Wednesday, January 5, 2011

"They Actually Eat That:" "Roppongi."

WARNING: The following entry is for mature readers only. You don't have to be 18 or over; I know plenty of younger furries, for example. I know some of you will read it anyway, but this is one of the few entries that merits such a warning.

We were well aware that Japan liked to eat things that other nations dare not touch. We were aware that they were notorious for weird porn. We were also, on some level, aware that they ate weird porn; after all, these are the people who made pudding that looks like boobs.


Although combining sex and food is nothing new to these people, there are some depths to which most people would rather not sink - even with Rule 34 ruling the internet. Oh, gods, what could these crazy islands possibly come up with that would top live sushi in regards to sadism?

You want to know? Really? Read below if you are over 18 and not easily grossed out. Oh, wait, that's what "They Actually Eat That" is all about!

They Actually Eat That?! 

In Tokyo's lavish Roppongi district, there is a restaurant so secret that it does not even have a name. Menu items cost over 2,000 USD and one has to have an annual income of over 175,000 USD to even go there. It is a very exclusive place.

What could possibly cost that much? Some nigh-extinct fish? Actual mermaid flesh (warning: may cause immortality)? Meat from a Korean woman that was once a bear? Nine-tailed fox tail? Dare I suggest panda flesh?

They're asking for it, really.

How about the chance to bang what you're about to eat?

According to exactly one article translated into English, this secret restaurant (sometimes just dubbed "Roppongi") is rumored to have live dogs, pigs, chickens and goats ready and waiting to be screwed, then eaten. Some Americans are mortified enough that they eat dogs in the East; no doubt the idea of getting jiggy with, then eating a dog would cause those ladies with purse dogs to faint from shock. (Remember, dogs are treated almost like people in the U.S. - there are places that sell fur coats for dogs and doggie birthday cakes. WTF?) If one is a real product of 4chan connoiseur, one can even choose the sex of their dinner.

Like this, only deliberate and far more traumatized.

For those of you out there going "hey, that sounds like fun," the main argument against zoophilia (which has been around as long as people have - not a new thing) is that animals cannot give consent. This makes having sex with animals akin to rape. (The logical counterargument to this is that being a carnivore is not equal to murder, but if we want to use nature as an example, I don't know of ANY animal that not only screws with another, distantly related specie, but eats the victim afterward. Please correct me if I'm wrong.) This restaurant is only for people who have lived such rich, full lives that making out with their dinner is the last thing they can possibly do.

Hell, we're not even sure this place is real. Much of the hubbub around and awareness of 'Roppongi' seems to come from 1-2 articles at most. It sounds like something that someone (possibly a furry) could easily have made up. The thing that really cements its credibility is that cows, horses, and dragons are absent from the menu. Thankfully, so are Pokemon.

Great, now we've made Pikachu cry. T_T

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