I Actually Ate That: Crawfish.

 For those who do not keep up with my dA page, I have been traveling. A lot. This time, I got to head down south to New Orleans - a city known for sex, drugs, and...smooth jazz? Oh, and excellent food. This was what my adventurous tongue took on my first night in town:

This was a massive platter consisting of crayfish etouffee (the stew-ish stuff), au gratin, dressing balls, and crayfish tails served like popcorn shrimp. They did not tell us that the dish would be very heavily spiced, but that's just what you have to expect in NOLA. That, and Bourbon Street being full of sex and liquor every night.

Crayfish are like lobsters, but smaller. They generally inhabit unpolluted, freshwater areas of all sorts. They will eat anything you put in their tank- even other crayfish. There are some that do make good aquarium pets; please do research if you find crayfish interesting animals and wish to keep one rather than eat it. Otherwise, crayfish of the less friendly sorts are available at bait shops. More on that later.

Not all crayfish are created equal. Almost all of them are sensitive to polluted water. On the flipside, crayfish used as bait or farmed as food can decimate local crayfish populations if they get loose- they eat each other, remember? North American crayfish introduced a nasty water mould, Aphanomyces astaci, into European crayfih populations; the resistant American crayfish (like the signal crayfish below) have taken over. Eating invasive crayfish is a happy solution. Circle of life, now let's eat these guys!

There are a million ways to prepare crayfish, and Louisiana offers a good portion of them in one state. Crayfish tails look almost exactly like popcorn shrimp when breaded, but taste nothing alike. They can be boiled, put in gumbo, served au gratin like lobster, and a million other culinary styles. I've even had crayfish sushi. If you can handle other decapods, crayfish will be no problem for you. 

So, what did I think of the four dishes above? I'm not the best judge on land meat; I do, however, like seafood. Without a doubt, crayfish is the best crustacean I have had so far. It has no aftertaste like lobster, is more noticeable than shrimp, and doesn't taste like crab. In cajun cuisine, however, the spices tend to be piled on so thickly that you can't taste much of anything beneath them. I highly recommend etouffee if you want some genuine Louisiana crawdad, and au gratin or as little "popcorn" crayfish tails if you actually want to taste the stuff. The "dressing balls" were almost entirely spices. If you like shellfish already, you'll probably appreciate this Southern favorite. Alligator meat is also pretty abundant, so if that's your ticket, come into the bayou.

Creature Feature: Sawblade Shrimp.

With vacation pics over with, it's time to get back to what this blog is all about: becoming inspired by how weird and wonderful the world is. Yes, believe it or not, this blog has a point- to get people all fired up about how amazing the world already is, and to then use that information to fuel creative projects. So let's head to the oceans again; there's always more than enough weird stuff, there.

Source.

If you'll look to the above pic, you'll see a red thing that looks almost like a branch, but not quite. That's a saw-blade shrimp (Tozeuma). It's yet another weird resident of the Indo-Pacific reefs, as well as the Red Sea. They grow 5cm, or roughly 2 inches, and feed on parasites, algae, and plankton.

These are pretty much the walking sticks of the sea. Of course, since this is the ocean, the weirdness has been cranked up to eleven. Banded saw-blade shrimp have bands (go figure)that break up their outlines, as well as transparent bodies. The ocellated saw-blade shrimp above simply looks a lot like the coral it's attached to.  Now you see it, now you don't.

Source.

Along with being simply excellent at camouflage, these shrimp have some important jobs to do. As previously stated, they eat parasites. Those parasites come off of other, larger animals that allow themselves a free cleaning from the shrimp. The saw-blades will also clean burrows, jaws, and other things that animals simply can't be bothered to clean.

There are also a ton of saw-blade shrimp waiting to be discovered, or at least named properly. Some people take excellent photos of unknown shrimp when they go to reefs on vacation. There's still a lot to learn about these bizarre, hunched crustaceans. And no, what they taste like is not on the list of things to learn...although a few oddballs have probably tried.

Creature Feature: Cymothoa exigua.

This blog keeps saying that horror movies need more biodiversity. There are too many shark, crocodile, and snake movies out there. The world is full of untouched terrors that would make great movies, but simply aren't as "classic" as giant, scary predators.

Well, we had no clue this one had a horror flick until it was found in a video store:
 

After looking at some reviews, The Bay may actually turn out to be a good one. It's been called "eco-terror" and has enough basis in reality to warrant a bio-art entry. The biggest flaw I've seen in reviews are the "found footage" effects. The basis for that movie is equally terrifying:

Source.

You, dear reader, are probably in denial of what you are actually seeing. That is indeed a small crustacean inside the mouth of a fish. In fact, that crustacean is so deeply embedded into the fish's mouth that it has actually replaced the fish's tongue.

The real name of this Saw-tier horror is Cymothoa exigua. It primarily parasitizes snapper species found in Costa Rica, but the range of hosts may be expanding. It is also known as the "tongue-eating louse" for obvious reasons. The louse first extracts out of the fish's tongue, effectively numbing it, then sits its lousy rear right where the old tongue was, attaching itself to the membranes thereon. The isopod then becomes little more than a tongue with eyes: its limbs atrophy, it becomes a little more swollen, and so forth. The fish can use the new critter just like a regular tongue, and the isopod gets delicious mucous and other non-horror-flick munchies and a ride. This is the only known instance of a parasite replacing an entire organ - so far.

Hey fish, wanna free tongue piercing? Some stupid fish say "yes."

Here's another fascinating thing: only the females eat the fish's tongue. The males have to live in the gills, which is also probably not pleasant for the fish. They are technically born males, with only the largest of the bunch swimming off and becoming little more than a tongue with eyes. The new tongue-lice have to find a host fast. Nobody ever said life as a tongue was easy.

Remember that pic where the giant isopods wanted our Doritos? Yeah. Apparently, if this continues onto land, they will get their Doritos...by replacing our tongues. Then they'll have alllll the salty snack foods that giant deep-sea crustaceans crave. We wish more horror flicks could get that creative.  Have a nice night!

Creature Feature: Hermit Crabs.

So I'm now back in a little area of Illinois I like to call "Suburban Hell." There are whole strip malls that have died just by being in this suburb. Most tragically, the local magic shop, and several other stores in its little strip, have decided to close shop. Even other suburbanites say my suburb sucks.

That said, here's a critter known for moving: the classic hermit crab.

The name "hermit crab" is a little bit misleading; they are more closely related to squat lobsters and porcelain crabs than 'standard' crabs. They are usually native to tropical regions or completely marine. There are several kinds of hermit crabs (over 1100 species), but they all have one thing in common: As they grow, they need to move into another animal's shell or shelter. 

Unlike most crustaceans, hermit crabs have squishy abdomens.  They are designed such that, as they grow older, they can fit into another animal's shell. When a nearby snail dies, hermit crabs line up to see who can fit in the shell. When that owner gets too big for it, the cycle starts again, and smaller crabs line up to take the abandoned shell. I would hate to see the real estate prices on those shells.

Quick, find it an apartment!

 

Not all hermit crabs live in shells. Some of them inhabit burrows of sea worms.Others prefer coral, sponges, and bivalves to snails. They've been around since the Cretaceous- of course they've evolved to do better than single snail shells.  A few of them deliberately put sea anemones on their shells as a form of home security. Despite the names, hermit crabs can and should live in communities, making housing slightly easier to come by.

Most of you have probably seen land hermit crabs in pet stores. These are terrestrial hermit crabs of the genus Coenobita; I usually see some Ecuadoran hermit crabs around. As hermit crabs grow in popularity, more and more species of this genus are appearing for sale. They used to be thought of as a "throwaway" pet, but can live a surprisingly long time if their rather strict environment is maintained. Now that people are catching on, books and other items for hermit crab care are becoming readily available. They even make little painted shells for your hermit crab to move into.

For those of us who don't have the space or time to manage hermit crabs (they aren't that bad, really), Pokemon has four hermit crabs total. The Slowpoke family is  based off of hermit crabs, with Slowbro outright called "hermit crab" as its title. The other hermit crab family, Dwebble and Crustle, is newer. 

Food Week: Crayfish Etoufee.

The friend of mine who suggested this whole food week happened to be from Louisiana. Lousiana's got plenty of unique cuisine, including gumbo, jambalaya, and a few other things with funny names. Among those was his personal choice for the week: Crayfish etouffee.

Etouffee ("stuffed" in French- yes, my accents suck) is basically any shellfish served over rice in a sort of stew. Vegetables and a tomato-based sauce are givens. common in both Cajun and creole cuisine. It is more popular in the southern parts of Louisiana than up north. The shellfish of choice in Louisiana is, of course, crayfish.

Crayfish is another one of those things that make me wonder, "who thought this was a good idea, again?" Crayfish are the smaller, more voracious cousins of the lobster. Put two in a tank and one of them will eventually eat the other. Then again, humans do eat anything.

These guys love food. They just don't like BEING food.

Another weird part of etouffee is something called roux. Roux is a thickening agent commonly found in French cooking. It's usually equal parts fat and flour. Depending on the kind of flavor desired, a blond or brown roux may be used in etouffee. Lighter roux creates a nuttier flavor while a darker roux enhances the flavors that are already there.

For those curious, crayfish etouffee was supposedly invented some 70 years ago in Beaux Bridge, Louisiana. Since then, it spread to New Orleans and cities across the state. It is consistently one of any given restaurant's most popular dishes. There are plenty of recipes if you click around online. A lot of people just use packaged mixes, but it still comes out great. I've never been to Louisiana, but will definitely give etouffee a try!

"They Actually Eat That:" Lobster.

So on a whim -or because it's normal for you, I don't know - you decide to have dinner at a seafood place. They have various dishes with shrimp, salmon, and some other familiar fish, but the only one with the label "market price" is lobster. For those of you unfamiliar with restaurant slang, "market price" means something so expensive that they do not want to tell you what it costs. Lobster usually has this attached.



Umm, why? I've had lobster. It is not my favorite shellfish, but can be nice if prepared well. It gets most of its flavor from the butter and sauce used upon it. No offense if you like it, but is it really worth "market price" in every restaurant that serves it?

Long story short, no.  No, it is not.

Prior to the mid-19th century, one could not find an American who would consider lobster the fancy dish it is today. Lobster was considered a food for the impoverished. Hell, it was barely even food- lobster was used as fish bait and fertilizer most of the time. Think about what else goes into fertilizer for a bit, then tell me if (North American) lobster still sounds appetizing.

 

So, what made it popular? The people along the East Coast gained a taste for it. The desire to eat lobster fresh was popularized in New York and Boston - places which have easy access to lobster already. The catch is, of course, that they do have fine lobster waiting to be caught. The canned stuff does not taste nearly as good, and, in fancy restaurants, the lobster may be more about presentation than taste.


From foodnetwork.com. Yeah, we need TV and computers to tell us how to eat, now.

One could also get into the latest animal rights fad sweeping the nation: Rights for lobsters. The classic way to prepare lobster is to boil the crustacean alive. While this blog agrees that, maybe, such a practice is a little extreme, several places (including Italy) have fines for boiling lobsters alive. If PETA's next stunt is letting dogs vote, I will buy a hat and eat it; we do not need squeaky toys in campaign ads.

Oh, and by the way, lobsters are waaayyy overfished. We have tried to breed them, but lobster farms have not proven successful. Not only is lobster expensive for no real reason, it's damaging the ecosystem.