Wednesday, March 21, 2012

"They Actually Eat That:" Bacon EVERYTHING.

Every so often, a chance for "They Actually Eat That" pops up not because the food itself is particularly obscure, but because of how a certain food is used in a certain place. The entry on pork rinds was a good example; indeed, every part of the pig can be used except the squeal. This is one of those entries. The food in question is not particularly odd, but some uses of it sure are!

In this case, that food is bacon. I do not personally eat pork (or any animal on land, for that matter - not that seafood is sin-free), but I have talked to many people who do.  They have a mantra that bacon makes everything taste better.I do not know if that mantra is correct, nor if it will somehow lead one to bacon nirvana. It will probably lead to a heart attack.

Bacon, once seen only as a staple of American breakfasts, apparently has a cult following. "Everything is better with bacon" has been taken to extremes. If foods could have memes, bacon would be going viral. It starts with relatively tame things like bacon macaroni & cheese and bacon burgers, then devolves into bacon desserts. Here are just a few examples of bacon-related craziness:

At least it's still breakfast?

Behold the "bacone:" most of what Americans consider 'breakfast' wrapped in bacon.  I'll let the description on the Bacon Wikia do all the talking: "It consists of bacon shaped into a cone, filled with scrambled eggs, hash browns, and cheese with a layer of country gravy and topped with a biscuit."Apparently it is only around 500 calories.

The Vosges site doesn't like me stealing pics, so I will say it right out: bacon chocolate. 

From Uncrate.

You are not hallucinating. That is, in fact, a combo pack of bacon popcorn, bacon gravy, bacon lip balm ("kiss me, I'm bacon?") and bacon soda. I will not tell you which of those options is the most disgusting.

Not going to lie: This is one of those things that made me laugh, then made me wonder why I was laughing. It scares me deep down. I was, however, waiting for something silly like this to come out of the '08 logo.

At this point, we would not be surprised if bacon spontaneously developed its own religion. It already has its own Wikia and several dozen T-shirts to show one's passion for bacon. It's getting to the point where I wonder if Beggin' Strips ads would work on people, too. Disclaimer: Kuro does not endorse buying dog treats when low on bacon.

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