They Actually Eat That + Creature Feature: Living Rocks.

Apologies for the lack of entries. There are two reasons for it: one, vacation in Minnesota and summer in general made a mess of my schedule; two,  I've had a hard time getting motivated. No more of that! This is probably the weirdest creature I've ever seen. Behold...

Source.

...the not-so-giant rock!

Yes, that rock is alive. It's called Pyura chilensis - "piure" for short in Spanish. It's part of the extremely weird group of creatures called tunicates/sea squirts- primitive vertebrates that are free-swimming when young, then become stationary blobs as adults. In this case, the blob looks like a giant rock and lives off the coast of Chile and Peru. As with all other mature tunicates, it is a filter feeder, feeding on any microorganisms that find their way into its rocky, yet surprisingly squishy insides before squirting that water back out.

Yeah, maybe it's time for a refresher on what a tunicate is. Tunicates, sea squirts, and sea salps are, collectively, the weirdest chordates in existence. They start life as free-swimming, tadpole-like creatures with brains, spines, and other very vertebrate traits. When they mature, however, they change entirely, eating their primitive spinal chord and becoming little more than jellyfish or sponges. In this case, the piura becomes a living rock as an adult. Can it have the "best camouflage ever" award? It pretty much ate its brain for it.

Like all tunicates, the living rock is a sequential hermaphrodite. It's born male, then becomes female as it gets older.When it's on the edge of becoming female, it releases both sperm and eggs into a messy cloud in the water. Yes, the living rock can effectively mate with itself if the need arises. Consider your mind blown.

You may have noticed that this is also a "They Actually Eat That" entry. Yes, the living rock is actually edible, and quite popular at that. Peoples in coastal Central and South America are in fact quite fond of eating this tunicate. It has also taken on some popularity in Sweden and Japan. I'm personally more surprised about Sweden than Japan in this instance. It's described as being "bitter and soapy," but supposedly goes great on rice or as fried tunicate meat. Whose idea it was to break apart a rock for food in the first place

There are, however, some concerns about eating piura. For whatever reason, piura meat contains an exceedingly high amount of vanadium- look it up on the periodic chart if you've never even heard of that metal (it probably was not on your chemistry exam). The concentration of vanadium in a single rocky tunicate is ten million times that of the surrounding seawater. Vanadium has been suspected of causing liver damage in high amounts. This has not stopped people from going along the coast and picking up living rocks underwater.

This entry was so weird and strange that I may just go ahead and do a tunicate theme week...hm.. 

Creature Feature: Black Swallower.

It's about time I got back into the swing of things. That means more cool creatures, hopefully with another 6-day week of entries at a faster pace. There is still more weird stuff out there, and I intend to cover a lot of it. In this case, a friend of mine was awesome enough to send me a real monstrosity:

The black fish above is a black swallower (Chiasmodon niger). These small (10 inch) fish are restricted to dark, tropical and subtropical waters.  They themselves are rather dark, being brown and scaleless like many non-glowing abyssal animals. They eat bony fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Yes, we are still talking about the tiny black fish - not the pearly blue fish it attempted to eat.

Oh, and yes, the thing did indeed swallow something larger than its entire body up there. It can swallow prey over twice its length and ten times its mass. The black swallower doesn't bother to chew them, either - just swallows them whole, presumably jaw-walking over them from the tail up just to fit it all in. Nobody has ever seen this taking place. This is almost like a human swallowing a whole cow without chewing, regardless. Have fun with that image.

To help with this insane capacity to swallow, the black swallower's stomach is so stretchy that it makes python skin look like plastic. Things are enclosed whole in the stomach lining, which can stretch so thin that it looks like a bubble waiting to be popped. As one can imagine, this doesn't work 100% of the time; many black swallowers have been found with their stomachs popped like fleshy bubbles.

It's a miracle that almost nobody has done anything in pop culture with this weird little fish. Its strange eating habits sound like the perfect setup for a monster. Combine it with certain other abyssal creatures and we might have a terror of the deep on par with Jaws. Better still, its young have been found near Bermuda. Hm...I sense a new B-horror flick coming on.

Creature Feature: Lumpsucker.

 Happy Father's Day! After yesterday's news, it's time for something positive about dads...right?

Unfortunately, in much of the animal world, dads are dicks. I'm not even going to sugar-coat that. They mate, knock up a female, then move on. The vast majority of the time, babies are given no paternal care - and before you say "that's only reptiles blah blah blah," one, both parents leave after the eggs hatch in reptiles, and two, mammals tend to mate and run just as fast.

That said, there are some great animal dads, like this fellow:

Along with being awesome dads, lumpsuckers probably win the award for "weirdest fish you never heard of." There are 27 species of "lumpsucker, but the titular fish is Cyclopterus lumpus- yes, "lumpus" is apparently a Latin word, now. C. lumpus can be found in the colder, rockier parts of the Atlantic, Pacific, and Arctic Oceans. (Worth noting: the Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker is extremely popular, and merits its own entry.) Their closest relatives are lionfish, which almost everybody who has ever been to an aquarium or exotic pet store has probably seen at least once, and perch, which are a pretty common fish. They look nothing like the scaleless ping-pong balls called lumpsuckers.

Yet, surprisingly, these little weirdos make relatively good dads by fish standards. In lumpsuckers, the male almost does more work than the female. The male makes the nest, for example. After eggs are laid, he guards the brood. Considering lumpsuckers make cheap caviar, it's a good thing someone's guarding those eggs. It helps that his pelvic fin has evolved into a suction cup, leading to the rather amusing image here:

From Wikipedia. Too cute!

Now, here's why they're called "lumpsuckers." They look like little lumps and have pelvic disc suckers. Yes, lumpsuckers, like some weird Pokemon GameFreak never came up with, have suction cups on the bottom. This thing looks terrifying when seen from beneath, but also makes for some of the cutest fish images on the entire internet. It's similar to the suction that remoras have, but is used for the less badass purpose of clinging to anything that happens to be around while it munches slow-swimming, bottom-dwelling stuff. This thing has evolved the laziness adaptation nerds never could.

Also, guess what? They actually eat that! Apparently lumpfish is not only popular as caviar, but as meat as well. Iceland loves it so much that whole fisheries have been founded on lumpfish.Then again, considering their habit of preserving fish in horrible, maddening ways...we'll let lumpfish slide. We cool, Iceland?

Shark Week: Goblin Shark.

OK, let's be honest: I haven't shown off any particularly strange sharks. Sure, it's kinda neat that the nurse shark can sleep and sucks stuff up from the sea bottom, but that's not too odd unless you're a real fish nerd. Hongeohoe? That's a skate, not a shark. Allow me to compensate: 

If you thought regular sharks looked nasty, the goblin shark (Mitsukurina owstoni) could win almost any "ugly shark" contest if such a thing existed. It has been around and gone nearly unchanged since Cretaceous, i.e. 125 million years ago. Go figure, it's an abyss-dweller. Unlike the orange roughy, however, these sharks are rarely caught. We presume Dagon would not want us to catch this particular Lovecraftian nightmare regardless.

The goblin shark gets its name because of its funny "nose," which greatly resembles the crowlike noses of Japanese goblins ("tengu"). Much like the bill of a platypus and the hammerhead's titular head, this nose has "ampullae of Lorenzini," which allow the shark to sense electromagnetic waves from the bodies of animals hiding near the bottom. Aesthetically, it just contributes to our fears that something very nasty must be lurking at the bottom of the sea.

Aside from the snout, the goblin shark has one other really bizarre feature: its jaws. Like something out of Alien, the goblin shark can extend its jaws almost to the end of its snout. Words cannot justify how strange this looks. Here's a video instead:



Luckily, this freak is probably one of the laziest sharks on the planet. It's believed to be sluggish, snagging crustaceans, fish, and other deep sea crunchies with its massive alien jaws instead of swimming after them with its stubby fins. It avoids human contact, most of the time, in part because it lives in the dark abyss. You may have noticed that there's a lot of "data deficient" spots on this entry; this is why.

Did I mention that these sharks can get as long as a car? No? Have fun sleeping.

Shark Week: Nurse Shark.

This is a weird shark week. That means we'll be going off the beaten path, looking at sharks you never knew existed. Not every shark can be Jaws, so how about we switch to something more docile, yes?

This is a nurse shark (Ginglymostoma cirratum). Nurse sharks are fond of shallow, warm waters in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. They aren't dangerous to humans unless you disturb them, in which case prepare for a nasty bite from thousands of needle teeth. Small stuff on the bottom, be it fish, crustacean, or mollusc, is not so lucky. Their barbs function much like the whiskers on a catfish, meaning that stuff beneath the sand is not safe.

Nobody really knows why these sharks are called nurse sharks. They don't take particularly good care of their (!live) babies. The name could come from the shark's docile nature or how it "nurses" the sea bottom with its mouth, but the most likely explanation is the Old English "hurse," meaning this particular type of bottom-dwelling sea shark. In other words, name change via spell check. We've all been there.

Now, here's a puzzle: How do bottom-dwelling sharks, well, stay on the bottom? Most sharks need to swim constantly to circulate water across their gills.Nurse sharks circulate water by pumping it through their mouths. These sharks do rest a lot, sometimes on top of each other. They can be seen sleeping in masses of up to 30-40 members in one spot, meaning that these are relatively social sharks. How far removed is that from a terrifying great white?

In many ways, nurse sharks are the "Burmese pythons" of the saltwater aquarium trade. People see a cute juvenile, don't think it'll get very big, then wind up with a 10+ foot shark that no tank will hold. Good luck finding a home for a shark; most aquariums will not take them. Please do your homework before taking home any animal, especially a shark!

Creature Feature: Basking Shark.

So, wait a tic. Is hakarl made of basking shark or Greenland shark? Actually, this is where the video got something wrong: basking sharks aren't poisonous. They can still be used for hakarl, but the curing does little more than make the meat extra-pungent. What is a basking shark, anyways, because the image of a shark basking sounds like something off of a cheap beach souvenir?

Source.

This is what a basking shark looks like. It is native to all the seven seas, presumably following the  plankton by smell. Being large, slow-moving, and calm, it has been a fishery staple for quite some time. It is the second largest fish in the world after the whale shark.

These sharks are big. You thought 23 feet was big? Nah, the basking shark can get up to 40 feet long. To reuse a bad joke, that's a lotta fish; it makes sense that some Vikings would want to preserve that. Numbers like that have not been seen for a while, but remember that the basking shark is kind of like a whale shark. Yes, it is similar to something with whale in is name for so many reasons.

Source: BBC, but sharks aren't mammals, silly network.

The basking shark, like the whale shark, is a filter-feeding shark. It eats whatever small things it swims through. That means it is only a threat to the tiny little creatures (zooplankton) that get caught in the basking shark's super-large mouth. Even though it may look a lot like a great white, it's not going to bite you. I would not, however, suggest going up to random large sharks and testing this.

Alas, this is another one of those creatures that is at risk of going extinct. Shark fin soup can come from these sharks, too. Shark liver oil was once popular, and Japan uses parts of this shark as an aphrodisiac. Basking sharks were once so common that they were thought pests. Now some areas ban catching them while others seem to have lost them entirely. If you see one of those sea monsters, look on at it in awe; unless you live at sea, they're an uncommon sight.

Maybe it's about time I did my own version of Shark Week...hmm...

Creature Feature: Leatherback Sea Turtle.

So, what is a leatherback, anyways? We gathered from the news video that it was an endangered sea turtle. How endangered? Are they really that rare? Let's find out!

Leatherback sea turtles are unique sea turtles in the genus Dermochelys. They are found worldwide, including around Japan. There are several subpopulations, but are all the same species as far as we know. Finding one in Japan would be unusual, but not unheard of. It's Japan we're talking about; all manner of odd spawns from those islands.

What's in a name? The main thing that sets a leatherback apart from other sea turtles: its lack of a carapace. Leatherbacks are effectively shell-less turtles. They have protrusions called osteoderms and ridges, but do not have a distinct, bony shell.  Their scales also lack beta keratin, which makes them unique among reptiles, and also lack true teeth.In other words, they're almost more torpedo than turtle. Make that a Pokemon: Tortpedo, Water/Steel, high speed for a turtle.

Leatherbacks are such oddball turtles that they are almost living fossils. The other members of this family evolved during the Late Cretaceous - AKA "that time with all the cool dinosaurs." Leatherbacks are the only extant members of their family; the rest of the carapace-less turtles are now extinct. They are also the largest extant turtles, getting up to 7 feet (roughly 2 meters) long. They are large, aerodynamic relics from the days of the dinosaurs. Enjoy.

Unfortunately, the news was right: Leatherbacks are indeed endangered. A fair amount of adults are caught by fishing. Although banned by CITES, some leatherbacks are indeed caught and traded (with some hopefully going to research projects - sorry, needed to point that out). A few are caught for meat, but generally, leatherbacks are not good turtle soup. The eggs are treated as a delicacy in Asia, however, which hits populations pretty hard. The only time the turtles are really vulnerable is when they're young, but they get hit hard and fast at that stage in life.

Y'know what? Despite being endangered, these turtles are not pandas. We actually have a very good reason to keep leatherback turtles alive. These things eat jellyfish. A lot of jellyfish. If I did not cover the jellyfish invasion in a previous entry, I should have. Our oceans are being overrun with jellyfish. We need sea turtles before the jellyfish take over the world.

Science Art: A Real-Life Space Jam + Opening a Soda Can On the Ocean Floor.

Space. The final frontier. Nearly every sci-fi thing involves space in some way, shape, or form, in part because aliens are cool and One day, after our planet is destroyed, we may have colonies on the moon. For now, we have one guy playing a guitar. 



Yes, that video was edited. Commander Chris Hadfield still went up in space, filmed himself playing the guitar, and probably lipsynched just to get the song absolutely right. He had a glider scholarship since 15 years of age. In short, he is a solid badass who does more awesome things than you...and puts them on YouTube for your convenience.

Or how about crying in space?



Basically, anything mundane that you have ever thought of doing in space? This guy's done it. Then he put it up on YouTube to sate your nerdy curiosity.  Who would ask about nail clipping in outer space? I don't know, but you're probably looking it up on YouTube right now. You're welcome.

The fun does not stop in space. Commander Hadfield has also been to the bottom of the ocean, where he opened a soda can.



Yeah, you'll never see soda the same way again. Or Atlantis, for that matter.

"They Actually Eat That:" Orange Roughy.

If you live near any big city, there is a fine chance that there is an aquarium near you. Aquariums tend to have handy little pocket guides for what seafood is safe and sustainable and what is not. If you can get a hold of such a chart, I can promise you this fellow will be on the "avoid" list. Not the guy, the fish:

Source.

The fish above is an orange roughy (Hoplostethus atlanticus). It is a deep-sea fish, much like the anglerfish and other glowing creatures. The red-orange color comes from eating crustaceans, just like with pink flamingoes. It is also called a "slimehead" or "deepsea perch." "Slimehead"- what a lovely name. It makes "roughy" sound appealing by comparison. 

Here's the kicker: every single orange roughy is wild-caught. Certain restaurants might even market this fact. There are no orange roughy farms, yet tilapia and salmon pile themselves upon grocery shelves. It seems to be a fairly popular fish, so why hasn't anybody tried to farm them?

Here's a little-known facet of what makes an animal good for domestication: the reproductive age must be equal to or less than that of a human. Humans start becoming reproductively-capable in their teens; most pet and farm animals take two years, if that, until they are ready to reproduce. The orange roughy takes anywhere from thirty-three years to fifty. 

Yes, this popular food fish takes fifty years to become sexually mature. Anyone who wanted to breed orange roughy would be in for a very long wait. Even if someone possessed that amazing level of dedication, they would not be able to keep up with the demand for this fish. The orange roughy on one's plate could be around 150 years old - most humans do not live that long. No wonder the stocks around Australia and New Zealand are depleted -  they're trying to feed creatures that multiply like rodents. Never mind the mercury; orange roughy is on that "avoid" list for a very good reason.

Personal preference time:I have tried orange roughy, unsustainable though it may be. I absolutely love this fish. It ranks up there with halibut and certain forms of salmon as one of my favorite food fish. Aside from sweets, this fish is among my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. Now I'm going to feel even guiltier about ordering it at a certain Greek restaurant.

Creature Feature: Sawblade Shrimp.

With vacation pics over with, it's time to get back to what this blog is all about: becoming inspired by how weird and wonderful the world is. Yes, believe it or not, this blog has a point- to get people all fired up about how amazing the world already is, and to then use that information to fuel creative projects. So let's head to the oceans again; there's always more than enough weird stuff, there.

Source.

If you'll look to the above pic, you'll see a red thing that looks almost like a branch, but not quite. That's a saw-blade shrimp (Tozeuma). It's yet another weird resident of the Indo-Pacific reefs, as well as the Red Sea. They grow 5cm, or roughly 2 inches, and feed on parasites, algae, and plankton.

These are pretty much the walking sticks of the sea. Of course, since this is the ocean, the weirdness has been cranked up to eleven. Banded saw-blade shrimp have bands (go figure)that break up their outlines, as well as transparent bodies. The ocellated saw-blade shrimp above simply looks a lot like the coral it's attached to.  Now you see it, now you don't.

Source.

Along with being simply excellent at camouflage, these shrimp have some important jobs to do. As previously stated, they eat parasites. Those parasites come off of other, larger animals that allow themselves a free cleaning from the shrimp. The saw-blades will also clean burrows, jaws, and other things that animals simply can't be bothered to clean.

There are also a ton of saw-blade shrimp waiting to be discovered, or at least named properly. Some people take excellent photos of unknown shrimp when they go to reefs on vacation. There's still a lot to learn about these bizarre, hunched crustaceans. And no, what they taste like is not on the list of things to learn...although a few oddballs have probably tried.

Creature Feature: Ribbon Eel.

Eels seem to have a really bad reputation. Any and all eels suddenly become electrified. They're naturally slimy, not scaly, making them even less appealing than snakes to most people. Eels pretty much snakes of the sea, even though seasnakes are things.

Well, this is an eel that breaks that stereotype into a million little pieces. The ribbon or Bernis eel (Rhinomuraena quaesita) is a colorful creature that can be found in the Indian and Pacific Oceans. It feeds on crustaceans - i.e. crabs, shrimp, and other little armored things.  As one can imagine, it has been introduced into the aquarium trade...but more on that later.

This is one impressive-looking eel. The  ribbon eel comes in a variety of colors, but by far the most shocking is a bright blue and yellow palette found on some of the males. They also have distinctive nostril flares that look almost like little flowers. Need any more reasons for Asian cultures to think that dragons come from fish?

RAWR! (Actually, it's just breathing.)

The ribbon eel is exceptional in another way: It's a sequential, protandric hermaphrodite. A ribbon eel starts as a male, then becomes a female later in life. This is not unusual for fish, but most moray eels do it the opposite way! In fact, most fish prefer to start female. The ribbon eel just keeps getting weirder.

Supposedly, healthy ribbon eels will live up to twenty years in captivity. Very few individuals have been able to keep them for that long. They don't even have a truly functional care sheet on fishchannel.com, meaning that nobody knows enough about these eels to write a thorough guide. From what we could gather, it's a miracle for ribbon eels to live over 5 years in an aquarium. Anyone have an experience to prove us wrong?

This creates a problem. A lot of people really love these eels, but captive breeding is almost unheard of. There is a good chance that overfishing could lead to these creatures becoming endangered. Please be sure to check where such specimens come from so as to preserve the wild little dragons.

Creature Feature: Scooter Blenny.

Much to one's surprise, Petco can be a learning experience. Most of their exotics are beginner-friendly and can hardly be considered exotic to people who really know the trade. Every now and again, though, they'll have something that is not beginner-level and probably should not be in the hands of the next kid who thinks it looks awesome.

This is a clear exception to the "beginners" rule. It was labeled as a "scooter blenny," but the more proper name is ocellated dragonet (Synchiropus ocellatus). It is native to the southern waters around Japan and an island chain called the Marquesan Islands- good luck finding that obscure chain of Pacific islands on a globe. We had not even heard of them until covering this little fish. It feeds mostly on copepods - a sort of zooplankton.

Names can be very deceiving. This is not a blenny; it is an entirely different type of fish called a dragonet. Dragonets are all minor predatory fish with flashy fins and a taste for small sea life. They generally prefer the bottom of the reef or tank, and the scooter/ocellated dragonet is no exception. After seeing one of these in action, it appears to be walking on the bottom of the tank (thus "scooter"). Not as awesome as a batfish, but still pretty neat.

Source. Gorgeous.

As one might expect of such a flashy fish, the ocellated dragonet exhibits sexual dimorphism. The males have larger dorsal fins with a patch of bright orange at the base. The word "ocellated" refers to the eyespots on the fin up there. The females are much less colorful, blending right in with the gravel in the aquarium. Still a treat to watch "walk," in any case.

Contrary to their presence at Petco, dragonets of any sort are not beginner's fish. As one might imagine, live copepods are hard to come by, and these guys are picky eaters. Most draconets die shortly after purchase because they won't eat. They also live longer in established reef settings. Read: You must already be able to handle a saltwater tank, which in itself is not as easy as it sounds. To be fair, Petco has several other saltwater things, so if it's a tank you're after? Do your own homework before going there, then start away.

Creature Feature: Cymothoa exigua.

This blog keeps saying that horror movies need more biodiversity. There are too many shark, crocodile, and snake movies out there. The world is full of untouched terrors that would make great movies, but simply aren't as "classic" as giant, scary predators.

Well, we had no clue this one had a horror flick until it was found in a video store:
 

After looking at some reviews, The Bay may actually turn out to be a good one. It's been called "eco-terror" and has enough basis in reality to warrant a bio-art entry. The biggest flaw I've seen in reviews are the "found footage" effects. The basis for that movie is equally terrifying:

Source.

You, dear reader, are probably in denial of what you are actually seeing. That is indeed a small crustacean inside the mouth of a fish. In fact, that crustacean is so deeply embedded into the fish's mouth that it has actually replaced the fish's tongue.

The real name of this Saw-tier horror is Cymothoa exigua. It primarily parasitizes snapper species found in Costa Rica, but the range of hosts may be expanding. It is also known as the "tongue-eating louse" for obvious reasons. The louse first extracts out of the fish's tongue, effectively numbing it, then sits its lousy rear right where the old tongue was, attaching itself to the membranes thereon. The isopod then becomes little more than a tongue with eyes: its limbs atrophy, it becomes a little more swollen, and so forth. The fish can use the new critter just like a regular tongue, and the isopod gets delicious mucous and other non-horror-flick munchies and a ride. This is the only known instance of a parasite replacing an entire organ - so far.

Hey fish, wanna free tongue piercing? Some stupid fish say "yes."

Here's another fascinating thing: only the females eat the fish's tongue. The males have to live in the gills, which is also probably not pleasant for the fish. They are technically born males, with only the largest of the bunch swimming off and becoming little more than a tongue with eyes. The new tongue-lice have to find a host fast. Nobody ever said life as a tongue was easy.

Remember that pic where the giant isopods wanted our Doritos? Yeah. Apparently, if this continues onto land, they will get their Doritos...by replacing our tongues. Then they'll have alllll the salty snack foods that giant deep-sea crustaceans crave. We wish more horror flicks could get that creative.  Have a nice night!

Creature Feature: Longhorn Cowfish.

The idea of "you can slap any word onto 'fish' and it's probably a thing" makes for a rather funny game. Triggerfish are subtle; there is a trigger there, but it's not obvious unless you're looking for it. Surgeonfish? Yeah, I don't get it, either, but I wouldn't trust it with open-heart operations either way. Squirrelfish do not look like squirrels - period. Then there are cowfish...

Source.

...yeah, that one works pretty well, actually.

Cowfish are members of the boxfish family, which are closely related to pufferfish. Yes, like fugu, these fish are poisonous. They are native to tropical waters; many of them can be found in the Indo-Pacific. They eat crustaceans, like fish and crabs, as well as plants like algae. The longhorn cowfish ( Lactoria cornuta) is the most popular.

Cowfish are best known for, well, looking like cows. They have boxy bodies and long horns coming out of their heads. Like cows, they are also tanks; the scales on this fish's body are fused into a tough shell. They are slow swimmers and grunt when captured. We'll cut the fish some slack because a mooing fish would be just crazy, and they look enough like cows without sounding like pigs. Moo.



Cowfish have another defense aside from looking like cows: if irritated, they excrete a nasty poison. It is called ostracitoxin and cannot be broken down as it is not a protein. It is hell-bent on destroying other fish, and is hemolytic to boot. It kills sharks. Even other boxfish are not immune to one PO'd cow. The meat is also poisonous. No cowfish steaks for you!

Good gods, cowfish are popular in captivity. They are available at Petco if the online search results are any indication.  This does not mean they are beginner fish - it means that you need to read directions. Cowfish are generally peaceful, easy-going fish that take their time and do not like stress from having a lot of tankmates.  Failing to acclimate them properly may result in poisoning your whole tank. Popular, but still not for beginners, so if you're a newbie, don't get a cow, man.

"They Actually Eat That:" Escolar.

If you ever pick up a sushi menu, you will see some strange stuff. There are things like sea urchin and eel alongside common salmon, tuna, and shrimp. Then there are simply odd uses for regular fish, like taking their eggs.

But "escolar?" That sounds like it might be English. What is it, anyways?

Escolar (Lepidocybium flavobrunneum) is found in deep, tropical waters around the world. It is related to oilfish. It is often mislabeled, leading to caveat emptor around anything labelled "butterfish." In fact, it can be mislabelled as almost any other fish on the planet. It is possibly the most dangerous fish on the market.  Oh my. 

 Escolar has a serious consequences if eaten in excess. The technical term for it is keriorrhea. In English, that means you get nasty bowel movements and urinate yellow oil. Escolar do not metabolize oil as well as some, so we get stuck excreting it instead. For the record, the safe amount is 6 ounces.

The good news: it can taste really good. As a fattier fish, it tastes very rich. It has been described as having a laxative effect. Despite the side-effects, escolar remains popular due to the taste and other effects.  In other words, it's the illegal drug of the fish trade.

The irony? Escolar is banned in Japan and Italy. The Japanese government considers escolar toxic, and these are the people who eat fugu.If a roll has escolar on it, it sure as hell isn't traditional. It's tricky; escolar is often mislabelled as white tuna, Atlantic cod, or other fishy things. It is usually either illegal or issued a fact sheet...except in the United States. Even Hong Kong has limits on it, and they make low-quality stuff on a regular basis. Enjoy illegal sushi!

Newsflash: Neat Footage of a Giant Squid.

In case you haven't seen it already, here's footage of a giant squid that surfaced (ha-ha) some 3-odd days ago: 



This footage was caught in a collaborative effort between Discovery Channel and the NHK, a major Japanese television network. It took over 100 tries to get that video. The two used "ultra-sensitive camera systems with light invisible to squid, bio luminescent lures and secret squid attractants" to get the squid close to their very special camera. Congrats on succeeding!

The unique thing about this footage is that it shows a giant squid in its natural habitat. Prior, we had only found dead specimens. Giant squid live in the abyssal depths of the sea, so they are very hard to catch on film. We knew they existed simply because those carcasses had to come from something. This is the first time we've seen one alive. It's a treat.

The video, combined with a few other dead specimens, has revealed some terrifying things about this sought-after sea monster. For example, it has "eight arms and "two very, very long tentacles which it uses to grasp its prey." Its limbs have suckers lined with sharp teeth." (That article is wrong about Scylla, BTW; the popularization of Scylla as a tentacled monster strays very far from the original woman with dog heads extending from her waist.) This is sounding more and more like nightmare fuel.

So, so far, seamen have been right about sea serpents and giant cephalopods. If a real mermaid (not a dugong) comes up, I'm going to start wanting a swig of their rum. Monsters are real, guys. Oh, and if Cthulhu awakens, causing mass-insanity? Don't say this blog didn't warn you.

Creature Feature: Dugong.

Ever wonder how stories of mermaids got started? Like, who decided to put a hot lady on a fish's body? It was obviously someone very drunk and/or creative. It's not like a normal person could look at any sea mammal and go, "hey, that looks like a woman with a tail! I should say hi."

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Oh, hell. With a tail like that and a little bit of liquor, that could totally pass for a mermaid.

That, by the way, is a dugong (Dugong dugon). No, not Dewgong- the animal came first. Dugongs are sirenids, making them related to manatees and, more loosely, elephants, tenrecs, and hyraxes. They live in most of the warmer waters around the world, including those around Africa, Australia, China, and the islands around those areas. They are mostly herbivorous, but some populations are omnivores, munching on invertebrates when grass is not available.

For those of you curious about the nomenclature, the odd name comes from the Malayan word for "mermaid." The idea seems pretty universal, with people all the way in Kenya considering dugongs feminine. Indonesians even consider them reincarnations of women. If any sea mammal can be considered a basis or mermaids, this is the one. Instant mermaid: just add rum.

(c) Mandy Episton.

 

That said, outside of being mermaids, dugongs are fascinating creatures. The tail is fluked like that of a whale or dolphin; this allows it to 'stand' in shallower waters and keep its head above the sea in order to take a breath. Speaking of, dugong lungs are very long, extending all the way down to their kidneys. This arrangement helps balance out the dugong's buoyant blubber.

The dugong is always culturally-significant in the areas in which it is found. Catching a dugong can be seen as either good or bad luck, depending on where you go. In Thailand, the tears are an aphrodisiac; the Indians are more rational and use its meat for sexual potency. The list of things dugong can be used for goes on, possibly into the Bible.

Under the sea, under the sea~

Alas, the dugong is nearing endangered status, and it's entirely our fault. Its meat, oil, skin, and bones are all valuable. They are big, docile, and slow-moving, making them easy targets.  Let's not even get into how humans are polluting the ocean and cutting up sea cows with boats. Once you learn that everybody eats dugong meat, all other reasons seem miniscule by comparison. Luckily, most areas with dugongs have some regulations on hunting them. Good luck enforcing that.

Oh, and yes, dugong has a Poke-sona in Dewgong, the evolution of Seel. Real dugongs, however, cannot handle icy water period, let alone swim through it at high speeds. Sorry, but this Water-Type will not be learning Ice Beam aaaany time soon. Still, save the mermaids!

Creature Feature: Zebra Sharks.

Sharks don't get enough love. Along with snakes and wolves, they are among the moat falsely-demonized animals in the modern media. Nothing makes people scatter quite like a triangluar fin above the surface of the water.  Thanks, Jaws - thanks a lot.

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Zebra sharks (Stegostoma fasciatum) are among the awesome sharks that do not deserve a Jaws reputation. They can be found in the Indo-Pacific, or "anywhere from South Africa to Australia."  They eat fish, molluscs, crustaceans, and maybe even sea snakes. These sharks are nocturnal, so unless you happen to enjoy diving at night, don't expect to see one moving around much. They can usually be found chilling on the bottom of the sand near some coral.

At first glance, the zebra shark has none of the "sleek predator" features that Great Whites or tiger sharks have. The zebra shark is a carpet shark; along with having a nice pattern, it spends most of its time on the bottom instead of swimming menacingly up top. The location of the mouth on the bottom of its body and its overall appearance almost make it look more like a catfish than a shark.  It doesn't even swim like Jaws -it swims like an eel.

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By the way, wondering why a spotted shark is called a "zebra?" The shark pups are striped, that's why! The young zebra sharks look more like young whale sharks than anything. The white lines and black bars soon make way for an almost cheetah-like look as the shark grows older. The young sharks look so different from their parents, in fact, that science thought that mother and child were two different species.

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Zebra sharks are 100% harmless to humans. In many areas of the shark's range, they are even marketed as scuba diving attractions. It is perfectly possible to touch a wild zebra shark, just because they're chill like that. Just don't do anything stupid; people who try to ride the sharks can still get bitten. Jumping the sharks doesn't sound like a wise move, either. You don't have to tell your friends that zebra sharks are harmless; just say "I touched a shark" and watch their eyes widen.

Remember when we had an entry on eating sharks? In part because of their docility, zebra sharks are the most eaten sharks on the planet. These are the sharks used in the infamous shark fin soup. The liver is also used medicinally. This over-hunting has nudged the zebra shark onto the "vulnerable" status, but worry not; these docile sharks have a super-strong presence in captivity. You've got plenty of time to pet a shark.

Creature Feature: Unicorn Tang.

While I was in San Antonio, a strange, white fish with a horn caught my attention in the Rainforest Cafe's fish tank. I posted a pic of it on my Twitter; no luck with identifiication. A month later, in Houston, I finally got a name for it: unicorn tang. No, Rarity from My Little Pony is not sponsoring the orange juice of astronauts, although that would be funny.

The unicorn tang (Naso unicornis) is a surgeonfish sporting a single strange horn above its nose.  It is native to most warm, tropical waters, including those around Hawaii and Polynesia. It is a herbivore, feeding on algae.It may also pick on bits of meat in captivity.

There are a few types of unicorn tang, but they all have one thing in common: a horn above their noses. The horn starts growing when the tang hits the six inch mark (in N. unicornus). It breaks off against coral and nets. Nobody knows what this horn is used for. We do, however, know that it doesn't heal the sick like the horn of a 'real' unicorn.

Perhaps more impressive, than the horn are the hidden spikes above the fish's tail. Each unicorn tang has two sets of these blades, making them double trouble if mishandled. These tail blades are used for defending themselves and protecting their territory. This unicorn packs a kick, and it doesn't even have legs.

Unicorn tangs are uncommon in the exotic pet trade. They need at least 180 gallons, if not more, to be comfortable. This big fish maxes out around 2 feet, making it unsuitable for most home tanks. Unicorn tangs are considered peaceful most of the time, but can be aggressive with other tangs. There are currently regulations on catching unicorn fish; This does not stop people from doing it. Ask where your aquarium specialist got his fish on, please.

Mollusc Week: Japanese Flying Squid.

You knewJapan was going to make it on here. Somehow, somewhere, the oceans around Japan, AKA the Weirdness Archipelago, would turn up a mollusc so weird that this blog would have to cover it. Remember, the Japanese culture eats everything it possibly can from the sea; weird is on the menu. One could not expect, however, that Japan would be weird enough to yield baby eldritch overlords.

Baby Cthulhu, AKA the Japanese/Pacific Flying Squid (Todarodes pacificus), is exactly what it says on the label: A squid native to the Pacific Ocean around Japan down to Vietnam that, of all things, flies. All squid are predatory, so if you happen to see one of these hovering above you, your brains may not be safe. Squid have never been known to eat human organs, but there's always a first time. 

Now, like many "flying" animals, flying squid do not actually fly. The extended fins on their mantles are not capable of powered flight. They can glide up to 50 meters to avoid predators; while not impressive compared to arboreal creatures, that's still pretty far for whatever was trying to eat the squid. They also glide looking backwards, a feat that mammals and fish have only thought of in their wildest dreams. Wildest, stoned dreams.

They are, however, jet-powered gliders. The squid gets in the air via the same mechanic that it shoots out ink: jet propulsion. These squid simply get the eff out of the area instead of shooting ink. While this squid may not actually be able to fly, it's closer than most gliding animals simply by having a built-in engine. Rocky the flying squirrel doesn't count.

Worry not. These are small squid that are easily confused for flying fish. They only fly to escape...as far as we know. The cephalopod apocalypse is not near, but if we see bigger squid flying? Godzilla might be necessary. Also, get all the sushi chefs on this, pronto.