They Actually Eat That/A Week of Hogwash: Head Cheese.

Originally, this entry was going to be dedicated to Hormel. Not only are they probably awful factory farmers, depriving piggies of their natural well-being, but they will put everything and anything ham-related into a can. That includes canned bacon and taquitos. Look it up if you're curious; I'm just going to sigh, say "oh, Hormel," and move on to something even more disgusting than canned bacon. 

This is commonly known in the U.S. as "head cheese." It is also called "souse" or "brawn" if one simply must make it sound more classy to offset exactly what sort of meat is in question. As one can probably guess, it is made from the head of the pig, sheep, or calf. It has been around since the Middle Ages as a European peasant food. Gee, I wonder why?

Let's think about that for a moment.  There are plenty of meaty parts on an animal's body. The head is not one of them unless the animal in question happens to be a whale or dolphin. Feel your own head for a minute and imagine someone thinking, "hey, there might be meat, there." You'd probably think they were the stupidest, sickest people on earth, right? So, how does that relatively thin skin even remotely qualify as food?

Hey, remember aspic? How about gelatin? Head cheese is usually in a meat gel like that. The meat around the skull naturally gels that way to some degree. Head cheese can look like perfectly OK loaves of mystery meat (see also: meat glue), or it can look like modern food/art gone horribly wrong. Some people think it looks really beautiful; while I can see why they think that, I do not necessarily agree.

OK, this one from the Houston Press does look nice.

Who would do such a thing? Everybody. China does it, every country in Europe does it, and America does it by default. It's a good way to use up parts of a pig that nobody would otherwise eat, even if it happens to be from the 2nd ring of Hell. If a culture eats pigs, it has head cheese in some form. Now enjoy your 4th of July barbeque if you happen to be in the United States. :)

A Week of Hogwash: Kunekune Pigs.

Pigs are one of the more common domesticated animals on the planet. They have been kept by humans since at least 11,400 B.C.E., and have had two independent instances of domestication. Able to eat almost anything, the Chinese used them almost like a garbage disposal for table scraps. With all that history, we have to have at least one weird pig breed out there...right?

Source. With piggies for sale.

Ta-da! It's a bunch of Kunekune piglets! They are all members of a rare breed from New Zealand. The breed supposedly spawned from Asian pigs brought to the Maori in the 19th century. They are known for being fuzzy, easy to handle, and surprisingly colorful for swine. The word "kunekune" means "fat and round" - an apt name for any pig, really.

Less charming as adults.

There are two main features of the Kunekune: its fur and its wattles. Unlike the more common farm swine, Kunekune are furry like wild pigs. They come in a variety of colors, including black, ginger, and white with black spots. Some Kunekune pigs also have fleshy protrusions called piri piri. They're reminiscent of the wattles on goats, but are kinda rare in pigs.



As this video from Animal Kingdom indicates, Kunekune pigs are very popular at petting zoos. They can also live just fine on grass, as opposed to foraging and tearing up lawns. It helps further that they are miniature by pig standards- they weigh 240 pounds, tops. Yes, that is indeed small for a pig. It also makes them one of the ideal pet pigs if you are so inclined.

Alas, as far as pigs go, Kunekune pigs are rare. The breed went nearly extinct in the 1980's. Breeding programs in New Zealand and the United Kingdom are the only reason Kunekune pigs are still around. If a prospective pig owner can find one, great - they're intelligent (like most pigs!) and easy to train. Just be prepared, unlike a certain member of the Simpson family - Spider-Pig does not a good pet make. 

Bio-Art/A Week of Hogwash: Tattooed Pigs.

Whew, back on track! For the record, me collapsing on Monday nights is indeed normal. Luckily, this week promises to be fun. It's a whole week of hogwash, or awesome pigs you never thought you'd meet.

Belgian tattoo artist Wim Delvoye has found new meaning in life: tattooing pigs. He started tattooing pig carcasses while working at a slaughterhouse, then proceeded to tattoo live, sedated pigs in 1994. There is now a massive gallery of tattooed swine. They are found only in Art Farm China and, occasionally, in museums. 

So, why pigs? "They grow fast and are so much better to tattoo than fish," says Delvoye. It's also nice that we can see the ink on the pigs because their hairs are so fine. As the artist points out, it is also fascinating to see a tattoo on a young pig blossom into a massive artwork on a full-grown hog. Then, when the pig's time has come to go to the sty in the sky, the tattooed skin remains.

Even if you put fashionable tattoos on a pig, it's still a pig.

Interested in having a pig as a pet? How about an inked pig? Art Farm does indeed intend to sell its swine, probably for a pretty piggy penny, somewhere down the line. For now, however, it is possible to buy an inked pigskin or stuffed pig. They are also occasionally on display in various art galleries, so be on the lookout for tattooed pigs in a museum near you.

Or not! Some people have amazingly strong reactions to these pigs, calling the inking a violation of animal rights. Delvoye claims that the pigs actually feel less pain than humans on the skin - in part because pigs were wild at one point and aren't known for having flimsy skin in the first place (think "football"). Regardless, the topic of tattooed swine tends to carry mental outrage in its wake. Unless every single protestor has never touched bacon, however, they are probably just as "hypocritical" as the vegetarian artist is; you do not wanna know what goes on at pig farms where the porkers aren't inked.