Creature Feature: Maned Wolf.

Aww, wolves! The internet either loves or hates wolves, now.  If you love wolves, you're in good company; people will gladly roleplay wolves and/or werewolves with you. Hate them, likely due to the sheer romanticism, and a million users with "wolf" in their names will be down your throat in a torrent of furry fury. Try to look at the wolf without any bias, and you'll still have plenty of friends, but it's like carrying a match around in a room of dynamite. Wolves are cool, and I respect them as much as I do any other animal.

Wait a minute. That is not a wolf. That is a mutant fox.

Actually, it's a maned wolf (Chrysocyon brachyurus). They are only loosely related to the "regular" wolf and slightly closer to the common red fox. Maned wolves can be found over much of South America, where they are the largest wild canid. By the way, they're carnivores, eating small animals such as rabbits, mice, and fish, but roughly half of this canine's diet is vegetable matter. Figure that one out.

The maned wolf is almost a species isolate. Its closest relative, the Falkland Islands wolf, went extinct in the late 1800's. The bush dog, also from South America, is the next best thing. Both of these canids are exotic and interesting enough to merit their own entries. There are plenty of wonderfully weird canids out there, yet most will not think outside foxes, wolves (including the domestic dog), and occasionally coyotes. Canids like the maned wolf are eye-openers to how interesting the family really is.

These wolves do not behave like gray wolves at all. They hunt solo. Those long legs are an adaptation to grasslands, unlike the stocky, cold climate build of the gray wolf.  They have a mane to buff up their profile if threatened. This is not the wolf we know; it's its own creature. Watch someone make a fursona out of it and get slammed by wolfaboos.

Snap, they're coming! Pic found on Wiki.

Along with looking bizarre, the maned wolf smells funny. It has also been called the "skunk wolf" because the scent is so distinct. Both sexes talk with their urine; a lot of animals talk with urine, but this urine has a very distinct scent. Thanks to a chemical in the urine (likely a pyrozine), the wolf tends to smell like hops, the plant used for beer, or cannabis, AKA weed. In short: These are already party animals, if the smell is any indication. The police have been fooled at least once by the scent.

The maned wolf is considered near-threatened. In the past, it has been suspected as a threat to livestock, particularly chickens. Its eyes were once considered good luck charms; one can only wonder where this idea came from. Measures by the Brazilian government have since alerted people that the wolves are not a threat and should not be hunted for their eyeballs; feral dogs remain a threat. There are a number of good captive breeding programs, so this odd canine will be around for many years to come. They are possible to keep with the proper licenses, but ask yourself: do you want your house to smell like weed and beer?

Creature Feature: Dwarf Fox.

As the previous entry hinted, low temperatures means relatively poor biodiversity. This makes a good portion of North America a wasteland compared to say, a rainforest. Does this mean we're completely bereft of unique, amazing creatures? Of course not. Here is just the thing to make you all feel good before Monday:

That is a dwarf fox, AKA island fox. It is native to exactly 6 of the 8 Channel Islands in California, with a unique subspecies for every island. Small predators eat small prey, like rodents, crabs, and fish. Interestingly, they can be found active during both day and night, depending on season.

Yes, these foxes are small. They weigh 6.2 pounds, tops. They are frequently smaller than a house cat. Invasive species not withstanding, they are the largest land animals in the Channel Islands. It's the biggest fish in a small pond with very small fish. That's insular dwarfism for you.

Science has proven that wolves have the closest thing in nature to a human family, but dwarf foxes give wolves a run for their money. They stay with one partner all their lives, and their young stay 1-2 years with mommy and daddy. Next Valentine's Day, make your lover a card with dwarf foxes on it. It'll be even cuter if you explain that these foxes are monogamous and keep their kits for a relatively long time. 

You know what makes these guys even more awesome? They're living proof that humans can restore endangered species if they really try hard enough. I detailed the decimation of the bald eagle roughly a year or two ago; the baldies around the Channel Islands were keeping the foxes from being eaten by golden eagles, who are larger. Like on many islands, feral domesticated animals were also at fault; these were eventually removed via hunting programs. Canine distemper cut one population by 90%. The fox was driven to numbers as low as 15 in the 1990's.

Today? 2,500 dwarf foxes. Conservation efforts did these little furballs wonders. The species is still listed as critical, but that recovery is amazing. That should brighten your day....now get back to work. ;)

Creature Feature/Mythbusting: WOLVES.

There is no animal more polarizing than the gray wolf, Canis lupus. Either you love wolves or you hate them. It is virtually impossible to find somebody with a neutral opinion on wolves. Well, lucky you: that's what this blog is attempting. Let's establish the various reputations that the wolf has had through the ages, shall we? Then we'll bust them like balloons in a shooting game.

The wolves in question are always some variety of Canis lupus. This species ranges from North America into Europe and Asia. They are carnivores and survival machines, hunting in packs and running prey down until it cannot keep moving. Unbeknownst to the wolves themselves, they have also left quite a mark on the human psyche.

GRRR! (Source.)

If you were born before the internet was a thing, you probably still have some remnant of the Fairy Tale Wolf stuck in your psyche. This is the wolf that ate Little Red Riding Hood in one gulp and was also trying to go after the three little pigs. This is the wolf that can walk as a human during the day, only to become a feral, man-eating canine at night. Oh, and bar abnormal conditions (humans threatening them, disease, humans threatening them with diseases), these wolves don't exist.

Let us make this very clear: Wolves do not hunt people. At least, not under normal circumstances. They would much rather avoid Homo sapiens sapiens as much as wolfishly possible. Domestic dogs attack humans more than wolves ever will. If you want to count the two as one species, as I'm prone to doing (they can screw each other just fine), then yeah, wolves are serial killers. If not, wolves are terrified of humans. We're just silly and make the fear mutual.

What wolves will attack is livestock. That is what makes them a threat to humans. By and large, they will avoid humans, but we've entered their territory - with food at that. It's like someone with a pie suddenly coming over, only you, the owner of that house, are not allowed to have any of the pie. Kinda rude, isn't it? These pies are fat, slow, and docile, too. Yes, humans are dickish to many species, wolves included.

WolfJesus died for your sins! (Source.)

Then there's the equally-wrong flipside of the coin. There are wolf fans who treat the wolf like it is some sort of sacred animal that should be prized above all others. This has varying degrees, from people who simply have wolves as their favorite animals to people who roleplay their wolfsonas like humans. The general idea is that wolves are almost exactly like humans with fur, if not idealized humans with fur. These wolves do exist, but certainly not how you think they do:

A little reminder: We do not know, 100%, what goes on inside a dog's head. Dogs have the longest history of domestication of any animal, and there's still too much foreign about them for us to say that we truly know how they tick. If dingoes are any indication, dogs can revert back to wolfishness, and then some, in a surprisingly short amount of time. Wolves do not eat babies. Dingoes do, or at least can.

With that in mind, imagine how little we know and understand about a canine that is perfectly content to live its life without ever touching humans. That is how far wolves are removed from humans in terms of behavior. Rabid wolf fans ("wolfaboos") are often guilty of anthropomorphizing. It's a common crime that has led to mental train wrecks in dogs around the world.

Yes, it is very true that wolves have been persecuted. (I'm not fully sure whether they count as the most unfairly persecuted animal ever; bats, snakes, rodents, and insects could easily give them a run for their money.) Yes, they form family units like humans do. There're some theories out there that wolves may have taught primitive humans how to hunt in groups. That does not make them humans with fur.

If you want a human with fur, you want a dog. As in, a domesticated wolf. Wild wolves do not want to so much as make eye contact with humans. Even dogs have different rules from humans, but they are closer than wolves in that regard. Dogs can mate at any time of year with relative freedom, just like humans; in a wolf pack, only the alpha male and female are allowed to mate. Every wolf wants to get laid, so there are always challenges for dominance. Any wolf lover who acts unaware of wolf rank is kidding themselves.

So, what wolf should you be looking for? The "scientific wolf," as the Field Museum put it.  Look for neutral facts. Read up on why wolves and other apex predators are important to the environment. See some wolves at Big Run Wolf Ranch (or similar) or your local zoo. The Field Museum has a great exhibit about wolves going on right now. This sounds weird coming from a blogger, but the most rabid, vicious wolves you will ever meet are on the internet. Handle those wolves with care.

Who Let The Dogs Out?: Wolfdogs.

So, maybe after pugs, you're thinking that we humans have gone too far. Hell, it feels like society has forgotten that dogs are, in fact, carnivores. Maybe we should take a step back and introduce some wolf into the dog.

 Oh, wait. That's a thing.

When a dog happen to meet at the right time of month, they make a wolfdog. There is no "one size fits all" description for a wolfdog - every one of them will be different. It's just like with mixed breed dogs. In fact, wolf dogs are almost the exact same thing as mixed-breed dogs, with all the unpredictability and hybrid vigor therein.

First off, a reminder: The scientific definition of "species" is based on "can this thing get it on with this thing?" It has absolutely nothing to do with the human perceptions concerning dogs and wolves. To science, if something can mate and produce 100% fertile offspring with something else, those two things are the same species. There may be behavioral difference between wolves and dogs, but that doesn't stop them from doing it like they do on the Discovery Channel...successfully.

STILL look adorable.

As the silver fox study shows, most of the traits that we treasure so much in domestic dogs come from breeding just for docility. That includes floppy ears, wagging tails, and general obedience. The wolf is not bred at all - rather, it undoes a few stitches of whatever breeding went into the dog. Even with all the variability wolfdogs have, the tendency is toward timidity, not aggression. That does not mean you should keep one without doing your homework.

Let's look at some testimonials from people with wolfdog experience:

 "I have a friend that has three. Not judging, just fact.

He got a puppy last year to go with his two older dolves..

His puppy chewed up his cabinets. Like, not a little bit that you could cover up with some trim. THE SIDES.

His puppy RIPPED UP HIS HARDWOOD FLOORING in his kitchen, which was her area while he was at work or whatever. He lets his dogs out at regular intervals, and other than his preoccupation with wolf/dog hybrids, he's a great pet owner.

His puppy has not one but TWO genetic defects, too (something about intestinal adhesions and her kidneys aren't in the right spots)."


"high (wolf) contents are often very difficult to handle and actually tend to fare BETTER as mostly outside dogs. they need a lot more everything all around. get a real high content hybrid and its an average 14 or 15 year commitment riddled with high insurance, expensive fencing, oftentime an animal who HAS to be fed raw, little to no travel(traveling with a wolfdog is practically impossible), the threat of your dogs being seized, and a lot of concerns that go above and beyond just owning a dog." 


And finally, someone found this helpful little sheet on determining whether a wolfdog is right for you or not. This was honestly the least biased thing I could find about wolfdogs. I'm not necessarily advocating wolfdogs, but the behavior there seemed chillingly different to anything I have ever found when asking about reptiles. Call it a vibe; I could tell some people there just hated wolfdogs. I don't, but you should know what you're getting into.

Although some breeds, such as the Czech Wolfdog, deliberately have wolf infused into them, bad things happen when wild wolves cross with stray dogs. The resulting hybrids might have no fear of humans - y'know, one of the things that had to be bred out of the domestic dog. You have domestic dogs to thank for pure black wolves, by the way.

For those of you curious, Balto, the most popular wolfdog ever, might not have been a wolfdog. He was most likely a purebred Siberian Huskie. Rumor has it, however, that Iditarod racers are contemplating breeding wolf into their stock to give their dogs more endurance, speed, etc. That's what wolves are slowly becoming: Dogs on steroids.