Creature Feature: Featherless Chickens.

Going green is a huge deal nowadays. Basically, we've realized that a whole lot of Earth's resources - fossil fuels, fresh water, wood - are finite, especially if we keep using them at the rate we have been. The meat industry happens to be one of the least green industries out there, responsible for as much greenhouse gases as public transportation (if not more). So, if we told you that some scientists had designed a greener, more energy-efficient chicken, you would assume that there was some horrible catch, right?

Umm...does a chicken with a big "fry me" sign written on it due to lack of feathers strike you as a  "horrible catch?"

The "featherless" or "naked" chickens were developed by scientists at the Rehovot Agronomy Institute located near Tel Aviv, Israel in the early 2000's. They are not genetically spliced with something that makes 'em lose their feathers. They have been selectively bred that way without the use of other organisms, so no complaining about Frankenfood. We would nonetheless like to add "zombiebird" to the list of potential names for the rooster above.

This chicken is not only easy to cook, but it is supposedly greener than your average chicken. Supposedly, it grows faster and is more energy efficient. Overheating is a real problem for chickens, especially in hotter climates. Too much heat might even lead to ugly, irregular molting, so the next best idea after turning up the A/C is to breed a chicken that doesn't have feathers to begin with.They are also supposedly low-fat.

Breeding a featherless chicken also saves considerable time and water on the part of farmers. If you have ever skinned, de-scaled, or de-feathered a fresh kill, you know that it is very time-consuming. On large-scale farms, the feathers are washed off, so breeding for no feathers curbs the fresh water issue, too. Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it?

There are some cons to having no feathers, obviously. These birds can live in exactly one climate: Hot and dry. Everywhere else, they have problems. No feathers means no protection from cold, parasites, or even the pecking of other chickens. Speaking of other chickens, plumage is also an important part of chicken mating rituals. I don't know what the human equivalent of this would be; it's just plain unattractive to be a featherless chicken.

Can selective breeding for exactly one trait really have that much impact on the farming potential of one animal? Sure. Anything with "Angora" in its name tends to do better in Ankara, Turkey, than anywhere else. Those animals are mainly bred for extremely long hair and are clearly meant for that climate. These chickens are also meant for a specific climate. If we see chicken meat coming in from Israel, we'll know that their zombiebird project was a success.

Creature Feature: Freak Week- Polish Chicken.

Being Polish sucks. Your heritage becomes associated with idiocy, sausage, little dumplings, and a language with way too many consonants than is sane for a tongue utilizing the Roman alphabet. Just about the only cool thing going for Poland is that its name is associated with a rather badass chicken.



...Yeah, that's too cool to be from Poland. The Polish chicken (Gallus gallus domesticus) was standardized in the Netherlands, even though they came to Poland through Mongolia first. Way to mooch Poland's one awesome thing.


Born to rock!

Polish chickens (sometimes simply called "Polands") sport a big, poofy crest of feathers on their heads (in both hens and cocks). They are actually coneheads, making the crest poof up like so many celebrity coats and hairstyles. As with most chickens whose color is not a breed standard, the Polish chicken comes in a variety of colors, and can even work with other breeds of chicken to make them even fluffier:



Though originally bred for eggs, Polish chickens have clearly become showbirds. Their eggs are still praised for whiteness, but that comes second to looking like the guy from Labyrinth.


If your main job was to look like a rock star that made teenage girls swoon and commanded goblins, everything else would come second, too.

Creature Feature: Golden Pheasant.

This journal simply cannot have enough galliformes, can it? That is probably so because many birds (usually the males) look like little works of art. You can just picture the golden pheasants (Chrysolophus pictus) up there being in a museum painting (or a fantasy RPG...take your pick). Again, the females are far more drab than the fellows above.

The males, however, look almost like colorful fish (Betta splendens, I'm looking at you). Though native to China, they are frequently seen in aviaries and gardens in Europe. Many captive specimens are impure(mixed with Lady Amherst's pheasant), but no less pretty. ;)

(Also, galliforme entries are short!)

Creature Feature: The Ring-Necked Pheasant and the Prarie Chicken.

Now THIS is a chicken dance.

I know, I know: Why am I doing another common creature? Chickens and pheasants do not sound particularly impressive, but these two have an interesting relationship that is worth a look.

The ring-necked pheasant (Phasianus colchicus) is a pretty bird. As with most galliformes, the male is flashy, while the female is considerably more drab. You have probably seen a million of these birds in old hunting portraits. That's hardly surprising; they have traveled across the world as popular game birds. Wherever humans go, the pheasants go. (Note: As of right now, I have seen no info about these pheasants in Australia.)

Now, meet the Greater Prairie-Chicken (Tympanuchus cupido). It is native to Illinois. The males and females are about the same size, but, as with the pheasant, the males are considerably brighter. Males have bright yellow neck patches, and fill them with air to 'boom' as shown in the video. They are one of the few birds that mate in leks- short, organized competitions to win the hearts of hens. They are very wary of human development; they avoid power lines, and many of the flat areas used for their mating rituals are threatened by habitat loss.

With just a LITTLE more acid, this thing could fit on Pandora.

What the hell are these two galliformes doing on the same page? For the love of green apples, why do they both matter?

Long story short, the invasive pheasants are douchebags to the prairie-chickens and many other birds. The female pheasant lays her own eggs in the nest of the prairie-chicken. Since the pheasant chicks hatch out first, the female assumes the nestling is hers, and her own eggs die. If you know anything about cuckoo birds, this should sound familiar.

Humans have a history of wrecking other species' lives. It's one thing to introduce a species that replaces another's ecological niche, but a whole new level of sick to introduce a nest parasite. Sure, doing so took some burden off of hunting North American birds, but this COULD get as bad as rabbits in Australia.

The prairie-chickens will probably be gone within a decade; enjoy them while they last. Those air sacs and crests on the male could easily be monster fodder. While you're at it, when was the last time that a monster creator put enough effort into their ecology to design interspecific relationships like this? Get creative!

...What? YOU GOT A HUGE, COLORFUL ARTICLE TODAY. Don't complain.