU extinct!

Creature Feature: Scenella.

Hello, and welcome to another entry set in the Cambrian shallow seas. Before we start today's entry, we would like to remind you all that this blog does not condone the use of psychoactive drugs. That means that everything we post from the Cambrian Period definitely existed. We're sorry if this disappoints any of you.

That said, mollusks with hats.

 

Scenella was one of several strange mollusks in the shallow Cambrian seas. It has been found in Asia, Antarctica, Europe, and North America. There have also been some theories that it was related to floating hydrozoans like the Portuguese man-o'-war, although several things say it's an ancient mollusk. 

Scenella were small, shelled creatures. They often hung around in groups if the Burgess Shale is any indication. They were probably eaten by larger, faster things like Opabinia and Ottonia - both of which are trippy in their own right. Scenella themselves probably ate algae and small bits of debris. In other words, they were the zebra mussels of their time.



Despite probably bearing many similarities to small, modern mollusks, Scenella remains strange. That hat-like shell makes it look like an ancient limpet (which probably could use an entry in and of itself), which would line up with it being a mollusk rather than an oddly-developed hydrozoan. An affinity to gastropods (snails and slugs) is likely due to how the muscles were attached. Show me the evidence for these guys being hydrozoans and we will gladly hear you out.

Remember, kids, seeing things out of your nightmares and acid trips on this blog is A-OK. It's all right in museums and labs, too. If, however, you are walking along and see a troupe of hat-wearing mollusks crossing the road, you may wish to see a shrink.

Creature Feature: Aysheaia.

Soft-bodied invertebrates do not preserve well in the fossil record. Their squishy bits rot away, leaving us with very little to guide us in regards to ancient invertebrate life. When we do find them, however, they usually freak us out.




Aysheaia are no exception. Another Cambrian arthropod from the infamous Burgess Shale, Aysheaia were strange, caterpillar-like creatures 1-6 cm long. They lived in the Cambrian seas right alongside Hallucigenia. Yes, your nightmares now have company.

Aysheaia resembled caterpillars or maggots with ten pairs of legs. If that image is not sufficient to freak you out, each of these pudgy legs had two needles sticking out of it. Finally, there were even more spikes around its mouth. If you're thinking that it resembles a parsnip left in the fridge for so long that it grew legs, you're on the right track.

 

Aysheaia were probably sponge eaters. All fossils of them have been found near sponges. There is not much nutritious about sponges, so it must have needed to spend a lot of time around them. The sponges may also have been providing he caterpillar-worms with protection. It would presumably wander across the seabeds in search of sponges...but that's all we know.

Unlike several other members of the Cambrian seabed, Aysheaia have modern relatives. Velvet worms are one of the oldest types of land-dwelling creatures ever. They are somewhere between water bears and arthropods. Despite being related to two other ubiquitous families, however,velvet worms are limited only to certain tropical regions of the world. More on them tomorrow!

Creature Feature: Hallucigenia.

Happy Thanksgiving! What better way to celebrate Turkey Day than to -



WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!

It's called Hallucigenia. Yes, even science agrees that this creature looks like something out of a bad drug trip. They were first discovered in the Burgess-Shale formation in Canada, which dates back to the Cambrian. There are several species of Hallucigenia, all of which look like something out of the dreams of an escaped mental patient.


Even the actual critter is stoned. 

Luckily for those of us with sanity remaining, they're all dead. These creatures lived alongside many other weirdass lifeforms such as Anomalocaris - a huge (3 foot long, approx. 1 meter), shrimplike creature that was the biggest carnivore at the time. The Hallucigenia were also tiny little things - the biggest was 3 centimeters from 'head' to 'tail.'


Even 'realistic' drawings look like bad trips.

If you just scratched your head at those quotes, you are in good company. Science does not know what to do with this thing. The 'head' has no sensory organs or anything else that would make people definitely call it a head; there also seem to be no locomotive appendages whatsoever. One scientist said, and this is paraphrasing, "OK, let's call this blob the head and assume that this creature walked on these tentacles along the bottom." One can only picture all the other guys in the room smiling and nodding. Other possibilities have been explored, but there is no escaping the sheer trip of this creature.

Nobody knows if Hallucigenia has any living relatives. Velvet worms have been tossed around and disproven. Although there are numerous other "worms with legs," none truly resemble Hallucigenia.  If you want a solid answer, the remaining relatives of this creature probably live in the darkest, wettest corners of your nightmares.

(Ugh. Tomorrow's Black Friday. Lovely.)