Mollusc Week: I've saved the best for last.

Hoo boy, it's been a weird week. Molluscs are strange creatures in general, and picking out exceptionally strange or obscure ones makes them look even weirder. Cephalopods are slowly taking over the world. So, what could possibly top flying squid?

Tell me if this doesn't sound like crack to you: Antarctic oysters that can change sex.

Belongs to the Smithsonian. Yep, that's an oyster, all right.

Lissarca miliaris is far from an impressive oyster.  It's small, unassuming, and lives in a place that most sane people would dare not venture to. If it involves Antarctica and not penguins, people just plain won't go; this says nothing about one's willingness to dive beneath the ice for shellfish. Again, not penguins. Only marine biologists acknowledge this thing's existence.

These weird little oysters follow the same reproductive strategy that tunicates and some fish have: they start out as fertile males, then mature into egg-bearing females. They may also go back to being males when brooding their young. At first, researchers were only looking at breeding females; then they found males with the mollusc equivalent of "junk" as well as eggs. Yep, these little molluscs are genuine, natural, breeding hermaphrodites.

Of course, there is a natural advantage to changing sex. Antarctica is a harsh environment.  The more viable mating partners there are, the better; mating at a young age is also a good idea in such an environ. These oysters have all the reason in the world to be natural transexuals. Why should we think of them as freaks for it?

So yeah. There's your awesome week of molluscs! They solve mazes, stick really hard to rocks, fly, and now change sex! A few of them also taste terrible, but most of them can be seen at your local sushi bar. In case of mollusc world takeover,  prepare the tempura batter and chopsticks.

Mollusc Week: Japanese Flying Squid.

You knewJapan was going to make it on here. Somehow, somewhere, the oceans around Japan, AKA the Weirdness Archipelago, would turn up a mollusc so weird that this blog would have to cover it. Remember, the Japanese culture eats everything it possibly can from the sea; weird is on the menu. One could not expect, however, that Japan would be weird enough to yield baby eldritch overlords.

Baby Cthulhu, AKA the Japanese/Pacific Flying Squid (Todarodes pacificus), is exactly what it says on the label: A squid native to the Pacific Ocean around Japan down to Vietnam that, of all things, flies. All squid are predatory, so if you happen to see one of these hovering above you, your brains may not be safe. Squid have never been known to eat human organs, but there's always a first time. 

Now, like many "flying" animals, flying squid do not actually fly. The extended fins on their mantles are not capable of powered flight. They can glide up to 50 meters to avoid predators; while not impressive compared to arboreal creatures, that's still pretty far for whatever was trying to eat the squid. They also glide looking backwards, a feat that mammals and fish have only thought of in their wildest dreams. Wildest, stoned dreams.

They are, however, jet-powered gliders. The squid gets in the air via the same mechanic that it shoots out ink: jet propulsion. These squid simply get the eff out of the area instead of shooting ink. While this squid may not actually be able to fly, it's closer than most gliding animals simply by having a built-in engine. Rocky the flying squirrel doesn't count.

Worry not. These are small squid that are easily confused for flying fish. They only fly to escape...as far as we know. The cephalopod apocalypse is not near, but if we see bigger squid flying? Godzilla might be necessary. Also, get all the sushi chefs on this, pronto.

Mollusc Week: True Limpets.

As this clip demonstrates, some things in nature are more filmable than others. Guess what? We have to cover at least one boring mollusc here because, hey, it's weird and most of us probably never heard of it outside of science class or a Monty Python clip.

These are star limpets (Patelloida sacchroides). Source here will tell you more.

Meet the true limpet, i.e. any member of the large family Patellogastropoda. As the lengthy name might imply, limpets are related to snails and slugs, and true limpets can only be found on rocky coasts near the sea. The other limpets can be marine or freshwater, and some have even adapted their mantles to breathe air or survive intense conditions around hydrothermal vents. The big difference seems to be who has gills and who has 'lungs,' but there are so many false limpets that there may be more subtleties in the classification than that.  One would think that the false limpets would be far more interesting than the true limpets, which are about as active as presented in the "documentary" and are therefore very rarely covered on television.

Limpets are marine slugs with very odd houses. The shell of a true limpet is like a flat cone, making it blend in very well with whatever rock the limpet sees fit to adhere to. Some stay stuck so long that they get algae growing on their shells. The last time we saw that was with the three-toed sloth; algae is great camouflage.

Not sure how "true" these are. Please correct me if they're fakes. Source.

Limpets make sloths look active. They don't move very much, lest they dry out in the sun. When they do move, it is to scrape off algae from the rocks. This, too, is done very slowly. MOst of them are also under 3 inches long, so not only are they slow, they're small. Yep, that's Grade A documentary material, there.

Here's the kicker: Once a limpet really clamps down, it is impossible to remove through force alone.  The limpet would rather die than leave its rock - seriously, limpets will break if you try to pull them off. It's as futile as trying to pry a hardcore WoW addict away from his computer. They can even adjust their strategy to the type of predator. On the plus side, next time you meet a particularly stubborn person, call him/her a "limpet;" the joke may well be lost on them, but you can laugh to yourself.

And yes, finally, limpets can be eaten. The largest true limpet, the Mexican Giant Limpet (Patella mexicana,), is actually under threat from overharvesting. If limpets are around, people The shells of limpets are also valuable to some collectors, so as long as you can get them off the rock, a limpet can become a gold mine. Consider that every time you need help getting motivated; limpets are awesome once they let go of the rock.

"They Actually Eat That:" Chiton.

There are so many ways that people eat molluscs. Many of them are delicious; molluscs have only mild flavor on their own, so any cream, butter, or garlic makes them taste pretty good most of the time. It should be no surprise that we've tried to eat every squishy thing with a shell, right?

Chiton does not usually appear on menus in the mainland U.S. restaurants. It is, however, quite common in Caribbean and Alaskan cuisine. Native Americans in the U.S. also enjoy chiton. In other words, the main reason this is unusual is because "regular" people in the U.S. have a narrow definition of "food."

First off, I did not mention this in the chiton entry, but chitons can get huge.The Giant Pacific Chiton (or "gumboot"), enjoyed in the North American northwest, can get up to a foot (300 mm) long. A lot of it is guts and shell. Believe it or not, there is relatively little meat in this big thing here:

VIa Wikipedia.

The rules for eating chiton are about the same as eating abalone. This does not mean it is advised; chitons yield very little meat and have tough, rubbery hides. They are usually reserved for times of famine because of it, and please have a Native (no offense, guys) prepare your chiton for you should you still wish to eat one. Oh, and apparently "abalone" is the mollusc equivalent of "chicken;" everything is compared to it. 

Chitons have very interesting shells. They have eyes in there, for example. The last blog entry on chitons talked about how awesome that shell was. Underneath that awesome shell is a blob of meat waiting to be devoured. It should be absolutely no surprise that someone noticed the meat beneath the armor and tried to eat it. It's snail logic, basically.

Chiton: It's like snail, only with even less shell.

Mollusc Week: Giant Octopus + Octopus Wonders.

In the interests of givig xhitons and their squishy brethren their due, this blog proudly presents Mollusc Week! Yes, molluscs are weird, wonderful creatures that inhabit most types of water. They have soft bodies and have shells, not exoskeletons: (Fun fact: If you get a whole squid at a restaurant near a port, they might leave the small, iridescent, internal shell in for you.) Of course, not all of them have apparent shells, like today's number:

The Giant Pacific Octopus (Enteroctopus dofleini) is exactly what it says on the can: a big octopus found in the Pacific Ocean. These particular octopuses prefer temperate waters. Like all octopuses, it is carnivorous, using a sharp beak to snatch and tear fish. The main distinguishing trait of these octopuses is their odd skin, which looks almost like leaves.

So, how giant is giant? The legs on a giant octopus can get 30 feet (9.1 meters) across. They could easily tentacle rape somebody with their arms (which is the correct term), but are by no means the krakens that people love marketing. They are, however, still impressive enough to be among the most filmed octopuses in the world. They never reach the massive sizes of giant squids...as far as we know.

More importantly, however, octopuses (in general)  are the magicians of the sea creature world. They can disappear into the background, escape from almost any prison that isn't entirely enclosed, and, of course, use the classic ink vanishing act. They can also solve mazes and open jars. A lot of octopus feats are better witnessed than described; how does that amazing brain fit through a tiny hole?!


Probably not a giant. Still impressive.

The only limit to an octopus's awesomeness is how big its beak is. In general, they are intelligent creatures who manage to do things that we thought only vertebrates could do. Yeah, chimps suddenly look really boring by comparison, don't they?

By the way, in case you were curious, octopuses make horrible pets. They are very sensitive to their environments, making them strongly affected by climate change and pollution. Also, they are escape artists. Please leave them either in the ocean or to real aquarium experts.