"They Actually Eat That:" Red Velvet Cake.

It seems like red velvet is everywhere these days. Baskin Robbins even had red velvet ice cream, at one point. Pink velvet has also become a thing; it's like red velvet, only oddly muted. It's hard to walk down a candy or ice cream aisle without seeing red velvet somewhere.

...it's a thing.

But just what the hell is it? The name seems to be everywhere. Does it really have a meaning?

First off, let's get to what it's not. Red velvet cake is not generic red-colored cake. You don't just put some red food dye into cake batter and call it red velvet. No, you call it bad red velvet with likely really cheap buttercream frosting. Unfortunately, we have tasted red velvet that was indeed that bad - cafeteria stuff, go figure.

The real secret to red velvet is not some super-ultra-chemical made by Starbucks. Beets (i.e, vegetables) and cocoa are the keys to making red velvet anything. How much of each you use depends on the particular recipe. Food coloring is also present in most recipes. There is no best one - just avoid any that look neon red. Point is, although red food coloring is always in there, red cake is not always red velvet.

This IS red velvet.

It's also nothing new. Red velvet cake has been around since at least the Great Depression, when Adams Extracts, a Texan company, propagated red velvet via recipe cards and easy access to food coloring. The most popular recipe actually originates from New York, although some companies still pay homage to the cake's southern origins.  It also usually has "ermine" or whipped cream cheese frosting, making it taste like a cheesecake with less cheese and more cake. Mm.

Is red velvet a fad? Only in that everybody and their mother seems to be copying it. The cake has been around for a while and will likely continue to be popular. We'd like to see someone try and market blue cake as something special- there's a lot of potential, there. 

"They Actually Eat That:" Chimney Cakes.

Some "They Actually Eat That" entries are designed to gross you out. Others are made to show that, hey, we eat crap in America. Others still show that there really is no limit to what humans can eat. Now, however, I am adding a fourth category to this list: Things I have found while walking along Devon Avenue (a place apparently known for a large amount of different traditional stores). This one is not even the weirdest thing I have ever seen there, but it did make me scratch my head a little and go "Huh?"



Chimney cakes take donuts to a whole new level of awesome. They come from Transylvania - yes, really. Dracula's homeland has some awesome pastries. Chimney cakes can also be found in Poland, Sweden, Hungary, and Luxembourg. Please do not ask me to transcribe any of those languages, by the way; the cake goes by different names with similar translations in those areas.

Chimney cakes are cooked like gyros: on a rotisserie over an open flame. The dough is wrapped around a wooden spit, glazed with sugar, then cooked (usually over an open flame) for two hours. They are then sometimes coated with toppings such as cinnamon, Nutella, chocolate sprinkles, coconut, and various nuts. If you are feeling particularly sinful, Chimney Cake Island will turn them into sundaes for you. Yes, really.



Chimney cakes have a unique flavor all their own. They have a crunchy outside and a soft inside - again, sort of like a donut. The dough itself has a slightly nutty flavor that reminds me a bit of challah bread. You eat them simply by tearing off pieces. Warning: This makes them probably the most addictive type of cake around.

By the way? Chimney cakes are delicious. A shop on Devon called Chimney Cake Island sells them (as well as Mitchell's ice cream - a brand from the southern 'burbs). They are probably healthier than donuts, but don't quote me on it. Regardless, if you want a different sort of wedding cake, get a few of these. They're better than donuts and a ton of fun to eat!