Creature Feature: Mexican Mole Lizard.

What do you get when you cross a worm and a lizard? Something like this:


Hola.

The Mexican mole lizard (Bipes biporus) looks like a worm, acts like a worm, and, except for its two foreclaws, looks helluva lot like a worm. Like the tuatara, mole lizards aren't quite lizards. They are about as closely related to lizards as snakes are (which is fairly close), and boy, does it show.

Amphisbaena is the order of lizard-like reptiles (squamates) containing reptiles dubbed "worm lizards." The order name "amphisbaena" comes from a mythical serpent with a head at each end - a surprisingly universal motif in cultures around the world. The real lizards do not have two heads as the name implies, but they are legless and their heads resemble their tails (down to the head barely having eyes in some species). The exception to the rule of this already strange group of squamates is the ajolotes, the group that Bipes biporus belongs to.

'













All ajolotes are found only in Mexico and the lower parts of California. They are carnivorous, burrowing reptiles that use their forelimbs exactly like a mole's for digging. These things look almost exactly like mole paws, but wait. It gets weirder.

Unlike snakes, mole lizards move via peristalsis- the same scrunchy motion that worms use to move. They even have rings around their bodies like earthworms. They live and breed entirely underground and only come out when it rains or is dark, just like a real worm.

You know that giant worm monster that keeps appearing in your nightmares? Now that worms are vertebrates, it's possible, and has evolved killer claws to boot.


The future. Totally. 

Creature Feature: Pink Fairy Armadillo.

If you burst out laughing at the image of an armadillo with a frilly pink tutu, magic wand with a star on the tip or little glassy bug wings, you are probably in good company. "Pink" and "fairy" are not commonly used in the same sentence as "armadillo..."perhaps with good reason.  

OK, so I can see where they got "pink" from. 

The Pink Fairy Armadillo (Chlamyphorus truncatus) resembles a cross between an American armadillo and a mole with a pastel palette. It is  the smallest armadillo - only 4.5 inches (115 mm) long at maximum. This armadillo is native only to the plains areas of central Argentina. It's also just plain adorable, but your mileage may vary.

The Pink Fairy Armadillo is a nocturnal sand-swimmer. When moving, it agitates the sand so that it can swim through it as if it were water. It spends most of its time swimming underground, munching on ants and ant larvae. It can also eat various other small invertebrates and plants. If a predator approaches, it can vanish underground within seconds.



Although not technically endangered anymore, the Pink Fairy Armadillo is still treated as a species worth preserving. Originally, it was listed as such due to habitat loss; now, nobody is sure how many of these armadillos remain. Fairy Armadillos are still protected on both the national and provincial levels. I do not know how the guy above got one as a pet; they supposedly do not live long in captivity.


Damn if they aren't cute, though.

Creature Feature: Tri-Color Milksnakes.

There has not been a snake entry this whole month. Something must be wrong. Time to remedy this!



I swear to gods that snake is not venomous. It does, however, want you to think that it is; tri-color milk snakes (Lampropeltis triangulum, various subspecies) utilize Batesian mimicry, copying the venomous coral snake's banded pattern. The milk snake itself is not venomous; it is a beneficial snake that not only kills rodents, but, like many king snakes, eats other snakes. (If you want to see a California king snake (L. getula) doing what it does best, click this link.) Milk snakes are found in forests and biology books throughout the U.S., parts of Canada, and Central America.


As you can see, this little snake is not venomous. Either that, or the guy holding it is crazy.

It is suspected that, due to the coral snake's fatal venom (thus eliminating any animal stupid enough to touch it), both coral snakes and milk snakes are instead copying a less-venomous species. (This is refuted by the mimicry of other milk snakes to other venomous species; maybe my textbook was outdated and/or wrong. It is, however, supported by the idea that most Batesian mimics copy distasteful/painful species rather than venomous ones. I'm really on the fence, here.) Milk snakes aren't the only ones in on this banded mimicry deal, either; there is one type of caterpillar that bears a striking (...bad pun) resemblance to a coral snake (from Asia, apparently). There are copies of copies of copies of this banded pattern in nature - hint hint, gaming companies.


THIS can kill you.

So, how do you tell the non-toxic snakes from the poisonous ones? If you are from the U.S., you might already know this one: "Red next to yellow will kill a fellow; red next to black is a friend of Jack." There are a few other mnemonic devices, but the basic idea is that red next to black is safe. You can also look at things like band width, but really, it's better to just leave the snake alone. Coral snakes, despite being deadly, are reclusive creatures and prefer not to be disturbed; milk snakes are helpful and should be left to their own devices.



Milk snakes are so called because they are easy to find around barns, and were once thought to suck milk from a cow's udders. Don't try that at home; even though the Greeks and Romans left out offerings of milk for snakes, it really is not good for them and the milk snake cannot suck milk out of cow udders. Plus, what did I say about cows and milk when I did aurochs?

Milk snakes are also popular in the exotic pet trade. Milk snakes can hybridize with corn snakes (a risky venture, given that they even eat their own species), other milk snakes and king snakes for some really trippy combos. More importantly, within milk snakes (especially the Pueblan milk snake), you have albino, tangerine, 'Oreo' and 'Halloween' color morphs.

From Milksnakes.com. I swear I would have self-hosted if Blogger pic hosting was not so slow.

Happy early Halloween, all! I have something even trippier for Halloween Day!

Creature Feature: Tuatara.

Nature often creates things that have more to them than meets the eye. This is one of them:


What? Were you expecting something more spectacular? That is a tuatara, which is, in itself, a whole new group of reptiles (order Sphenodontia). That makes it about as close to lizards as crocodiles and snakes. They're an old line of reptiles. A really old line.

Tuataras are not living fossils. Despite being of a distinctly ancient lineage, tuataras have changed a lot since the Mesozoic. They are, however, the most unspecialized living amniotes; they have hearts and brains like amphibians, only one chamber to their lungs (if you have ever taken a look inside the human body, you KNOW how significant that is), and move more like salamanders than lizards.

They also have surprisingly uniform skulls when compared to their fossil record. Unlike lizards, they do not have ears; they hear more like turtles than anything with external ear holes. Their spines are linked more like that of a fish than that of a reptile. Speaking of, the little spikes on their backs do look classy, don't they?

In other words, the tuatara is one of those things that looks like a duck, but does not quack like one or walk like one. Or have organs like one.



As if tuatara were not freaky enough, they have third eyes. You have a third eye, too, but it is not nearly as sophisticated as the tuatara's. I want you to do something very simple before I go on: Find you pineal gland.


(If you can't find that but know where the third eye chakra is, that's cool, too.)

Right there (relatively, of course), many reptiles have something called a parietal eye. In most species, the eye does very little besides detect light. In the tuatara, it has rods, cones, a retina and other structures your eye doctor probably told you about if you have ever gone in for an eye exam. It probably came from a real third eye. Of all the things to do with a third eye, the tuatara uses it to gather vitamin D from the sun.


I seeee you.


Fascinating though they may be, tuataras are vulnerable. Many of them were wiped out thanks to Polynesian rats. Get the image of a rat in a grass skirt out of your head; rats are a serious invasive species that tends to cause a ton of ecological damage if previously unestablished.

Alas, tuataras are nigh-on impossible to breed in captivity. One of the requirements for a species to be considered domesticable is a reasonable breeding period relative to humans - that is, a higher maturation and reproductive rate than people. The tuatara takes ten years to become sexually mature; they can breed well into their 60's and live over a hundred years. That's right, when humans are having trouble reproducing, the tuataras are having no problems at all. No Viagra necessary!

Creature Feature: Six-Winged Darter.

I can't use this pic 'cause it's copyrighted, but - oh, hell with it. This picture really speaks for itself:

 

Yes, that dragonfly really does have six wings. It is called a Six-Winged Darter or Sympetrum sepenni. It went extinct in Sweden during the last Ice Age, but as of right now is one of the few badass things to ever exist in Poland (along with the aurochs). 

Where badass creatures go to die and/or be resurrected.

Why does this dragonfly have six wings? As one can probably imagine, the wings help it maneuver in the air (although this was not so helpful during the big freeze). They are also used to attract mates; when mating season arrives, the third pair of wings changes color to red/black. Faeries live; deal with it.

Sorry, no pic here.

The Six-Winged Darter is the only nocturnal dragonfly species known to date. It sees infrared wavelengths -i.e. heat vision-  like many insects, so the darkness is not a problem. This dragonfly might be able to hunt in packs, but the reports are so rare that it has to be chalked up to rumor. 

Whatever. It's still awesome. It's also all from one guy's notes, since even Wikipedia does not acknowledge this insect's existence.

Creature Feature: Blobfish.

Oh, crap. That lutefisk stuff you were talking about earlier came to life and mutated, didn't it?

No, actually. This creature is completely natural. The only tampering humans did was to take it out of the water; when submersed, the blobfish (Psychrolutes marcidus) looks relatively normal.


Keyword: relatively.

The blobfish is native only to the abyssal waters around Australia and Tasmania. It lives so far down in the ocean that it cannot afford the luxuries of scales and a swim bladder; instead, it glides through the water, using its gelatinous flesh to keep it from sinking to the ocean floor. It eats whatever floats into its mouth as it drifts along in the water (kinda like some fat people who eat anything that passes by).

This weird fish has all the reason in the world to be miserable: It is likely going extinct. Blobfish drift at the same depths as lobsters and crabs. Although the blobfish itself is not edible, bottom trawling can bring it to the surface alongside far tastier sea life. The area in which the blobfish is known to reside is only about the size of Paris; it would be very, very easy to accidentally over-fish it to extinction.

Normally, I'd be all for wiping out a species that cannot even swim. This poor fellow looks so sad that I cannot help but feel at least a little sorry for it. 


Next time you eat crab, this face will be there to haunt your soul.

(This needs to be a Pokemon before it goes extinct, Nintendo.)

"They Actually Eat That:" Civet Poop Coffee.

Remember how, last week, I said that the fast food industry was trying to rip you off? I didn't even cover all of it. Starbucks and other premium coffee brands are trying to rip you off, too; they're literally selling you crap.

O hai.

Or, well, they would like to. They would really, really like to sell you beans that have gone through the gut of an Indonesian animal called a palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphroditus). The palm civet is a natural coffee afficionado; it only eats the choicest coffee berries.



Of course, the civet craps the leftovers out. People then harvest the half-digested beans; who first thought this was a good idea, I do not know, nor do I want to find out. The enzymes in the civet's digestive tract, and possibly its anal musk glands (which look like testicles on both sexes) as well, make the coffee very flavorful.

They Actually Eat That?! 

Civet coffee ("kopi luwak") is said to have, as per a coffee connoisseur's tongue:

"The aroma is rich and strong, and the coffee is incredibly full bodied, almost syrupy. It's thick with a hint of chocolate, and lingers on the tongue with a long, clean aftertaste. It's definitely one of the most interesting and unusual cups I've ever had." 

Look for kopi luwak next time you are at a gourmet coffee or tea place. If you think Starbucks is expensive, get a load of the price tag on this stuff: $600 per pound or sometimes $30 per cup.  This is a big enough industry to have fakers, so use your tongue instead of your eyes. The University of Florida is working on getting cheaper imitation civet crap in stores, but only time will tell if they can compete with the real McCoy.


"Good to the last dropping!" These coffee growers are also witty. ;)

The civet is not the only coffee-lover whose crap gets harvested. Remember the muntjac, that vampire deer? Coffee comes from his excrement, too. It's all fair-trade, so you can feel good about drinking something that has been eaten once already.