Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Wizard Did It: Super-strength.

OK, we're cheating a little on this one. Wizards don't usually have super strength - if anything, their STR stat is usually very low, meaning that a hit from that nasty-looking staff will only cause eight hit points' worth of damage at best. It's still a superpower, and definitely worth covering this week.


Das Uberboy - real name unknown -  was born with muscles that would make Schwarzenegger cry. He is currently an eleven-year-old child living in Germany, hopefully beating up school bullies who would otherwise steal kids' lunch money. He's been lifting 6.6-pound weights since the age of 5; we sure hope he has a sense of justice!

Das Uberboy is among the rare specimens of humanity to exhibit double muscling. The gene for myostatin is just plain gone in this kid. Genetically, there is nothing to stop his muscles from growing. Remember bully whippets and Belgian Blue cattle? Same thing, only in humans. (Hell, given that his mother and grandfather were athletes, this may well have been inherited in the exact same way.)

Just to remind you, whippets usually look like little greyhounds.

Scientists are currently interested in Das Uberboy so that they may cure diseases that affect muscle such as muscular dystrophy. Das Uberboy may also explain why some people are naturally stronger than others. Legal performance enhancers are also a possibility. There are, however, some worries about satellite cells, which may create a muscular 'burnout' and deplete muscle later in life. How many people using this will be REALLY worried about the long term, again?

A loooong time ago, Friedrich Nietzsche talked about Das Ubermensh. This child was probably not what he had in mind, but Das Uberboy is still cool. Alas, there are very few pictures of the boy, so please make due with this article.

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