Creature Feature: Rufous-backed Kingfisher.

Some readers are bound to ask: what's the deal with the URL of this blog? Originally, it was intended to push the boundaries of fantasy and reality, showing how "mythological" things could either be real or have a solid basis in reality. Since this blog has covered phoenix bases in the past, I feel pretty safe putting this little bird up:



This is a rufous-backed kingfisher (Cyex rufidorsa), so named for its reddish back. It's native to Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines. It eats fish, insects, frogs, and reptiles. The bird is small enough to fit in one's hand.  Unlike many entries from steamy rainforests, this little bird is not even remotely endangered. The only threat it faces is a slight decline due to habitat destruction.

The rufous-backed kingfisher does not seem real. It's bright red and purple, like a little phoenix. Its head is disproportionately large compared to its body. The bill is particularly huge. It's adorable and psychedelic. This should be a Pokemon; make it a baby Moltres and it'll sell like hotcakes (pun totally intended).

The rufous-backed kingfisher's appetite is just as extraordinary as its coloration. Thesebirds will hunt a number of things from high perches overlooking water, then dive in after them; that's how kingfishers roll and should be no surprise. What's more surprising is that it's not afraid to eat things twice its size. How does it pack all that fish into its little stomach? Probably very carefully.


There is some confusion when classifying this kingfisher. Another species, Ceyx erithaca, was discovered first. Both are properly "Oriental Dwarf Kingfishers," depending on whom you ask. They also overlap in some areas, leaving one to wonder if there's a difference aside from color. Whatever you call it, it's quite remarkable for a little bird, no?

Creature Feature: Cream-Colored Giant Squirrel.

Any environmentalist  will tell you that every animal alive today has its place in the world. Every single species is a special little snowflake and a piece of a much bigger puzzle. This blog was made to celebrate how wicked awesome other species are. If you've been reading this blog, this paragraph was a broken record to you.

Then there are some animals that make us go, "the fark, nature? Why is this thing still alive?" The panda bear is on that list. So is this:

The Cream-colored Giant Squirrel (Ratufa affinis) is one of those animals. It can be found only in Thailand, Brunei, Indonesia, and Malaysia. It eats seeds, leaves, bark, and insects. It is almost completely arboreal. It is thought extinct in Singapore and Vietnam, making the stamp above very ironic. 

So, let's get some facts down. The Cream-colored Giant Squirrel ("creamy-squirrel") is exactly what it says on the tin: a pale squirrel that is giant. It can get almost a yard long from the tip of its nose to the end of its long, bushy tail, which helps it balance like a tripod while eating. Along with being pale, these giant squirrels are usually boldly marked. The name alone says that this animal should not survive.

Surprise surprise: It just barely lives. OK, so it's not on the Endangered List  yet, but it is near-threatened. These squirrels are easy to hunt and prone to deforestation. As arboreal animals, even sustainable logging might be a threat. What else is new? Well...

Along with human interference, the creamy-squirrel has competition from the giant black squirrel. In most of its range, these two squirrels share habitat. The only place where creamy-squirrel is truly safe is in Borneo, where it is the only giant squirrel. The main difference is that creamy-squirrels do not so much as go to the ground to feed, whereas the black squirrels leave the trees every now and then; otherwise, the creamy-squirrels have no real niche. Regardless of how many enemies the cream-colored squirrel has, I bet this is one of the few times you will ever hear of a squirrel going extinct.

Creature Feature: Paradise Tree Snake.

Flying serpents are one of the staples of mythology around the world. Every place seems to have some sort of sky snake, possibly representing a rainbow. Even the Greeks had a few heavenly sun-snakes that pulled Medea's chariot.  Just ask conspiracy theorists: serpent deities are clear proof of our reptilian overlords, right?

But that's impossible. Something can't fly without limbs, ri- 

What the flying fark?!

That airborne serpent is a paradise tree snake. The paradise tree snake is one of a genus of snakes that can glide. It and its relatives are all native to the rainforests of Southeast Asia. It is a diurnal predator, feeding on birds, rodents, and lizards. It also has a fair amount of predators, being a relatively small snake.

Oh, and it can fly. Technically, it can glide for over 79 feet. Yep.



To those of you who blinked and missed it: To start gliding, the snake The people in this video honestly do a better job of explaining the physics behind this snake's gliding than I ever could, but in layman's terms, how many of you know of flying rings? Yeah, it's kinda like that, only alive. 

As if a flying snake was not enough to scare quite a few people, these gliding snakes are able to steer. To put into perspective how hard this is, other gliding animals with limbs have a hard time steering in mid-air. Precisely because these snakes slither through the sky, they have excellent control.  Cool...if you're a snake person, that is.

Paradise tree snakes are not readily available in the exotic pet trade. They're around, sure, but by no means common. Dietary questions come up; anoles and pinkies are usually the answer. Beware of any of these that you find at herp shows. Even the snake in the video had some nasty parasites. They are also rear-fanged venomous, so please check your local laws before buying!

"They Actually Eat That:" Roaches.

An interesting special was on the news yesterday: China, the most populated nation on the planet, is eating more and more meat by the day. They see it as "revenge" after living in poverty for so long, even though (like American factory farm meat) the meat there is potentially toxic unless you happen to be an elite. This new interest in meat means that China is headed towards more pollution problems, as if they did not have enough already.

Huh. That's funny. In America, we're working on fixing that problem by eating insects. The "impoverished" parts of the world make better use of the bugs around them than we do of the pig, and we make damn good use of the pig. What we and other countries do with cockroaches is especially cool.

First off, yes, Thailand is on this list. Given that China manages to turn anything into cuisine, there is a good chance that you can find them at night markets there, too. (For those curious, I've eaten a few insects; they taste, for the most part, like chicken.)  They are also popular in certain types of African cuisine (including Botsawanan) and Caribbean cuisine. If 50 Ways to Cook a Cockroach actually has any cockroach recipes in it, good on them.

For the most part, cockroaches are still an "eww" food in America, despite being excellent sources of protein. The Titan roller coaster in Texas, however, offers edible  Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches to kids if they want to skip to the front of the line. With entomophagy enjoying a popularity boom, cockroach recipes have also hit the internet and a few restaurants. Careful, though; there are also some recipes for cockroach killer out there. If it can kill an animal notorious for surviving anything, it can kill you.

Now, please note that I am not encouraging you to try eating cockroaches at home. You don't know where they've been; unless you intend to cook them, I can't recommend eating them. Just know that, in the event that you are the only survivor of a nuclear apocalypse, the roaches will still be around while the cows, pigs, and chickens will all perish. Just sayin'.

Creature Feature: Tentacled Snake.

Look at that title. Really, look at that title and use your imagination. There are a million ways to get creative from the title alone. Did a snake do it with an octopus, and is this entry devoted to their unholy lovechild? No. Is it the ultimate in tentacle pronz? No. It's just a water snake that just so happens to have tentacles on its face.

The tentacled snake (Erpeton tentaculatum) is a rear-fanged water snake native to Southeast Asia. It is wholly piscivorous. Its entire life is spent in muddy lakes and rice paddies. Some even venture into seawater.  Unlike some snakes, which come in a rainbow, tentacled snakes are only striped or blotched. Like many water snakes, they have live babies. 

The tentacled snake was not science's most creative naming venture. The most prominent thing about this water snake is that, yes, it has tentacles. These tentacles detect fish better than the snake's tongue ever would. They use a blend of sight and touch - yes, these tentacles loop back to the vision center of the snake's brain. Imagine sticking your tongue out periodically underwater; that is why they evolved tentacles.

The evolution of tentacles is far from this snake's most impressive feat; how it uses them is just as cool as their existence: 



The way the tentacled snake manages to catch the fish is a whole different matter. In the video above, you can see the snake bending its body right after it detects the fish. This motion is enough to trigger the C-start (escape) reflex of the fish, sending it straight into the jaws of death. This snake is predicting what its prey will do next. That's pretty impressive.


Most of us think of the reptile brain as primitive. The revelation that snakes can meter out their venom and the behavior of the tentacled snake above should be enough to make one wonder how intelligent snakes really are. This one just so happens to have tentacles, making it either cooler or creepier. Your mileage may vary, of course.

Bio-Art: Elephant Painting.

Many of us probably see art as a human thing. Creativity is one of the things that make our species special. We probably shouldn't be surprised that another mammal can make art...and it's not a chimpanzee.



Believe what you see: That is indeed a real elephant drawing a painting of an elephant with a flower in its trunk. Six elephants have been trained to paint other elephants at an elephant camp in Thailand. The one pictured here is one of the older females. Cool, isn't it?

Now, let's get a few things straight: the female elephant shown here has been trained to paint. The training took about a month, which is enough to prove that elephants are super-smart animals; say what you will about creativity, but a month is a short time for an animal to learn something. Dogs go to obedience school if they can't learn to sit; elephants can make art in the same amount of time.  It was all done with positive reinforcement, so any elephant-made paintings are humane as well as unique.

Does being made by a trained elephant mean it's not art? Oh, it's art. Elephant-made paintings can be found in a few art galleries. You can also buy prints of them online here. Being human is not longer a requirement for making art, although the abilities to abstract and use opposable thumbs help considerably. (Speaking of, chimpanzees are supposedly HORRIBLE artists by comparison.)

On an artistic note: An elephant could not be a Western artist. One of the key differences between Western art and Eastern art is that Eastern art practices economy of line. Western art seeks to capture every little detail in an attempt to make a photorealistic image; Eastern art would rather use just enough lines to capture the subject's spirit. The elephant in the video could not replicate Van Gogh, but I would say she captured the spirit of the elephant very well.

Creature Feature: Temple Viper.

There is no creature more prevalent in mythology than the snake. If a culture is near snakes, they've got stories about them. The snake is simultaneously hated and revered, cursed and respected. They are so different from humans that they must be magic. No wonder everybody talks about them!

Then there are some serpentine coincidences that cannot simply be dismissed as coincidences. The white snakes in Iwakuni are a good example; Japan is loaded with eagles, cats, and a million other things that would love to munch an easily-visible snake, but there managed to be a lot of Shirohebi in one place. The Temple of the Azure Cloud in Malaysia has a similar, much more deadly tale to tell...

...thanks to being the home of dozens of Wagler's vipers (Tropidolaemus wagleri), AKA "temple vipers." They are native to Thailand, Sumatra, and Malaysia. Arboreal snakes, they eat rodents, birds, and lizards. They are in the same viper group as rattlesnakes, which should give you an idea of how nasty a bite can be.

Temple vipers come in a million different color phases. Some are brown; some are orange; some are bright green. They used to be classified as subspecies, but now they're treated more like morphs. In temple vipers, the females are a lot larger (up to a meter long) than the males, so they're nice and easy to sex, too. Y'know, just in case you want the gender of the snake that bit you.

 I've gone into the neat adaptations of pit vipers before. Their teeth are organic syringes. They hunt you by heat and scent, both things that mammals have trouble concealing. This snake also has camouflage on its side, coupled with a nice strike that can probably catch birds in mid-flight.  The venom is hemotoxic, which is is own brand of hemorrhagic nastiness. On the bright side, I kid you not, some people think this snake's venom has the potential to remove wrinkles. Whatever floats your boat.

So, why are these snakes at the temple? Legend has it that a Buddhist monk decided to give shelter to the snakes of the jungle. Indeed, there are more snakes there than just the temple viper. Some of them have been defanged, but do you really want to risk messing with one that just got its teeth back in? Yes, snake fangs grow back. Just another reason that mammals are screwed by our own global warming issues.

Food Week: Rambutan.

Wait a sec. That's food? It looks like a radioactive hairball, or a pompom that suddenly came to life, or - OK, insert your own here. Point is, if it wasn't growing on a tree, we would have trouble recognizing it as a fruit. Since it is, we must find out if it is edible. Whooo boy is this weird-looking thing edible!

Yes, those red, hairy fruits are called rambutan (Nephelium lappaceum).  They are extremely popular in Southeast Asia and Hawaii. Although the real native range of the fruit is not known (suspected Malaysia and Indonesia), nearly every place in SE-Asia has naturalized rambutan trees. It's related to other tropical fruits, the most common of which in the U.S. of A. is lychee. There is also a weird yellow version grown in Costa Rica, but this entry will focus on the SE Asian versions.

The word "rambutan" means "hairy" in Malay. Indeed, that hairy husk is the most prominent part of the fruit. It is peeled off entirely before eating. Don't worry, it's easier than it sounds. Here's a video if you don't believe me:

 

The fruit itself is almost like a white grape. Inside the meat of the fruit is a pit, again similar to a regular grape.  As with most foods with heavy pits, the pits are cast aside. Eat the translucent flesh however you like. It has a ton of vitaminsand antioxidants in there, but really, this just looks fun to eat.

Rambutan is quite popular in Southeast Asia. There are some 200-odd cultivars to choose from. Some are bright red, some are yellow, and some strains are just plain more awesome than others. Rambutan is also made into jellies and other flavored products. Almost all of the rambutan there comes from Thailand, so if you want it straight from the source, take a little trip to Bangkok. They can usually be found fresh on the branch, already ripened (because they only ripen on the tree).

Unlike tamales, I want to try this. This sounds just bizarre and tasty enough to be worth trying. How many people from the West can honestly say they've eaten a fruit that looks like a pom-pom?

Creature Feature: Hill Myna.

Birds are, without a doubt, nature's original artists. Although some of them may be rather morbid, they had colors before we did (and make better use of them), created music as we know it, and, we aren't even kidding, have complex enough songs that many songbirds have dialects - i.e. even though they're the same species, the songs are so dissimilar that two birds from different areas can't understand each other. Even today, what artist of any discipline has not felt the urge to fly into the great blue on wings or in song? Hell, even the great Beethoven kept a mynah bird.

The common hill myna (Gracula religiosa), or mynah, is one of the most famous talking birds in existence. It is native to South and Southeast Asia, ranging from India to Indonesia, and is most closely related to starlings. There are eight or so subtle subspecies which are mostly differentiated by the wattles on their necks. They eat fruit, nectar, and insects in the wild. There are several other species of mynah, but this is the one that most people are referring to.

Mynahs are among the several birds known for being excellent mimics. In their natural range, they can have anywhere from 3-13 calls per bird. The calls completely change within miles of each other. It's things like this that make us wonder if birds had language before people did, along with nearly every other art form.

So, just how well can mynahs talk? They're amazing. Parrots have a sort of 'parrot dialect' whenever they speak; mynahs have no such thing. If we didn't know that the clip below was a bird, we might've very well mistaken it for a monotonous screenplay:



Mynahs are listed as 'least concern' according to CITES, but populations have been declining in recent years. The only place in SE Asia in which the mynah is not plentiful is Bangladesh, due to both habitat destruction and over-hunting for the pet trade. They are so easy to breed otherwise that they have established feral populations in Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and Australia (with disastrous results). If you do want a myna bird, I'm sure there are people breeding them in captivity in the States, and several farmers in India have learned the right time to take the young out of the nest in the wild. Who knows? Get a mynah bird and you might write the next great symphony.

Let's Go Spelunking!: Waterfall-Climbing Cave Fish.

As hinted at in yesterday's entry, cave creatures can get pretty darn creepy. They often have pale skin and no eyes- usually enough to create a terrifying effect by themselves. They use senses that are either diminished in humans or completely absent. Troglobites (creatures that live in caves) are about as close as we can get to aliens on earth.  The deepsea abyss is a close second, of course.

Enter the first of the animals this week that will both terrify and fascinate you: the Waterfall Climbing Fish (Cryptotora thamicola).  It makes its home in a special type of limestone cave called a karst. It eats biofilm (i.e. that grimy stuff you might find in pet dishes) off of rocks in the darkness. Native only, and we mean only, to Thailand, it is darn near impossible to see in the wild. I don't think there are any captives, so very little is known about these fish indeed. It is also called the "cave angel fish."

The Waterfall Climbing Fish exhibits many traits common to most animals that spend their lives entirely in caves. It's blind. Its skin is white and slightly translucent. It sends chills through your soul because it looks so much like a regular fish, but not. Welcome to cave life!



Then the Waterfall Climbing Fish takes the weirdness up a notch by making Christians commit mass suicide: It climbs with its fins. Although not truly lobed like the fins of lungfish or coelacanths, the waterfall fish's fins are indeed able to move like feet. In that light, it's also interesting how these not-limbs are positioned (the actual 'body' of that fish isn't that long - on most fish, the hind fins would be way farther back). Give it a few millennia and we may well get an eyeless lizard that has evolved completely independently from all other reptiles. Darwin was right.

There is no endangered status for this fish, but it's so rare that it's listed as vulnerable. There is likely not enough data to truly classify it as endangered. However, nearly all freshwater ecosystems are extremely fragile; there's no reason a single cave in Thailand should be an exception to that. It probably does deserve to be on the endangered list if it's that rare.

NIPAH: When a meme goes viral.

Raise your hand if you know at least one internet meme, You know, those pics, videos, and crazy phrases that get emulated over and over? That is what we mean.  Such memes are said to have gone 'viral' if they are played with enough.



Well, it turns out NIPAH! is an actual virus. Who knew?

OK, so technically, the Nipah infection virus (NiV) is a virus of the Henipavirus genus. The only other known member of this genus is the Hendra virus. Nipah is native to Southeast Asia (virtually all of it), India, and Africa,  and could get really dangerous really fast. Despite its cute resemblance to an internet meme, it is named after a village in Malaysia that we hope has gotten tourist business from its similarity to Rika's catchphrase. It was named in 1999.

Nipah virus is nowhere near as fun as its name might suggest. It all starts with contact with coughing (or "barking") pigs. Then it escalates into flulike symptoms of fever and muscle pain. Then it moves on to inflammation of the brain and, in worst cases, comas and death. Twirling and repeating the word "nipah" is not a symptom; if you experience this, I suggest checking for Hinamizawa Syndrome instead.

I wouldn't touch that pig if I were you.

The main vectors of the Nipah virus are fruit bats.  Every place in Southeast Asia, from India to Vietnam, has fruit bats, and Nipah could be in any one of them. The bats themselves have antibodies to the virus. The virus can also be found in the urine and saliva of fruit bats. It should be common sense to avoid fruit that's been partially-eaten by gods-know-what, but someone must be silly enough to try it. The bats were probably as close and contagious as they were thanks to habitat destruction; chalk up another fail tally for humanity.

Nipah virus is a real threat. It can spread from virtually any mammal to another. It has already hopped from bats to pigs, leading to million-dollar losses for the farming industry in Malaysia. It can cross from humans to pigs just as easily as it can from bats to pigs. Oh, and it's mutating - just like a real meme- so whatever we come up with might not work in the near future. This thing attacks anything with hair, remember.

Image (c) Higurashi.

Nipah!- the only meme that turns villages into ghost towns.

"They Actually Eat That:" Basil Soda.

Soft drinks are an underrated part of culture. Although the world is quickly becoming homogenized by Coke and Pepsi, there is always a niche market for indigenous soft drinks. It may sound totally silly at first, but you are what you drink just like you are what you eat.

 

Enter the basil drink made by DeDe. It's not carbonated soda insofar as I can tell, but it's still liquid tooth rot that isn't juice or coffee, so I hope nobody minds my use of the term. Besides being outright strange to look at, if my Japanese teacher is telling me correctly, this also falls under the "things found on Devon Avenue" category. She was the one who got me the bottle above; praise her. There is also a Central American market of some sort that I need to check out, but I digress.

Those little dots in the soda are not strange, alien spawn; they are basil seeds.The seeds swell in the water, making them look like eggs. They have a texture reportedly like the tapioca or eating watermelon (those strike me as different textures, but whatever). Hopefully, I will be able to find out for myself!

Most of us would not consider putting basil seeds in a soda. Drinks with basil seeds are, however, a common part of Thai cuisine, so it's no shock to find them in a Thai soda. Check out your nearest Asian or Middle Eastern grocery store for this exotic soda; my teacher says it's surprisingly good. Most online reviewers seem to agree. Chances are I'll hunt this one down and see what it's like. 

 

There are a number of exotic sodas on the market. If you guys know of any more, please don't hesitate to comment. I don't mind tooth rot if it's for science!

Creature Feature: Burmese Python - Part 1.

Anybody watching this blog for more than a few weeks knows that I am a snake fanatic. So, of course, I have my own opinions about the latest update to the Lacey Act. As per the revision to the Act, one of the most popular snakes ever, the Burmese python (P. molurus bivittatus), is prohibited from crossing state lines. I personally think it sucks, but also see where the ban is coming from.

But this is not about me. This is about facts. It's about time I spilled the beans about one of my favorite snakes ever in as unbiased a manner as I possibly can.



Burmese pythons are the most notorious and popular giant pythons in existence. They are native to South-Southeast Asia. They can get up to 20 feet long, making them the largest subspecies of Indian python, and have more girth to them than retics. Burmese pythons are usually the go-to "big snake" due to their size and gentle temperament. When someone mentions the word "python," Burmese are the ones that usually come to mind.

If you have ever seen a giant snake on TV or in a photograph, there is a very high chance it was a Burmese python. (Interestingly, Harry Potter's Nagini is an exception; the last time I saw her, she was a retic.)  Burms are the giant snake of choice for many model shoots, TV shows, and art projects. They're big, but are mostly docile.  Unless you happen to smell like a rabbit or otherwise be very stupid, there is a slim chance that a Burmese python will bite you. The people who keep Burmese pythons usually love them to death. (Don't take that literally.)

Burmese pythons are usually the first big snake everyone gets. They may get up to 20 feet, but most stop at around 10-12, which is a bit more manageable. Retics have a (now mostly undeserved) reputation for being aggressive; anacondas are aggro and have hard husbandry requirements. Burmese pythons are easy to keep and, usually, as docile as kittens. Feed and breed them right and you might even be able to make a small profit off of them. If ball pythons are the general ideal pet snake, then Burmese pythons are the ideal big snake.

The leucistic Burmese - so rare it was once called mythical. Then it got proven to be the super form of a hypo. Yes, I know that's probably all Greek to you. It IS Greek.

Therein lies the problem: Many Burmese python owners are irresponsible in one way or another. If all of them kept their Burmese pythons in nice, custom-designed cages, or even secure sweater boxes, that would be great. This is one of those cases where irresponsibility can cost you dearly. Here are the top three reasons why Burmese pythons - snakes that deserve at least as much respect as any large dog or wildcat - tend to wind up with bad owners.

1. People simply don't do their homework. Burmese python babies are adorable, somewhat cheap, and overall a tempting impulse buy. That mouse-eating baby will grow up into a 10-12 foot serpent that can easily swallow a chicken whole. People who do not know crap about Burmese pythons usually wind up either giving their pets to a zoo/rescue or just plain releasing them. Bad situation.

Well, the author thinks they're cute...

2. There is also the simple case of biting off more than one can chew. Some people may know how big Burmese pythons get, but might not be able to take care of them in the long run. Big snakes make big messes, need big cages, and eat big food. How many people do you suppose can afford that for 20-25 years? I have asked people who either have Burms or know about their husbandry; they are costly to keep (especially if you go all-out) and require two people to handle safely. In other words, you will probably have to find a snake-tolerant roommate/lover if you intend to handle big snakes.

3. Sellers of Burmese pythons know full well that they are selling monster snakes, and fail to ask whether the customer knows how big Burms get in hopes of making a sale. Some people can start off just fine with Burmese pythons; others, not so much. A responsible snake owner should at least ask about husbandry requirements unless they have had that same species before. "How big does it get?" should be the next question.

Put it this way: If you do not know your stuff before getting a Burmese python, there is a very good chance your house will be on the news. Escaped snakes get ratings. Burmese pythons have been known to eat neighborhood pets. In one recent instance, a Burm killed the owner's daughter because the owner had a blanket as a cover on the cage. Burmese pythons can be awesome snakes, but you really have to know what you're doing. Ill-aimed bites from these snakes can lead to stitches.

Recently, Burmese pythons have been spotted in the Florida Everglades. This was largely due to a hurricane causing mass-escapes of Burmese pythons from personal collections. (Read: Not ALL of theme were released deliberately.) There, Burms have been not only eating wildlife in an already-fragile ecosystem, but have also been completing with alligators as the apex predator. Florida has all the reason in the world to ban the Burmese python. Here's a quick rundown as to why:

1. Burmese pythons compete for prey with native American alligators. Since alligators are among the most popular residents of Florida, not to mention part of the fragile Everglades ecosystem, any threat to their well-being is taken seriously.

The classic "exploding snake" pic, illustrating the point quite nicely.

2. Burmese pythons have an extra edge over alligators: They can very easily outbreed them. A Burmese python clutch can contain over 80 eggs. In nature, the ones who breed the most usually survive, so there is a very high chance that we will be seeing a lot of pythons. Sorry, the 'gator will probably lose.

3. See the ways that Burmese pythons can get out or otherwise be troublesome up above. No offense to all of you responsible keepers, but some not-so-hardcore snake lovers just want a big python because it's cool.

4. The reptile breeders kiiiinda brought this one upon themselves by having one of the largest reptile conventions in Florida. To be fair, Southern states tend to have extremely loose pet laws, so both parties are to blame.

But wait, the Lacey Act covers rest of the country, too. Isn't that a little harsh? Yes and no. My Environmental Sustainability teacher had a good explanation as to why the Burm got the Lacey Axe.

A caraBurm!

First of all, yes, Burmese Pythons could probably only survive in Florida. It just so happens that Florida has the perfect environment for them - hot and humid, just like Southeast Asia. I have heard some horror stories about Burms possibly making their way north due to either hibernation capabilities or global warming, but those are both more or less speculation. I have heard studies going either way. For now, treat it as mostly Florida's problem.

Even after the Lacey Axe, it would still theoretically be possible to smuggle a Burmese python from another state  into Florida. I have heard something about all Burmese pythons in Florida needing to be registered, otherwise the owner will be in big trouble. I would imagine that, if any Burms escaped in Florida, things would also get pretty hairy for that person. Avoid Florida like the plague, Burm fans.

Python owners believe that the update to the Lacey Act will be the end of the reptile trade as we know it. That is not true. You will still be allowed to keep your snakes. You will definitely still be allowed to trade within your state. Even if you do try to trade in other states, this act is all but impossible to enforce with snakes (as opposed to large mammals, which require huge trucks for transport).  The only thing it is really stopping you from doing business is sending Burmese pythons through the mail. Will it cripple the trade? Sure. Stop it? Certainly not. Still a waste of taxpayer dollars? Most likely.

Reptile keepers have the deck stacked against them when it comes to legislation. A lot of people fear snakes.  Every time a giant snake owner screws up, it makes the responsible owners look even worse. That is what leads to legislation like this. Education is key.

As for my personal thoughts on the Lacey Axe? Yes, the ban sucks, but there are worse bills out there. Worry more about the government tracking your every waking move and probably some sleeping moves, too. It will be a lot easier for them to catch you with giant snakes if they have cameras everywhere. The giant snake laws are just a distraction. Nowhere in the Constitution does it mention giant snakes. Worry about things like free speech first.

(Mmm...still so much I wanted to add.) 

Creature Feature: Large Flying Fox.

Well, Halloween is fast approaching. So too is the freaky Theme Week starting on Halloween. You all have waited very patiently for it, so prepare for a horror the likes of which you have never seen before! *Insert evil laugh here.*

Until then, we have a classic fixture in Halloween decor: A giant bat.

This is NOT a sparklebat.

 

This particular bat, a Large Flying Fox (Pteropus vampyrus), is the largest bat in the world. It is also called the Malaysian Flying Fox, Greater Flying Fox, or Kalang. It is native to Thailand, Indonesia, Malaysia, and the Philippines. There are many species of flying foxes, but they all have a few things in common: They have almost doglike faces, cannot echolocate, are usually threatened, and can scare the excrement out of small children.



Don't let the "vampyrus" in its name fool you- these bats do not suck blood and are definitely not vampires in disguise. Megabats like the flying fox feed on nectar and fruit. The bats serve as pollinators in their native habitat, meaning that the giant bats have the same ecological function as bees, butterflies, and hummingbirds. One of those things is not like the others, but hey, whatever works.

The Large Flying Fox is, well, large. Although it weighs only 3 pounds, that's a lot for a bat. It also has a wingspan of up to 6 feet. They eat in groups of up to 50 individuals and are very noisy; put together an image of 50 giant bats all in the same place for some real Halloween material!

From Superstock! :D

 

Due to much of its habitat being in danger, the Greater Flying Fox is considered near-threatened. Farmers may kill them, seeing them as crop pests. There's another reason for this bat's sudden decline in population, but, well...let's save that for next week.

Creature Feature: Atlas Moth.

Moths are underrated. Sure, everybody loves butterflies, but moths? Moths are the sneaky cousins of butterflies that hang out at night, eat your carpets as larvae, and don't have pretty colors. People make gardens to attract butterflies, but get all sorts of foul-smelling treatments to remove moths. Hell, a moth wound up on the cover of Silence of the Lambs. You could not do that with a butterfly.

This does not mean that moths cannot be interesting, beautiful creatures. Most folks will say that luna and comet moths look almost like butterflies, for example. Hummingbird moths look like little tiny bird-bug hybrids. Then there's this magnificent specimen, actual size not properly viewable on this blog:

So here's the moth compared to human hands.

The Atlas Moth (Attacus atlas) ranges from India to just above Australia. Its English name comes from its size or the wings resembling a simple map; its Cantonese name, "snake's head moth," comes from the weird tips on its forewings. The caterpillars are fond of several pleasant trees, including cherry and cinnamon. They do not eat at all as adults.



The Atlas Moth has the largest surface area of any lepidopteran. It may be outmatched in wingspan by another moth, but the wings are, we kid you not, as wide and high as a dinner plate (anywhere from 10-12 inches). This leaves the Atlas moth with 62 square inches of surface area to boast about. Females are larger than males, by the way, making all record-holders in this species women.



As if size was not enough to make this moth interesting, people have found uses for its silk as well. The silk is broken in Atlas Moths, but is nonetheless used to make Indian Fagara silk - said to be sturdier than most others. In Taiwan, women use the cocoons straight to make pocket purses. Stop complaining about moths; they make silk.

"They Actually Eat That:" Shark.

Wait. What? What the hell are sharks doing here? Sharks are the undisputed, murdering psychopaths of the ocean. The appearance of a shark fin is usually a sign to get the eff outta the water. They can't be an aphrodisiac, what with concealed junk and all, so what the hell are they doing on this column?

Silly. Humans will put ANYTHING in their mouths. Sharks wind up in nets just like other fish do. Of course they get eaten.

 

Or, well, their fins get eaten. Shark fin soup is the main shark dish that gets environmentalists in a tizzy. It is, of course, found in China and several other places that carry on Chinese traditions (such as Thailand). Since the fin has no flavor of its own, the broth and other ingredients make the soup palatable.

The fin is said to have numerous health benefits, including helping the lungs and kidney function properly. It also has a unique texture somewhere between crunchy and chewy. The soup is served at banquets, weddings, and business meetings as a show of respect to guests. It is popular enough to make a dent of 70-90% in many shark populations.

The kicker: Only the fins are used in the soup. The rest of the shark is tossed into the ocean, fully alive but unable to swim. Other little fishies probably say "serves you right!" and spit on the shark's rotting, finless corpse as they swim by. Considering this is coming from China - the place that eats all sorts of animal parts - this wastefulness is especially shocking. Plus, killing off apex predators isn't cool.

Shark meat is not nutritious. Cuisine or not, it contains very high levels of mercury, just like eagle meat would have contained tons of pesticides during the DDT days. The bigger the fish, the more mercury it has. Bioaccumulation. Learn about it.

Creature Feature: Archerfish.

There is a certain attack in Pokemon called "Water Gun." It's one of those attacks that makes one wonder exactly why it does damage. It's not like a stream of water can hurt anything, right?


String Shot will be used another day.

OK. Maybe a pressurized stream of water can knock wild bugs into a pond, where the marksman can then snap it up. That was one of several fish called archerfish; they are a from the genus Toxotes and are related to perch. Archerfish can be found in the mangrove ecosystems and other freshwater areas in India, Australia, and the Philippines.

This does not look nearly as good as a still image.

Archerfish make human snipers look lame for using weapons. They have a hollow groove in their mouths that they use like the barrel of a gun. Closing their gills pushes pressurized water through this groove; archerfish are usually able to hit prey on the first shot. It takes practice, but the fish figures it out pretty fast. Even if the first shot fails, the fish tries again.

The precision of this water shot is even more amazing when one considers how hard it is to shoot from beneath the water. Ever try to catch a fish swimming beneath the surface of a moving body of water? It's pretty darn hard. Now try catching a tiny little insect from beneath the water with a squirt gun. There are some seriously impressive visual capabilities and physics involved with every shot the archerfish makes.

The archerfish as a textbook physics example.

Archerfish will shoot at anything that glows and/or moves. That may seem a little stupid, but it's still pretty impressive for a fish. They will also leap out of the water and eat bugs that just so happen to be nearby, but that is not nearly as awesome as their built-in squirt guns.

Water Gun: It's super-effective!

Tomorrow: A frog with...WHAT THE HELL? What did this frog do to its back?!

Creature Feature: Kissing Gourami.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! Go out and buy some chocolate, cards, and a Kama Sutra. Oh, and don't forget those adorable kissing fish!

 Kissing gouramis appear in nearly every Valentine's Day montage ever. The green kissing gouramis are from Thailand; the pink ones, Java. In a nutshell, they are omnivorous fish (do NOT put a gourami in with smaller fish) that kiss.



"Aww, how cute! Those fish are kissing!"

Kissing in gouramis does not mean the same thing as it does in humans, much like smiling in chimpanzees is a hint that one might get one's hand bitten off. The puckered lips in kissing gouramis are tipped with teeth; a kiss is not nearly as friendly in these fish as it is in humans!

Kissing can be seen as a form of sparring between fish. There is nothing cute about it and no way to guarantee that you are getting a male and female couple. Although there is no "kiss of death," being kissed too much may cause the mucus coat on other fish to deteriorate, leaving them open to infections. Ouch.

Pucker up! Hey, it's a tradition to kiss the first fish one catches, anyways.

Speaking of, no matter how adorable these fish may seem, do not impulse buy them. Much like Burmese pythons and green iguanas, kissing gouramis start small, but will quickly outgrow their tank if the owner is not aware of how big they get (anywhere from 20-30cm/7.87-11.81 inches). They are a lot harder to take care of than goldfish because they are omnivores; give the new 'couple' a gourmet meal to work with, including both lettuce and live food. Leaving algae on the side of the tank must be like parsley garnish to them. Bon appetit, fishies!


Tomorrow: BEWARE THE VAMPIRE MOTH!

"They Actually Eat That:" Scorpions.

We cannot top pica. Period. The only thing that can top a disorder that makes people stuff everything in their mouths are the people who can digest everything. Those individuals are few and far between, but they might make it onto this blog if we ever do an "X-Men Week." Professor Xavier has a human goat somewhere in his school, right?

 

For now, back to China. Sure, it's not as intense as snake venom medicine, but eating scorpions is still pretty darn weird:




Oh, China. If we ever need any more weird food ideas, we know where to turn. 

Eating scorpions is about as popular as eating/drinking venomous snakes for the exact same reasons: It takes balls to eat something with deadly venom and doing so makes one some sort of insane sex god. Hell, scorpions are often added to snake wine, in itself a knockout aphrodisiac.


If you drink this stuff and LIVE, you deserve to get laid.

This one is actually not restricted to China. People in Thailand and Afghanistan also eat scorpions. In North Africa, they are often used in folk medicine. If you really, really want to try scorpions without learning Chinese, eHow has a handy guide on how to catch your own edible, venomous arachnid. It is still not recommended.

Creature Feature: Flying Frogs.

Speaking of things that should not fly but do...



Flying frogs (family Rhacophoridae) glide (again, not fly) using the webbing in between their REALLY long toes.They live in the more tropical regions of Asia, including China, Laos and Vietnam. (Why is everything I like from Asia? I swear, I didn't know that was where flying frogs came from!)  The earliest reports of flying frogs came from Alfred Russell Wallace, who got the largest species (Rhacophorus nigropalmatus) named in his honor.



Wallace's flying frog exhibits several traits that make it aerodynamic: its limbs are a LOT longer than those of the average frog; its body is narrow; finally, get a load of those winglike feet!

Wallace's flying frog is not only the largest flying frog, but the most photogenic; the markings on its webbed toes look almost like something off of a dart frog's body. Before you all bitch that there is probably an adaptive drawback that keeps the frog from moving, each of its long toes is also tipped with a suction cup. It can climb just fine and escape from tree snakes via the awesome gliding flaps.

(They also have cool eyes.)


As the video said, there are also extreme kamikaze frogs that jump for their lives when faced with a tree snake. These can be found all over the world; Old World flying frogs like Wallace's are different from the New World treefrogs in that they DO have those amazingly huge flaps for gliding. The ones in the New World are more like the second frog shown in that video.



Don't worry! You'll get there, someday! Keep flying, froggies! :D