Week of the Abyss Cont'd.: Walking batfish.

Yes, that is a fish...and it's walking.  Creationists beware: You have found your proof that Darwin was right.

Just when you thought anglerfish could get no weirder, the walking batfish crawls up and says "hello." They are native to nearly all oceans, and can also be found in shallower waters. More on those varieties later.

Fish-people are inevitable.

 

The walking batfish (Family Ogcocephalidae) barely looks like a fish at first glance. Its pectoral fins have been modified to walk on the ocean floor. With limbs so adapted for walking, batfish are poor swimmers. They are also proof that Dagon is, in fact, raising an army in the depths. Shh, keep that one a secret between us.

All species of batfish are predatory. Like other anglerfish, they have a lure (properly called an "esca") at the end of their long noses. Instead of using light like most other species, however, this lure emits a chemical bait. Abyssal hunters tend to be very lazy; all the fish has to do is snap prey up. They usually eat worms, fish, and small crustaceans.

I'm Batfish. And

Several species of New World batfish live in shallower waters. These species are...colorful, to say the least. One could honestly wonder whether the fish above was a poor PhotoShop job. One species, the Louisiana Pancake Batfish, was damaged by the Gulf spill early last year, so please pay it a visit while you still can. People who know about this weird fish have been bemoaning its decline thanks to the spill.

Oh, and by the way: This is one of the few abyssal creatures that one can actually keep as a pet. There are several videos of these fish walking in aquaria and a few care sheets floating around. The requirements for batfish are kind of specific, but we almost guarantee that nobody else on the block will have one.

Week of the Abyss cont'd.: Comb Jellies.

The video speaks for itself: UFOs are officially underwater. The blinking lights look more fit for a spaceship than a living thing. Yet, we swear to whatever god exists, the video above is footage of a living creature.

 

Comb jellies are not even tangentially related to true jellyfish. They have their own phylum, Ctenophora, making this entry one of the biggest 'blanket entries' on this blog. The phylum is somewhere between sponges and cnidarians. They are quite abundant, spanning all marine environments at virtually all depths. That includes the deep, where they are particularly common.

Comb jellies (and their phylum) derive their name from the rows of cilia along their bodies. They are the largest animals that move via cilia (see also: Paramecium). Most modern comb jellies have 8 rows of cilia, allowing them to move like oversized protozoans while sparkling. They do not technically glow in the dark...but you could've fooled us, nature.

Hey, it gets the ladies.

 

All comb jellies are predatory. They will eat roughly anything that fits in their pitcher plant-ish mouth. That includes fish larvae, jellies, other comb jellies, and the ever-popular copepods. The hunting technique varies with the species: some lie in wait, others chase, and still others use tentacles like spider webs. That said, they wreck ecosystems when they are accidentally introduced; the Black Sea got hit with a North Atlantic comb jelly that will likely get its own entry.

Comb jellies one of the oldest animal groups known to man. They have been around since at least the Devonian according to a remarkable fossil record. Some ctenophores were found in the Burgess Shale, which sported many specimens of sea life from the mid-Cambrian Period (505 m.y.a). From these preserved specimens, we know that older comb jellies had more mounted combs than their modern counterparts, and that some of them had very big mouths. There is no say on whether these comb jellies glowed like UFO's or not.



We personally hope they did.

Week of the Abyss cont'd: Giant Isopods.

There's more to the deep sea abyss than long teeth and pretty lights. Although the great majority of the abyssal fish we've covered so far are relatively small, the abyss is home to some true monsters. There is a concept called "deep sea gigantism" that posits that many deep sea animals are larger than their shallow-water counterparts. Nobody really knows why except in the case of tube worms, which are...special.

For everything else, we must assume that the deep sea abyss exists to make us humans believe that there is a hell, and that it is filled with things like this:

 

Actually, that's kinda cute. What is it?

Giant isopods (genus Bathynomus; Bathynomus giganteus is a favorite) are the abyss's version of the roly-poly, woodlouse, or pillbug. They are native to all oceans with very little difference between species. If you took one of those little stunted millipedes (actually crustaceans), then supersized it to a little over a foot in length, you would have a giant isopod. It's an isopod and it's giant.

Giant isopods are vicious scavengers. They prefer meat, but will take what they can get in the depths of the sea. Once they find a good chunk of meat -say, a whale carcass - they will gorge themselves to the point of being rendered immobile. On the surface world, they will still eat anything they can get, including Doritos.

 

These oversized pillbugs actually do remarkably well on land. This allows them to be easily studied in comparison to other types of abyssal life. We know that the peak mating time for giant isopods is between winter and spring. Most of them are caught in the Americas, and then put in aquaria with relatively few issues. Given that most abyssal things with spinal cords do not last a day in aquaria, this is quite a feat.

The giant isopod holds the unique honor of being the most memetastic of all abyssal life forms. Not only do they have a lot of funny pictures (both PhotoShopped and real), they have a whole CD's worth of songs. Sure, there are only 5 songs, but this is the most random crustacean-related music I've seen since I heard "Triops Has Three Eyes."

This is a thing.

Week of the Abyss cont'd.:Viperfish.

We've said it before and we'll say it again: If you add "fish" onto almost every word in the English dictionary, there is probably a real creature to match. Some of these matches are justified. Others not so much. The viperfish most certainly is, even though it is not venomous in the least. Just...



...what else WOULD you call this?

Viperfish (genus Chauliodus) range from 1-2 feet (30-60 cm) in length and, yes, are fierce predators. They are native to tropical waters. Their lifespan is uncertain, with speculations ranging from 30-40 years in the wild.  Again, this is the week of the abyss continued; viperfish spend the majority of their time in pitch darkness, but venture up to lighter depths occasionally. Both sharks and dolphins have been known to prey upon viperfish.



The most striking thing about this fish are, of course, those disproportionately huge teeth. The bottom teeth on this fish are so big that they curve behind the fish's head. Like many abyssal predators, the viperfish uses a light lure to get little fishies curious before immobilizing prey with its long teeth, meaning that the viperfish does not need to swim far or fast to get a meal.

That is not all the light lure is used for. Unlike anglerfish, viperfish have been shown communicating with each other using their natural lamps. Does this show pack hunting - perhaps even intelligent behavior- within the depths of darkness?  Perhaps their name ought to be changed to "raptorfish" if they show coordinated attacks. There is still much to learn.

Although not as well-received as the anglerfish in popular culture, the viperfish is a fairly popular deepsea fish. Artists absolutely love this thing - after all, what says "fierce" better than a mouth with teeth so big that they barely fit? This is probably the most kickass head tattoo I have ever seen - not that I would EVER do something like that myself. 

Week of the Abyss: Giant Tube Worms.

If fish and eels were not freaky enough, nature really gets crazy with worms in the sea. Even without diving into the abyss, while we're more or less stuck with earthworms and leeches on land, annelids have Christmas Tree Worms and the rather unflattering pig-butt worm among their more interesting members in the ocean.

Things get even weirder in the abyss, where the harmless earthworm becomes a species whose sole purpose in life is bad hentai potential:

 

Permanently stuck around the geothermal vents ("black smokers") of the deep sea, these giant tube worms (Riftia pachyptila) are some of the largest annelids in existence. They can get 2.4 meters (7 feet ten inches) in length. Those tentacles can be pulled into the worms' white sheaths when danger approaches, not that they have many predators.

The tentacles on these worms are red for a reason: like our blood, they contain hemoglobin. The red tentacles have complex hemoglobins circulating in them, which allows them to circulate oxygen in a highly sulfuric environment. They are not poisoned by the hydrogen sulfide in their environment- instead, they benefit from taking in a substance that would kill any other animal.

Hell's lipstick.

If the tentacles coming out of their tubes were not creepy enough, imagine a 7-foot-long creature that lives solely on symbiotic bacteria. The bacteria in these worms is designed to convert hydrogen sulfide and carbon dioxide - basically, the stuff that Hell is made of - into usable material for the worm. These giant worms do not eat and have no gut. The millions of bacteria inside them do all the work. They're almost more like fungi than animals.

Hope you enjoyed the absolute nightmare fuel found in the deep, deep sea! Since weeks have been stunted, expect a bonus abyssal critter or two next week as well. :)

Week of the Abyss: Umbrella Mouth Gulper Eel.

Raise your hand if, after the "They Actually Eat That" entry on eel pie, you went to a sushi store and got some non-jellied eels. No? Nobody? Then we agree that regular eels are already somewhat creepy. In the abyss, however, nature takes everything up to eleven...

...including eels. Technically, the Umbrella-mouth gulper eel/pelican eel (Eurypharynx pelecanoides) is not even a real eel, but what else would you call it? This eel-like fish is native to all tropical and subtropical areas of the sea. Like all things this week, it can only be found at depths where the sun doesn't shine. Even for eels, it is creepy in its simplicity: No scales, limited fins, and very low swimming capability.

The most noticable trait about this eel is, of course, its jaw. The pelican eel's lower jaw can theoretically stretch large enough to swallow food that is bigger than the whole fish. Despite this awesome jaw, however, the eel's diet consists of tiny prey such as small crustaceans and plankton. Unlike anglerfish, it has tiny teeth. What a relief!

Like many things in the deep, the pelican eel glows in the dark. At the end of the eel's whiplike tail is a lure made of glowing, red tentacles. It's just enough to distract little things from that giant mouth waiting to swallow them up from behind...

Is that a hungry eel, or is it just happy to see us?

The pelican eel has received enough publicity to get its own Pokemon in Huntail. Like the pipefish-chimaera Gorebyss, Huntail evolves from Clamperl and is based off of deep sea life. The sprite even glows in the dark in some games. Know this beast well; as of Gen V, it will become more and more competitive with the addition of Shell Smash, and if they do rerelease Gen III games for the 3DS, wellll....pray to whatever god you believe in that they don't.

Huntail is the thing that ISN'T an anglerfish.

Week of the Abyss: Wolf-Trap Anglerfish

Say the words "deep-sea life" and the anglerfish is probably the one that will pop to most people's minds. Rightfully so; with head-lures, creepy jaws, and an almost nonexistent male that turns females into self-impregnating hermaphrodites, it makes sense that they would be the abyssal fish.

If you know nature, however, you know that she loves kicking things up to eleven. The phrase "There's always a bigger fish" mutates into "there's always a weirder fish" in regards to the deep-sea abyss. In this case, imagine if someone took an anglerfish and fused it with the Xenomorph from Alien. You would get something like this:



Yes, that is a real thing, not some monster somebody drew out of their nightmares. It's a wolftrap anglerfish, also called a "wonderfish" from the family name Thaumathichthyidae.  We're not sure in exactly what way this fish is wonderful aside from the mere fact that something that creepy exists. The "wolf trap" name comes from the jaws. Like other anglers, it lives in depths at which the sun does not reach.

Just...look at that thing. Its jaws are just plain nuts; if what we've seen is any indication, some wolftraps have the upper lip flipped up, exposing those nasty teeth to whatever happens to be above them. People say those jaws look like a wolf trap. Looking at them, we have to agree that any animal unfortunate enough to get caught by those teeth will be whimpering.

 

Wolftraps also have better hooks than the average anglerfish. Instead of simply being a light lure above nasty jaws, these things have sophisticated fishing rods above even nastier jaws. Species can be classified based on how complex their fishing rods are, complete with glowing baits. Some rods even have little hooks on them, just like ours.

Oh, and all weirdness that applies to anglerfishes applies to these girls, obviously. The only wolftraps ever caught have been hermaphroditic/parasitized females. It's safe to assume that all the nightmare fuel that comes with 'normal' anglerfishes applies to wolftraps as well. Sleep tight.

Creature Feature: Dumbo Octopus.

The deepsea abyss is full of things that you thought only existed in nightmares. There are things with diminished eyes, huge jaws, tentacles, and other traits that make one wonder if R'lyeh was really Atlantis at some point. Maybe H.P. Lovecraft was right about evil gods living at the bottom of the ocean.



For example, this is baby Cthulhu. Or, if you prefer, the Dumbo octopus (genus Grimpoteuthis). Dumbo octopuses live in the abyssal depths of 3-4,000 meters, feeding on worms, bivalves, copepods, and, presumably, human souls. The largest of the Dumbo octopuses are 1.8 meters in length (almost 6 feet) but most of these cephalopods are smaller.

The Dumbo octopus gets its name from the cute earlike flaps on its head. They make it look somewhat like Disney's classic flying elephant as it swims through the water. It also has another method of crawling along the bottom in which it flattens itself into a pancake, which is just as adorable. This other style gives it the name "flapjack octopus."

As creatures of the abyss, they do not need the sophisticated camouflage seen in other octopus species. Instead, they employ light tricks similar to those of the vampire squid. They can do anything from making their skin glow to making it completely clear. When you live in a place with so little light, color does not matter nearly as much. They also have no suckers, simply because they do not need them.

Alas, Dumbo octopuses are rare. Some researchers have even called them the rarest of all cephalopods. As abyssal sea creatures and octopuses, they also fare poorly in captivity. They would probably make adorable pets if only we could keep them! Good thing this mini-Cthulhu is one of the least terrifying creatures this week.

Theme Week: Week of the Abyss.

After Halloween, it was time for another terrifying theme week. Frankenstein and They Actually Eat that will naturally break the mold of this week's theme: THE UNHOLY ABYSS, WHERE LIGHT DOES NOT REACH!

Seriously, though? There's some weird stuff once you cut off all light from the ocean floor. Go down deep enough and there are things that glow in the dark and live entirely without plants, sunlight, or fresh water. It's the sort of stuff you find in your nightmares. Or H.P. Lovecraft, take your pick.



Happy Halloween 2.0!