A Week of Hogwash: Kunekune Pigs.

Pigs are one of the more common domesticated animals on the planet. They have been kept by humans since at least 11,400 B.C.E., and have had two independent instances of domestication. Able to eat almost anything, the Chinese used them almost like a garbage disposal for table scraps. With all that history, we have to have at least one weird pig breed out there...right?

Source. With piggies for sale.

Ta-da! It's a bunch of Kunekune piglets! They are all members of a rare breed from New Zealand. The breed supposedly spawned from Asian pigs brought to the Maori in the 19th century. They are known for being fuzzy, easy to handle, and surprisingly colorful for swine. The word "kunekune" means "fat and round" - an apt name for any pig, really.

Less charming as adults.

There are two main features of the Kunekune: its fur and its wattles. Unlike the more common farm swine, Kunekune are furry like wild pigs. They come in a variety of colors, including black, ginger, and white with black spots. Some Kunekune pigs also have fleshy protrusions called piri piri. They're reminiscent of the wattles on goats, but are kinda rare in pigs.



As this video from Animal Kingdom indicates, Kunekune pigs are very popular at petting zoos. They can also live just fine on grass, as opposed to foraging and tearing up lawns. It helps further that they are miniature by pig standards- they weigh 240 pounds, tops. Yes, that is indeed small for a pig. It also makes them one of the ideal pet pigs if you are so inclined.

Alas, as far as pigs go, Kunekune pigs are rare. The breed went nearly extinct in the 1980's. Breeding programs in New Zealand and the United Kingdom are the only reason Kunekune pigs are still around. If a prospective pig owner can find one, great - they're intelligent (like most pigs!) and easy to train. Just be prepared, unlike a certain member of the Simpson family - Spider-Pig does not a good pet make. 

Freak Week IV: White Laboratory Rats.

Sometimes, domesticated animals become so normalized that we forget they're effectively freaks. Dogs are a good example; they can deliver quite a nasty bite and are noisy at night. This is not the case with lab rats. Despite Ratatouille's best intentions, there are still more people who freak out around rats than around dogs.

Before you go "aren't rats exotic?", no, these laboratory rats are most definitely domesticated. They are calmer, have smaller organs, and produce more offspring than their wild counterparts. Despite being able to breed with wild rats, these rats are derived from Victorian fancy rats. Fancy rats have been domesticated since he Victorian era, and even if they hadn't been, someone would have eventually made pet rats simply because of their intelligence and proximity to humans.

Onto albino lab rats - the typical white rats seen in science labs. Rats have been used as test subjects for centuries. The first test done on rats was in 1828. Soon, rats became the first animals deliberately bred for scientific research. They have since been used to test...almost anything that could possibly happen in a human body. Really.

Depending on what factor is being tested, a different white rat may be better than another. The different strains of albino rat are meant to be as genetically identical as rodent-ly possible.  That said, the whole genome of Rattus norvegicus has been very easy to sequence because of this extensive captive breeding.

There are several strains of albino rat used in scientific research. The most common is the Wistar rat, which dates back as far as 1906. It was the original lab rat strain and is still commonly used today. The tail of a Wistar is always shorter than the body, and the head and ears are longer than average. This is the generic "test rat," although there are more genetically-stable, outbred strains that don't have a fancy name.

That said, there are other kinds of lab rats aside from the standard albino varieties. Some are bred to get diabetes. Others have tumors bred into them. A variety of "fuzzy" rat gets kidney failure after one year of life. There is even one strain of rat that is bred to be morbidly obese, just so that people can test diet products on them. The list goes on, and all of them merit an inclusion in Freak Weeks. All of them.

Freak Week IV: Rhodesian Ridgeback.

For whatever reason, cops have been killing a lot of puppies, lately. There have been way too many instances of cops shooting family dogs, so yes, the government does kill puppies. This one happened right near where I live...and features a breed that I had not even heard about until this incident: The Rhodesian Ridgeback.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are one of those "what else would you call it?" dogs. From Rhodesia in Zimbabwe, these strange dogs have been around since the 16th and 17th centuries (when the Cape Colony was being settled). The official standard dates back to 1922.  They are intelligent, mischievous, active dogs that require stimulation, but can be great pets so long as they are handled well.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks get their name for one very obvious trait: a ridge of hair on their spines that grows in the opposite direction from the rest of the hairs on its body. The original Ridgeback from Zimbabwe, as well as the Thai Ridgeback (one of the oldest dog breeds), also have this strange development. It looks like mostly an aesthetic thing that helps cement the breed as opposed to something useful.

PUPPIES! - Source.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are all-around awesome dogs. They're hunters, retrievers, and great family pets. They're actually called "lion dogs" because they can hunt lions once unleashed in a pack. That said, this dog needs a lot of exercise, and has endurance that would make a marathon runner keel over. They do have issues with hip dyplasia and cancer, so even being a badass otherwise doesn't make them problem-free.

Another downside: Ridgebacks can play a little rough. If you don't assert your dominance, then they can get destructive. Is that any reason to shoot one? No. There is no way for this dog to be confused for a coyote or whatever. Some officer just up and shot a family pet. This is not cool....but on the bright side, it inspired a blog entry. My condolences; that sounded like a great dog.

Creature Feature: Texas Longhorn.

Honesty time: I tried to resist doing this one. Texas Longhorns are awesome, but at first I thought them better for Freak Week. The juices simply refused to flow for bald cypress (a moderately interesting swamp conifer), and I'd already done cochineal in the OLD entry on scale insects. Cotton might have been interesting, but c'mon...it's Texas.

Texas Longhorns are, no kidding, a cattle breed native to Texas. Thanks to mixing with feral cattle, Texas Longhorns have no specific patterning - just huge horns. The closest related breeds are in Portugal; the Longhorn breed itself was established in the 1500's. The highest ever paid for a Longhorn was 140,000 USD, and exceptionally good lines can still fetch into the 40,000's. Even the cows of this breed have amazing horns.

The most obvious feature to pick on is, of course, the longhorn's headgear. Although not as impressive as Ankole-Watutsi horns, a Texas Longhorn's signature horns can get up to 7 feet long from tip to tip. As morbid as this sounds, their skulls do look amazing in a den. That said, they're pricey.

Longhorn cattle are very tough cows. They can find food and shelter all on their own in case of emergencies. They calve easily, which is one of the reasons to add them to breeding stock.This hardiness led to them being popular until the 1900's, at which point environmental durability and lean meat were no longer selling factors. With the demand for lean or free-range meat on the rise, Texas Longhorns have seen another surge in popularity.

The Texas Longhorn, alongside the Holstein, has to be among the most recognized cattle out there. Nothing says "southwest" like a bovine head with those horns. Texas uses them as a mascot for everything, even a women's basketball team. If you haven't seen a Texas Longhorn and live in the U.S., you must be living under a rock...or just unaware of exactly what you're looking at in those old westerns.

This looks awesome. People mess with horses; they do not mess with 7 feet of horn.

Who Let The Dogs Out: Komondor.

You may have noticed a trend for this week: Small dogs tend to be weird. Versatile as the canid genome may be, abusing it is not without its faults. The weirdest dogs also tend to be from China, but that's beside the point.

As if to prove that not all weird dogs are small, we have the Komondor. This guy looks similar to the Puli, another Hungarian dog with a mop for fur, but is quite a bit larger. The breed has been recognized by the AKC since 1937. Although not quite Chinese, the Komondor's ancestors do hail from Tibet.  It's still cool enough to be one of Hungary's national treasures.

The Komondor's coat consists of white cords that look like albino dreadlocks. This was originally used to prevent bites from wolves that would attack sheep flocks; no matter how cool wolves are, they just can't bite through an organic mop. The moppy coat can only be white in a Komondor, so if you want black or grey, try a Puli. No, they do not come in pastel pink or any other color that would suggest that they can be treated like Crimp n' Curl Cabbage Patch Dogs. Even the Puli would be slightly offended by that; Komondors are even more serious business.

They look more like poodles as puppies. Laugh while you can.

Komondors are guard dogs. They do not even need to be told to guard sheep and cattle. There is a saying that a Komondor might let an intruder into the house, but will never let them out, leaving the helpless soul pinned under the dog's weight (which can be upwards of 80 pounds). They are always wary of strangers. That said, early socialization of these dogs is a must.

Aside from their protective temperament, Komondors have very few health problems compared to every toy breed ever. The main problems are with the eyes, including cataracts and inversion of the eyelid. Bloat is a problem in all large dogs. Due to the heavy coat, parasites are common. That coat also requires a lot of maintenance. Budget accordingly. 

Komondors may look silly to us, but they are not goofballs. The breed has the ability to think independently and has been praised for its strength, valor and courage over the centuries. They are still pretty popular today, especially for shows and livestock hunting. Don't let the haircut fool you; this dog will not back down from wolves.

Who Let The Dogs Out?: Pugs.

Humans have a very weird definition of "cute." Generally, if it has big eyes, a nearly-flat face, and a short body, it fits this definition. Animators figured this out a long time ago. There are several guides which can tell you, in scientific detail, how to design a cute character. It's really kind of creepy how well they have this pegged.

Thing is, animation rules don't always translate to real life. Case in point, pugs.




Pugs are wrinkled, little dogs who fall under the "toy" header. Generally speaking, they are small, stocky, "squarish" dogs with wrinkly faces and almost no snout. We're pretty sure pugs came from China; they may go back to 551 BCE if Confucius was indeed describing a pug. Some records say that they've been around even longer.They look a lot like the same "lion" that the Pekingese were pointed towards, only not as furry and not as spoiled by a certain empress dowager. No, they were meant to guard Buddhist monasteries.

The pug is usually summarized thus: multum in parvum, or "a lot in a little." They have a lot of personality for a small dog. They are outgoing, playful, and eager to please. They can, however, be rather stubborn as well, and require a healthy amount of exercise. Personality-wise, they are a good match for most people.

So, what's not cute about that? The combination of facial folds and large, bulging eyes creates an uncanny effect. Also, if you look at clips on YouTube, you hear pugs snorting. Indeed, pugs do have respiratory issues; they also have a million eye problems from the shortened skull and overheat really easily. There are also a few pug-exclusive diseases, including necrotizing meningencephslitis - inflammation of the brain and central nervous system. Cute comes at a price.

Pugs are one of those dogs that I, personally, look at and go, "are these really worth it?" These guys are not as notoriously aggressive as Chihuahuas, but they do come with a laundry list of problems. They sounds like good companion dogs...if you can handle the extra care involved. You mileage may vary on cuteness. Still not too bad for a dog made in China.

"They Actually Eat That"/Who Let The Dogs Out: Hot Dogs and Dachshunds.

You're probably thinking that this entry is some sort of bad joke. I already did an entry on eating dogs, after all. This was just my corny attempt to fit "They Actually Eat That" in with the theme week. I don't need to make many more bad jokes; dachshund owners do it for me.

For those of you who assumed "wiener dog" could not possibly be the right name for a dog breed, the proper title for sausage-like dogs is "dachshund."  The breed could date all the way back to ancient Egypt, but the first confirmed dachshund was recorded in the 1700's. They are now so closely associated with Germany that the 1972 summer Olympics in Germany created a dachshund mascot.

Waldi, the too-colorful dachshund mascot.

The dachshund's shape is deliberate. It was meant to hunt badgers (with the name meaning "badger hound"). That long, narrow, pointy shape fits perfectly into a badger burrow. The front paws even help for digging! There are also some mini-hot dogs bred to hunt rabbits. The pet dachshunds are usually "tweenies," or wiener dogs somewhere in the middle of the two sizes.

Believe it or not, there actually is a relationship between dachshunds and hot dogs. A German concession seller at the polo grounds in New York first called sausages in a bun "Dachshund sandwiches" sometime in the early 1900's. Supposedly, a New York Post cartoonist could not spell "dachshund," so the name "hot dog" stuck instead. That said, hot dogs themselves are mystery meat coated in bacteria that might make you sick if not cooked and cause cancer if consumed too often, so please avoid them whenever possible.

Also avoid putting them on your dog. Seriously, it looks ashamed.

The strange shape of the dachshund is not without its price. There is a spinal disc malfunction so specific to dachshunds that it's dubbed "Dachshund Paralysis" by most people. Dachshunds are lazy in old age, leading to obesity, diabetes, and all those other nice things doctors warn you about. Demeanor-wise, they are also prone to being brave to the point of recklessness, disobedient, and downright aggressive if not properly amused. E.B. White had quite an experience with his own dachshund, Fred, who "even disobeys me when I instruct him in something he wants to do." Not a beginner's dog by any means.

So, next time you see a furry little sausage at the park, bear the following in mind: 1. Dachshunds  were meant to hunt badgers, easily among the meanest furry mammals on the planet; 2. they are almost synonymous with Germany, a place known for meat, beer, and Rammstein; 3. they are aggressive, assertive little buggers who do not know what it means when you are bigger than them. Have fun sticking them in hot dog buns, now.

Theme Week for September: Who Let The Dogs Out?!

 

For those of you who have not been following this blog for very long, I am not a dog person. In fact, I think there are some examples of severe insanity among dog owners in particular.  The video above covers just one of my major bitches (pun intended) with dog people. It's like dogs are Jesus or something. There, I said it; props to the random person on Twitter who put my bile for the dog's seeming Mary Sue-ness in our society into one succinct phrase. It's not that I hate dogs, it's that people get insane concerning dogs.

Now, mind, I know a few people with dogs. Some of them are perfectly nice people. My best friend still talks about her deceased dog Bruno just like Foamy described; that's an issue, but I would call it the tip of the iceberg. No, it's these people I have a real problem with:

In recent years, the dog has become a total commodity. We now have a wealth of products assuring you that your dog can color-coordinate with whatever you happen to be wearing: doggy clothes; doggy birthday cakes; doggy nail polish; doggy hair dye. Dog yoga is also apparently a thing ("doga"). I'm fine with giving dogs treats, but this is disturbing when you think about it. It's overanthropomorphizing to an unhealthy degree. Yes, all pet owners do this on some level, but it borders on madness with dogs. As if to add insult to injury, this is especially prevalent on smaller dogs- dogs that already come with problems.

Mind, the early people got really lucky when they managed to domesticate the first wolf. They happened to find an animal that could not only recognize people as alpha, but had quite a few other behaviors in common as well. It also happened that wolves had an extremely versatile genome (bigger than the human genome by a LOT- 23 chromosome pairs in humans versus 39 pairs in dogs) that allowed for a great variety of breeds to flourish over the centuries.

But where did we get off turning wolves into this?

I swear there is a dog beneath all that fur.

There are some dog breeds that just make me go "why?" I've already done an entry on Chihuahuas, the most "why would you do that?" dog in the entire world,  but there are still so many more dog breeds out there that make my mind reel with WTF. Many of them have already been covered. This is just picking up more freakish scraps. Just because we can mess with the canine genome doesn't mean we should.

Creature Feature: Featherless Chickens.

Going green is a huge deal nowadays. Basically, we've realized that a whole lot of Earth's resources - fossil fuels, fresh water, wood - are finite, especially if we keep using them at the rate we have been. The meat industry happens to be one of the least green industries out there, responsible for as much greenhouse gases as public transportation (if not more). So, if we told you that some scientists had designed a greener, more energy-efficient chicken, you would assume that there was some horrible catch, right?

Umm...does a chicken with a big "fry me" sign written on it due to lack of feathers strike you as a  "horrible catch?"

The "featherless" or "naked" chickens were developed by scientists at the Rehovot Agronomy Institute located near Tel Aviv, Israel in the early 2000's. They are not genetically spliced with something that makes 'em lose their feathers. They have been selectively bred that way without the use of other organisms, so no complaining about Frankenfood. We would nonetheless like to add "zombiebird" to the list of potential names for the rooster above.

This chicken is not only easy to cook, but it is supposedly greener than your average chicken. Supposedly, it grows faster and is more energy efficient. Overheating is a real problem for chickens, especially in hotter climates. Too much heat might even lead to ugly, irregular molting, so the next best idea after turning up the A/C is to breed a chicken that doesn't have feathers to begin with.They are also supposedly low-fat.

Breeding a featherless chicken also saves considerable time and water on the part of farmers. If you have ever skinned, de-scaled, or de-feathered a fresh kill, you know that it is very time-consuming. On large-scale farms, the feathers are washed off, so breeding for no feathers curbs the fresh water issue, too. Sounds almost too good to be true, doesn't it?

There are some cons to having no feathers, obviously. These birds can live in exactly one climate: Hot and dry. Everywhere else, they have problems. No feathers means no protection from cold, parasites, or even the pecking of other chickens. Speaking of other chickens, plumage is also an important part of chicken mating rituals. I don't know what the human equivalent of this would be; it's just plain unattractive to be a featherless chicken.

Can selective breeding for exactly one trait really have that much impact on the farming potential of one animal? Sure. Anything with "Angora" in its name tends to do better in Ankara, Turkey, than anywhere else. Those animals are mainly bred for extremely long hair and are clearly meant for that climate. These chickens are also meant for a specific climate. If we see chicken meat coming in from Israel, we'll know that their zombiebird project was a success.

Freak Week 3.5: Siamese Mice.

As stated in the rabbit entry, there are several easier animals to breed than carnivores. Sometime after we got a handle on the mouse problem, we began breeding them in captivity. It was not a very hard task at all (but still smelly), leading to the blossoming of many a captive mouse breed. The most famous of these, of course, are the albino mice frequently used in lab experiments. (Or are they doing experiments on us?)

Aside from the white mice, mice have as many coat colors as most dog and cat breeds. Besides the usual black, brown, and grey found in most mammals, they come in various piebald patterns, merle, brindle...

Oh, and Siamese.

No, that image is not the Photoshopped wet dream of a fancy mouse enthusiast. It's the "super" form of a "Himalayan" mutation found in mice - basically, much lighter, smaller points. The "Siamese" points are also found in rabbits, rats...and white tigers. 

Regardless of species, Siamese-ness is a weird form of albinism. It is also called "chinchilla albinism." In short, it restricts melanin to the colder areas of the mammal's body. (This has actually been tested by placing cold packs on Siamese kittens.) The result is often red or blue eyes, but in mice, the eyes can be dark as well. Other than that, they look exactly like little Siamese cats!

Most mouse breeds are little more than coat colors with standards to make them look as appealing as possible. There are also several coat traits that breeders like playing with.. Fancy mice in general are bred to be larger than both lab and other pet mice. They nonetheless have show standards that make them a breed, including point darkness and range. The only reason that they aren't as popular as cats and dogs as show animals is, well...they're still mice.

Freak Week 3.5: Angora Rabbits.

In looking over past Freak Weeks, one can see that dog, cat, and cow breeds dominate the pages. This is not because other domesticated animals do not have breeds, but rather because people have bred those animals into a greater number of freaky varieties. That's part of why I am broadening this week's "freakishness" - to give other animals bred in captivity more of a spotlight.

By the way? Bunnies are very good breeders. So are mice. Watch in awe and terror as your expectations of cute are perverted beyond your wildest dreams!

How fluffy do you like your bunnies?

Along with the Angora cat and goat, Angora rabbits (Oryctolagus cuniculus, for those curious) originated in Turkey. They are known for big, fluffy coats that make them look more like Easter bunny plushies than actual rabbits. They are most likely the oldest breed of rabbit in the world. Although they come in a variety of colors, the REW (ruby-eyed white; albino) is the favorite among breeders.

Angora rabbits were the first official breed of rabbit. Turkey had been breeding them for goodness knows how long before sharing them with other countries. They were first popularized by the French in the 1700's. They then proceeded to spread all over Europe, finally hitting the United States in the 1900's. Since then, they have become one of the most popular rabbit breeds around.

When fluffy becomes TOO fluffy.

Angora rabbit fur is so thick and fluffy that it can be woven into wool. They are usually shorn like sheep every three-four months. This excessive wool growth can lead to a condition called "wool block" - a hairball from hell that can form in Angora rabbit digestive tracts. Unlike other popular fur animals, rabbits usually do not produce many allergens. Give Angora rabbit sweaters a try if you happen to be allergic to sheep wool.

Rabbit breeds, including Angoras, have a registry. There are several subbreeds (that's a thing, trust me) and color variations of Angora, so if you like your rabbits fluffy like pom-poms and capable of giving you wool, you have a good variety to choose from. As you can imagine, the most maintenance you will do on this rabbit will involve grooming. It's about time somebody selectively bred bunnies; after all, they breed like rabbits.

Bio-Art: Tara Galanti's Flying Silk Moths.

As I said waaayyy back when in my silkworm entry, silkworms make cattle look good in terms of how well they can survive in the wild. They can't fly, are really, really slow, and do not even eat without human assistance. The most they can do is occasionally interbreed with their wild counterparts. It's a pretty sad life, especially since so many silkworms die young.

Well, except the silkworms in Tera Galanti's "Wings" project.  The silk moths there are capable of flying farther than, say, the moths found in China. They have been deliberately bred to fly instead of produce silk. Although their flight is not monarch butterfly-level inspiring, it is still very cool to see some of the moths retaining wild characteristics after generations of breeding without it.

Tera Galanti originally began breeding silkworms to get over her fear of moths. After a moth distracted her into a traffic accident, she eventually decided to confront her fear in the form of breeding the silk moth- the world's only thoroughly domesticated moth. Even before her project,  she noticed that a few of her moths were capable of fluttering. Flying moths were the next logical step.

The moths were selectively bred by first isolating the cocoons. Then, she made sure that the females were all high up, guaranteeing that only the males who could get that high would make babies. She also put them in cute little setups like this. Feel free to click around there, by the way.

The next step in the project would naturally be releasing the moths outside. Where would such moths go after being unable to fly for so long? Who knows! The question is the same for domestic chickens bred to fly, and, in an extreme case, Heck aurochs. How would nature react to suddenly having these old species back? (Note: The Indian Jungle Fowl is darn close to a chicken, and it's not dead yet.) We don't know, but it would be fun to find out.

Creature Feature: Silkworms.

After all the bashing I do at China's expense, one would think that there was nothing good about the place. It's poor, communist, censors its interwebs, and eats anything that moves. A lot of our stuff comes from China, so maybe we have no right to complain. Tofu is awesome, too.

Also, China invented silk. Since some of us are allergic to wool and nylon took a few centuries to invent, we should be eternally grateful that cute little caterpillars make soft nests for themselves while they metamorphose. Then we're rude enough to interrupt them while they're changing.


(By the way, the worms can also be food.)

Silk is created by a fully captive-bred moth called Bombyx mori, or the domesticated silkmoth. About 5,000 years ago, people in China figured out that the cocoons of certain moths (specifiaclly Bombyx mandarina) could be woven into thread just like sheep wool. After presumably figuring out how moths reproduced, the little bugs were domesticated to hell and back.

Silk has been around in China since at least the 27th century B.C. Legend has it that silk was discovered when a silkworm cocoon dropped into the teacup of Lei Zu, the wife of the Yellow Emperor. After figuring out that the thread could be woven and a larva was making it, the Chinese began cultivating the little worms to be extra-fertile and have soft, plushy cocoons. The Chinese guarded the little maggots well until the 500's A.D. when a Byzantine missionary smuggled a few out. Whoops.



The silkworm is the most genetically altered domesticated animal. Domesticated silkworms make cows look competent. A cow, if turned loose, can still become feral if it is not executed for being a still-living hamburger. These silkworms are so bred down that the adult moths cannot fly. (A certain artist has succeeded in bringing back their wings, but her spot will be after the (book) Dr. Moreau.) The most they can do is breed with their extant relatives into strange hybrid moths. Otherwise, they are entirely dependent on humans for survival.



Besides China, silkworm breeding has also taken wing (ha ha) in South Africa. The silkworms there are hardier than the Chinese silkworms because they are treated as pets. The exposure to different conditions make them welcome additions to the silkworm gene pool, which can be decimated by disease at any given time. There are over 400 strains of silkworms, however, and science is always creating more. There will always be plenty of cocoons for everybody...except the worms, of course.

Freak Week III: Egyptian Mau.

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."-  Unknown. 

 

Most people who like cats know that the Egyptians loved cats. Along with being the first people to 'domesticate' the cat, they had a cat goddess named Bastet. Keenly aware that the cat was still a wild animal, Bastet had a dark side, the lioness Sekhmet. Say what you will about the incest in their pantheon, but they had cats right on the money. 

 

Without getting into hybrid cats, Egyptian Maus are easily the most exotic-looking breed of cat around.  They are the only naturally spotted breed of cat, possessing cheetah-like spots even beneath their fur. They also run like little cheetahs - up to 36 miles per hour, which, for reference, is about as fast as a giraffe. 

Besides a nearly unchanged look compared to ancient Egyptian depictions, the Mau has several genetic and behavioral differences that suggest a wilder ancestry. The Mau distinctly prefers hotter temperatures, much like its native climate. Besides meowing, Maus can also chirp and chortle. Like ancient dog breeds, Maus are very loyal and intelligent, but usually only bond with one or two people. Finally, they are excellent ratters - as well as snake-hunters if the image below is any indication.



Like most breeds of animal, Maus can be put up for show. However, only the bronze, silver,and smoke can be shown (because markings must be visible). The eyes must be green. Black and pewter are still used in breeding. If you want a cheap, but still classy-looking Mau, go for a black one. It will look more like the modern perception of Bast - spotless. 

Freak Week III: Shar-Pei.

Wait. Wait. You said Thursday would have a tough dog, right? That is not a big, mean, tough dog like a Rottweiler or pit bull. That is a giant Beanie Baby made real.

Actually, the Shar-pei is one of the most ancient dog breeds in existence. As the name might suggest,  this breed originated in China, and has a black tongue like the Chow Chow. Shar-pei are known for their baggy skin (especially as puppies), courage, and rarity. This does not mean that there are no puppies waiting to be hugged.




Adorable though those wrinkly puppies may be, they still show the Shar-Pei's fighting lineage when playing. The loose, rough skin of the Shar-pei allows the dog to bite back if the skin is grabbed, giving it an advantage in the dog pits. Fighting Shar-pei was reserved for the upper classes in China; among peasants, the Shar-pei was used as a guard dog, cowherd, and boar hunter. That thick skin has multiple applications!

The Shar-pei's unique skin is a mutant form of the gene coding for hyaluronic acid, a substance found in the skin, connective tissues, and brain matter.  A similar malfunction can occur in humans, also leading to excessive wrinkles. This sounds like the best job ever .

As one might imagine, overbreeding for wrinkles causes considerable problems. The "Western" Shar-pei is known to have its own disease, Familial Shar-Pei fever, due to overbreeding for adult wrinkles. They are also notoriously allergic to any grain-based dog foods, again probably due to that strange skin. It is important to find a good Shar-pei breeder if you wish to acquire one of these strange dogs, so research research research!

"They Actually Eat That:" Truffles.

Forgive my lateness. Had to stay up at campus a little later on Wednesday, but don't worry, I would never miss a chance to show you all some seriously weird food. This is a little bit hard during Breed Week - whoever would admit that certain breeds are good for food? Even if they are, most of them are not remotely weird. (The Belgian Blue is an obvious exception.)

So this is something different and tangentially-related to domesticated animals.

 

Connoiseurs of my blog have probably heard of the fungi called truffles. Besides being a delicious chocolate treat, truffles are a type of fungus usually found near the bases of various trees, particularly oak, beech, hazel, and pine. The European black and white truffles are delicious, but very, very expensive. Chinese truffles are often used as a cheap substitute.

Truffles are not domesticated, per se. They can be farmed (Australia has had the best luck), but are not sufficiently differentiated enough from their wild counterparts to be considered breeds. Truffle fields return to wildness easily, sending the search for easy truffles back to square one. These things are so hard to find that humans need special animals just to discover them, thus explaining the price tag...



...even though piggies can find them no problem.

The classic way to find truffles is to get a healthy sow and take her out for a little walk. Since truffles smell like a horny boar's saliva, the pig's sensitive nose will pick up the scent. Sows can smell the fungi up to three feet underground. We can only imagine that her desire would be doubled if she herself wanted some lovin'. As one might expect, pigs do sometimes eat the truffles. If your Playboys came with a hamburger inside the pages, you probably would, too.

Japan has the right idea.

Of course, pigs are not the only animals with a keen sense of smell. Dogs, specifically the Lagotto Romangolo (Romagna Water Dog) can also be trained to sniff for truffles. The Lagotto breed has been in the business for only 100 years, which is a short time compared to ancient Roman truffle hogs.

You can also tell it's hypoallergenic because of its poodle-ish fur.

For the record, yes, I have actually eaten truffles. If you want to try some good ones, they have truffles in everything in Piazza Navona, a certain square in Rome. They put truffles on pizza, in fettucine, and have a godly gelato called tartufo- no real truffles involved, just using the name. Truffles are delicious, but I personally would not go into any pig sties after eating them!

Freak Week III: Pit Bulls.

Pitting animals against each other has been around since the dawn of man. It probably started when one man said, "dude, let's start placing bets on what ram's gonna butt the other harder" or some such similar wager. Soon this evolved into putting domesticated animals against each other in high-stakes matches. Modern examples include monkey fighting, various types of bug-fighting and cockfighting.

Oh, and dog fighting. Can't forget that.



The American Pit Bull Terrier has become the Western world's poster child for dog fighting. Although the title says "American," the founding stock is from the United Kingdom. The term "pit bull" can technically vary in meaning depending on the area, ranging from the APBT to any dog in the molosser group. For now, we will be discussing only the APBT, which is most easily identified by its bigger-than-average head.

My head's not big!

In its early stages, the pit bull breed was used in bull- and bear-baiting. "Baiting" of these animals consisted of many dogs ganging up on the larger, enraged beast, which was usually tied to a pole just to be sure the dogs would win. After these sports were effectively outlawed, rat baiting and dog fighting became more popular, resulting in the pit bull we see today. Pit bulls have also been historically used for herding and delivering messages in both World Wars, and can be fine, loyal, perfectly gentle family pets.

Pit bulls, even mixes, have a reputation for being vicious. After their popularity as pets declined, their reputation as fighting dogs skyrocketed. This is not entirely unjustified; pit bulls and pit bull mixes take home the dubious award of having the most dog attacks to their name (and this year isn't over!). If pitties scored higher than Golden Retrievers on temperament tests, we sure don't want to get in the way of a Golden.

This does not mean that they are bad dogs. 



 I have met pure pit bulls. They act just like every other puppy as puppies. Even the adult pits I have met were not bad dogs. As per Wikipedia, fighting dogs are bred to be gentle around humans, but vicious towards other animals - emphasis on "gentle around humans."  This more or less coincides with my own experiences with pits and pit mixes.

Alas, it's not that simple. Pit bulls were bred to fight, and, although it is fine if you do not raise yours to fight, realize that some people buy pit bulls because they were bred to fight.  For example: The one pit bull I did see with a full butcher shop was owned by a guy sporting tattoos and piercings. I am not saying that he was a professional dog fighter or anything, but he certainly wanted to look tough. (I have also heard that some people refuse to neuter their pets because it feels like they are castrating themselves.) The owners of (pure) pit bulls may well be looking for tough dogs, whether they intend to fight them or not.

Go ahead. TRY and ban this face!

 

This coincides with "there are no bad dogs, only bad owners." Pit bulls used to be perfectly fine to keep as pets, but after their popularity declined, they became seen as fighters more than lovers. The reputation that pit bulls currently have is enough to make one worry around them - especially if one sees a pitty with his junk still in tact (there are a number of rather unsavory explanations for that). It's not that the dogs themselves are bad, but one must wonder what the owners intend for them.

Banning will not stop anything that supposedly comes with pit bulls. There will always be blood sports, no matter what legislation you make. There will always be people using their dogs to prove that they, as people, are superior. Even if pit bulls were banned, chances are that things like Rottweilers would become their replacement as a "tough dog" with aaaalllll the strings attached.  

Well, Rottweilers...or Thursday's furry freak.

Creature Feature: Kuro's Worst Enemy.

This entry was supposed to be in the next Freak Week. After reading my latest issue of Reptiles, however, I was reminded (by tangential thoughts, not the magazine itself) that perhaps my greatest, fiercest arch-enemy yet should get his own entry sooner rather than later.

No, this is not about the brown recluse spider again. This is about a far, far more intimidating foe...




...the Chihuahua.

For those of you not exposed at all to Western culture, Chihuahuas are the world's smallest breed of dog. The origins of the Chihuahua are blurry, with most believing that they came from Mexico, but several more ancient sources cite very similar dogs from the Mediterranean. The original Chihuahuas were probably larger than the pint-sized pooches in purses seen today. They also probably looked a little less like rats.

No, I am not picking on the Chihuahua because of its looks. I do see the appeal in small dogs. Chihuahuas are particularly strange looking small dogs to the point where I have seen numerous descriptions of them as "mutant rats." I have, however, met some longhair Chihuahuas that barely look like Chihuahuas, so looks are not a factor in my labeling them as my greatest nemesis.

Look! It still has some dignity left!

 

The Chihuahua breed should not exist. Toy breeds in general have defects, usually hip dysplasia, that make them suffer plenty alongside the treatment that comes from being a small dog (more on that later). Chihuahuas have a laundry list of disorders, including low blood sugar (i.e. born diabetic), collapsed trachea, chronic bronchitis, obesity (largely due to eating people food), hydrocephaly, numerous dental issues, and, unique to Chihuahuas, being born with an incomplete skull. If the defective individuals were culled in Chihuahuas like they would be in most breeds, the breed would go extinct. They should have been Darwinized out of the system ages ago. 

Oh, but things eating the poor, precious Chihuahuas tends to upset people. This sucks when it happens with a wild animal, but when (as an example) your neighbor has a Burmese python and your Chihuahua goes missing, who is the most likely suspect? Sure, it could have been a coyote or a car, but the person with the Burmese python is the bigger, easier target. People worry like crazy for 1. kids and 2. thoroughly domesticated pets whenever someone has a decently-sized exotic animal. Since cats often have their wits about them (and/or claws), small dogs are usually the first target for such predators. Nature is trying to get rid of this monstrosity in any way she can, but exotic pet owners are the first target if a Chihuahua goes missing. If you own any pet aside from a cat or dog, beware the Chihuahuas.

This is a fennec fox - another naturally-small mammal. Go get one instead of a Chihuahua.

Moreover, Chihuahuas are almost exotic pets themselves. Some vets refuse to work on Chihuahuas  because they come with so many defects. They have problems with birthing due to their small size. The veterinary costs alone explain the price tag of the breed, although belonging to high-class bitches contributes as well. When you buy a purebred, you buy a status symbol and an alternate form of self expression. A Chihuahua (especially the shorthair) says that either A) you are from Mexico, or B) you want to be classier than you actually are. Enjoy the guilt trip that comes from not buying a dog with a much milder temperament and fewer health problems. Also enjoy the people who have ferrets, naturally small carnivorids, instead of Chihuahuas.

Chihuahuas should be bred with good temperaments - emphasis on should. They have a more or less justified reputation for being yappy little dogs because either the parents were not selected for docility or the human messed the dog up. It is way too easy for a human to screw up a Chihuahua (or any other small dog) by over-anthropomorphizing it, thereby allowing the dog to express dominant behaviors. The result of this is called Small Dog Syndrome; long story short, the Chihuahua becomes the alpha dog.

EXACTLY like this.

It only gets worse from there. The standard weight for a Chihuahua is 6-8 pounds - that's less than most cats. Breeders may try to sell off their runts as "teacup" Chihuahuas, ultimately leading to smaller and smaller dogs. I do see the appeal of small dogs, but Chihuahuas are small to the point where it is hurting the animal to an insane degree.

Also, comments like this tell us that, just maybe, we should be working on making Chihuahuas illegal before pitbulls:

"chihuahuas aren't dogs. they are fucking science experiments gone wrong. i fucking hate em. they have a piercing bark, they're always hyper active, they can never chill the fuck out, they're always shaking like little bitches, and they are brainless. the next one i see i'm going to grab and fucking punt off the side of a building."

In other words, "Kill it with fire." 

Freak Week II: Racehorses.

Oh, scratch that bit about horses having absolutely nothing weird. One of the types of horses that everybody knows about certainly merits a place in Freak Week II.

 

Yes, those are racehorses. Yes, they are stranger than they look.

Horse racing itself has similar origins as car racing: day-to-day encounters with fellow charioteers naturally resulted in competition between riders, and somebody, somewhere decided to capitalize on the riders' competitive spirits. Nothing wrong with that, although we are sure many would admit that seeing horses run is far more fun than watching cars drive.

No, the horses running is not weird. The horses themselves are.

Most of the horses in racing today are part of a breed called Thoroughbreds. They are a cross between two different types of Arabian (Darley and Gondolphin), Byeley Turk, and English racing horses.  They can come in many coat colors and are bred for a competitive temperament, speed, and agility. Again, no surprises there.



All Thoroughbred horses derive from one of three sires: Herod, Matchem, or Eclipse. Eclipse, a Darley Arabian, was never defeated, and hooo boy did he get immortalized in racing history. 95% of the male horses in racing today are directly related to Eclipse. Think about that for a bit: 9.5 out of ten horses at the track share the same dad, granddad, or great granddad. Creeeeepy.


Hey, bro. Or are you my second cousin?

I'll let Wikipedia tell you exactly why this is terrifying if the idea of you and your running partner sharing the same dad did not cement it in for you:

"According to one study, 78% of alleles in the current population can be traced to 30 foundation animals, 27 of which are male. Ten foundation mares account for 72% of maternal (tail-female) lineages, and, as noted above, one stallion appears in 95% of tail male lineages.<sup>[28]" 


In other words, these horses are inbred to the degree that it makes purebred dogs look like they're not even cousins. Thoroughbreds are at risk of dying out due to lack of genetic diversity. It is not legit to register Thoroughbreds that have not been seen gettin' it on. No artificial insemination. No embryo transplants. All inbreeding for damn fast horses.</sup>

Freak Week II: Ankole-Watusi Cattle.

"Cows are my frieeends" - GIR, Invader Zim.

Before they were lard-laden milk and meat creatures, cows were considered awesome animals. If one had a cow in ancient Greece, it was a status symbol. A cow is a lot bigger than you think it is. More people are killed by pissing off cows than by pissing off sharks. Again, one wonders whose bright idea it was to steal milk from an animal that could easily run one over.

One is forced to wonder that once more upon seeing how badass some cattle look.

 

Those giant horns belong to Ankole-Watusi cattle, a breed native to southern Africa. They can deal with almost any sort of climate and sparse resources, making them popular around the world. Plus, those horns look awesome.

Ankole-Watusi cattle were bred for gigantic horns. These not only have a practical use - honestly, a lion would probably run from horns that spread 8 feet from tip to tip - but also look beyond badass. The horns also help the cow maintain body heat in its native habitat.

 

In Africa, these cows were usually kept by royalty, and are still rarely slaughtered for meat. Live animals were more valuable than dead ones in ancient times. We cannot really blame them for treating cows with such magnificent adaptations as special; their horns and hardiness in the harsh African climate cement their status as the "cattle of kings."

Ankole-Watusi cattle were originally imported as zoo animals. Their zebu lineage and massive horns made them eye candy until the 1930's. Afterward, the cattle made it into private collections. Today most zoos would not dare show off a breed of a domesticated animal; apparently, they just aren't wild enough anymore! (Again, we must gun for a "zoo of freaks.")

That is one horny bull...

As one may have guessed, Ankole-Watusi cattle are primarily ornamental. They do, however, have lean meat and milk rich in butterfat. Some breeders choose to emphasize these commercial aspects; others amplify the exotic look. Take your pick as to which you would choose, but in either case, holy cow!

Tomorrow: Tiptoe through the tulips...