Bio-Art: Cool Things on eBay.

I have a little philosophy regarding any form of art involving animals or their parts: If it isn't real, don't buy it. While I am not an advocate of animal cruelty, a lot of meaning is lost if something like, say, a shark tooth necklace doesn't even have real shark teeth. It's not like shark teeth are hard to find. It's not like real dead bugs or fish are hard to find, either. Luckily, China does a lot of cool things with dead animals, even if some of them are rather morbid.

 OK, so this one isn't a real centipede. Shoot me. Still, I did not know centipedes were in vogue right now. This would be awesome to see with a real bug. Cut up a centipede into,  say, 5 pieces, enclose them all in lucite, and mount them on a leather band like that. That would be hardcore.

Wolf's teeth pendants have also been popping up a lot.I'm not sure how 'traditional' or 'Tibetan' these are, but if they're made of real wolf's teeth, people are sure to snap them up for so many reasons. Don't get sobby on me, wolfaboos; grey wolves are plentiful in most of the world. Besides, I'm sure werewolf fanatics won't use these to attempt sympathetic magic with the wolves...right?

Yes, that is exactly what it looks like: A paperweight with a real dead bat in it. I'd buy it in a heartbeat if they managed to stuff a painted bat in there (Kerivoula picta), but otherwise, no sell. Still a pretty cool paperweight for the inner goth that resides in every cube dweller's soul. Look up Gaofudev if curious.

This has to be one of the weirdest things I've ever seen on eBay, and I've seen a lot of weird things on eBay. Again, that's exactly what it looks like: a paperweight with a cow plop in it. I'm all for bringing some of the country into the city, but that's pushing it. I'm having trouble rationalizing the existence of this. Comment below if you have any good ideas as to why this might have come into being.

Finally, if wearing tribal lizard bracelets or live snakes wasn't edgy enough...how about turtle bling? No? Whaddya mean, "turtles aren't deadly enough?" That's still a fully-preserved baby turtle (red-eared slider) in there.  Surely that counts for something. (This also comes in glow in the dark, by the way.)

Still haven't found that green rose chafer block clock. I'm sure the aquarium mouse I wanted to put up here will resurface as well (ha ha). Next week will get a little more artistic than a lucite paperweight with cow dung in it, I promise.

Creature Feature: Scolopendra gigantea.

Centipedes are one of those bugs that freak non-entomologists right the fuck out. Most people kill them on sight, knowing full well that they are poisonous or just because they're centipedes. They are not overgrown pillbugs like millipedes (at first glance); one look and you know that a centipede is nasty. Out of all the designs in Pokemon Gen V, NOBODY would expect a giant centipede to be popular.

 

For whatever reason, Scolipede, a deer-centipede hybrid, has stolen the hearts of people who do not ordinarily like bugs. It has a design reminding us that Poison can actually be a pretty cool type, has awesome stats, and goshdarnit, myriapods deserved something better-looking than Drapion. If only more Pokemon players knew that real Scolopendra gigantea were just as popular with arthropod fans.



Scolopendra gigantea is exactly what it sounds like: A giant centipede. It can grow up to 12 inches (30 cms) long.  S. gigantea is native to South America (specifically Peru and other northwestern countries) and Jamaica, Trinidad, and Hispaniola. If the next Pirates movie features giant centipedes, you know why.

All centipedes are carnivorous, but S. gigantea exists to remind us that centipedes were once giant land terrors. It is one of the rare centipedes that eats vertebrates at every meal. Frogs, lizards, birds, rodents, and even three distinct species of bat are all on the menu.

 

S. gigantea does, of course, have a potent venom cocktail designed to work on things with spinal cords. Those pincer-like claws, officially called forcipules, deliver a mix of numbing chemicals (including serotonin, histamine, and acetycholine), proteases, and a cardiodepressant. Victims feel chills, fever, and weakness after being bitten. Not fatal, but still sucks.



People who keep giant centipedes as pets have got some serious balls. Feedings can be pretty darn intense; as with falcons and snakes, one likely needs to handle dead rodent carcasses. Even a single drop of venom on one's skin can cause a reaction, so wear protection when handling one. A giant centipede is still of the better venomous animals to keep as a pet.

Now, if you will excuse us, we have a killer Scolipede to train.


Tomorrow: By the way, what's Remoraid based off of?