Creature Feature: Giraffe Weevil.

Insects are automatically nightmare fuel when it comes to creature design. With the possible exception of butterflies, there is no insect on the planet that cannot be made into an object of terror. Even harmless, annoying things can be magnified into monsters. Weevils, which are already terrifying if seen up close, reach the peak of their horror monster potential in this fellow:

This bug-meets-Apatosaurus creature is called a giraffe weevil (Trachelophorus giraffa) . It is native only to Madagascar, second only to Australia for the title of "World's Weirdest Island." They are herbivorous like all weevils, partial to seeds and fruit. New Zealand also has a "giraffe weevil," so just to be clear, this one is from the island with happy lemurs.

The giraffe weevil cannot help but stand out. That long neck on the males is 2-3 times the length of the females. It is almost an inch log - not the record for weevils, but still quite big for one. It has a striking, red and black palette. No, it is not poisonous as far as my sources know. Seeing a giraffe weevil in the wild must be amazing. The bright  color and long neck both make it unforgettable.



This long neck is for one very important purpose: Mating. Specifically, male giraffe weevils fight each other with their long necks. The females have much shorter necks, and referee the neck-fights between the two males. The winner gets laid. Fair enough.

This is not to say that the ladies of the species are not at all interesting. Unusually for insects, the female lays exactly one egg after mating. She then encases it in a tube cut from a leaf. The leaf is then cut such that two edges mesh together-  effectively, primitive Velcro. The leaf nest then drops to the forest floor, where the weevil will hatch, grow, and repeat the process.  Giraffe weevils: males look freaky, females invented Velcro before people.

Bio-Art: The Life of Pi.

It's always hard to pin books down as bio-art. It is even harder to pin them down if they are considered "fantasy." Nonetheless, there are several reasons that Life of Pi by Yann Martel is enjoying this column alongside Jurassic Park and Fragment. Whoever said literature could be excluded from the definition of bio-art? Science fiction usually pre-dates science fact. Truth can indeed be stranger than fiction. If Life of Pi is fantasy, it's hard fantasy- fantasy so close to something that could actually happen that comparing it to regular fantasy is like comparing wine to grape juice. In any case, Life of Pi deserves a mention on this blog, if not this column.

As the title would imply, the book's primary narrator is a young man who goes by Pi - as in, the irrational number. (The book goes into detail as to why he picked that name for himself.) Through a series of mishaps, Pi winds up with an unlikely bunch of friends: a zebra, a hyena, an orangtuan, and, most prominently, a male Bengal tiger named Richard Parker. The zebra, orangutan, and eventually hyena all get eaten (with the hyena doing most of the damage).

So, how does Life of Pi make my bio-art column? It's not that the author takes detailed scientific notes on sloths - rather, reading it reminded me a lot of Inside of A Dog. Beneath the tale of a boy trapped on a boat with a tiger is a truckload of animal psychology and, as the critics put it, "a passionate defense of zoos." Honorable mention goes to the island of meerkats and carnivorous algae.

One of the first things the book goes into is animal training. While one could debate whether or not all animals are indeed social animals (and it is a big debate) the author is completely right that omegas of any given animal group are the most malleable. They are also right that a trainer must put him/herself into the animal's world, startling it with loud noises and showing confident, dominant behaviors. Animals can literally smell fear and weakness. Pi used this advice admirably when faced with a tiger as his only companion. Psychology saved him from becoming tiger chow. (I am not sure if the movie gets into detail about these aspects of the book.)



The defense of zoos is outstanding as well. The author cites, for example, numerous instances of zoo animals escaping, then returning to their cages. He compares zoos to 5-star hotels for animals. Zoo animals do indeed have consistent food and water; anyone who has ever owned any pet will tell you that they know what time dinner is. It is easy to tell when an animal is not pleased with its habitat. Again, umwelt in action.

Fiction though it may be, Life of Pi was a very well-researched work.  It is so well-researched that an event towards the end makes one question whether the story was true or false. When Pi is asked to tell somebody his story without including animals, his tale changes to one of cannibalism and mental scarring. The people listening to that story instantly say that they prefer the one with animals - as if humans doing those things would be too gruesome to comprehend. Read it, and make up your mind for yourself.

P.S. - I will make another entry on Primeval: A New World once I have finished with it.

Freak Week IV: White Laboratory Rats.

Sometimes, domesticated animals become so normalized that we forget they're effectively freaks. Dogs are a good example; they can deliver quite a nasty bite and are noisy at night. This is not the case with lab rats. Despite Ratatouille's best intentions, there are still more people who freak out around rats than around dogs.

Before you go "aren't rats exotic?", no, these laboratory rats are most definitely domesticated. They are calmer, have smaller organs, and produce more offspring than their wild counterparts. Despite being able to breed with wild rats, these rats are derived from Victorian fancy rats. Fancy rats have been domesticated since he Victorian era, and even if they hadn't been, someone would have eventually made pet rats simply because of their intelligence and proximity to humans.

Onto albino lab rats - the typical white rats seen in science labs. Rats have been used as test subjects for centuries. The first test done on rats was in 1828. Soon, rats became the first animals deliberately bred for scientific research. They have since been used to test...almost anything that could possibly happen in a human body. Really.

Depending on what factor is being tested, a different white rat may be better than another. The different strains of albino rat are meant to be as genetically identical as rodent-ly possible.  That said, the whole genome of Rattus norvegicus has been very easy to sequence because of this extensive captive breeding.

There are several strains of albino rat used in scientific research. The most common is the Wistar rat, which dates back as far as 1906. It was the original lab rat strain and is still commonly used today. The tail of a Wistar is always shorter than the body, and the head and ears are longer than average. This is the generic "test rat," although there are more genetically-stable, outbred strains that don't have a fancy name.

That said, there are other kinds of lab rats aside from the standard albino varieties. Some are bred to get diabetes. Others have tumors bred into them. A variety of "fuzzy" rat gets kidney failure after one year of life. There is even one strain of rat that is bred to be morbidly obese, just so that people can test diet products on them. The list goes on, and all of them merit an inclusion in Freak Weeks. All of them.

Freak Week IV: GloFish Return!

A while back, I did an entry on GloFish. These little glowing zebrafish have been in Petco for quite a while now, looking unnaturally beautiful in a section already loaded with alien-looking animals. As I spend a decent amount of time there, I began to notice new GloFish. They were, and presumably are, very popular. Why wouldn't they be?

For those of you completely unfamiliar with GloFish, GloFish (TM) are fish spliced with the fluorescent gene from various cnidarians- jellyfish, sea anemones, etc. This gene glows under blacklight - not really "glow in the dark," per se, but close enough. They were originally developed to track certain genes in zebrafish throughout the fish's life cycle. They have caught on in pet stores as well.

Originally, GloFish only came in three colors: reddish pink, neon orange, and electric green. Since then, GloFish have added ("cosmic") blue and ("galactic") purple to their crayon box. These aren't as impressive as the hotter side of the spectrum, but still quite cool. I look forward to seeing what they do next.

Image from GloFish.com.

Much to my relief, GloFish has also added tetras to its glowing aquarium.  I have heard some debate over exactly what kind of tetras these are; I've heard "white skirt" (Gymnocorymbus ternetzi) and am going with this. Like danios, these are freshwater fish, so don't worry too much about salinity. Angelfish are supposedly next, but glowing koi would be amazing (and raccoon food). Currently, the tetras only come in Electric Green.

Recently, there has also been some concern about releasing GloFish into a natural environment.  (I will not get into "domesticated" VS "wild" here- it's all very hazy and subjective.) They could be harmful if released, just like any other invasive species. Several countries have banned GloFish for the simple reason that they are genetically engineered. Personally? A bright red danio would probably not stand a chance in the wild. Still your call on whether to take them into your house or not.

Freak Week IV: Rhodesian Ridgeback.

For whatever reason, cops have been killing a lot of puppies, lately. There have been way too many instances of cops shooting family dogs, so yes, the government does kill puppies. This one happened right near where I live...and features a breed that I had not even heard about until this incident: The Rhodesian Ridgeback.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are one of those "what else would you call it?" dogs. From Rhodesia in Zimbabwe, these strange dogs have been around since the 16th and 17th centuries (when the Cape Colony was being settled). The official standard dates back to 1922.  They are intelligent, mischievous, active dogs that require stimulation, but can be great pets so long as they are handled well.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks get their name for one very obvious trait: a ridge of hair on their spines that grows in the opposite direction from the rest of the hairs on its body. The original Ridgeback from Zimbabwe, as well as the Thai Ridgeback (one of the oldest dog breeds), also have this strange development. It looks like mostly an aesthetic thing that helps cement the breed as opposed to something useful.

PUPPIES! - Source.

Rhodesian Ridgebacks are all-around awesome dogs. They're hunters, retrievers, and great family pets. They're actually called "lion dogs" because they can hunt lions once unleashed in a pack. That said, this dog needs a lot of exercise, and has endurance that would make a marathon runner keel over. They do have issues with hip dyplasia and cancer, so even being a badass otherwise doesn't make them problem-free.

Another downside: Ridgebacks can play a little rough. If you don't assert your dominance, then they can get destructive. Is that any reason to shoot one? No. There is no way for this dog to be confused for a coyote or whatever. Some officer just up and shot a family pet. This is not cool....but on the bright side, it inspired a blog entry. My condolences; that sounded like a great dog.

They Actually Eat That: Angus Beef.

Everybody these days is advertising Angus beef. People actually care about what they eat now; putting a breed name in front of beef implies a higher standard to the audience's unwitting minds. Does it really, though? If so, why does every fast food chain on the planet suddenly stock it?  Never fear, "They Actually Eat That" is here to put your thoughts to rest!

First of all, what is Angus beef? Angus beef is any meat that comes from Angus cattle, polled (hornless) Scottish cattle. They have been in the U.S. since 1873 at least, when a farmer named George Grant began breeding the British cattle in Kansas. They were bred for and marketed as the ideal beef cow. They rarely let people down by that standard, if you know what kind of Angus meat to get.

Here's the kicker: A cow must be at least 51% black to be considered an Angus. That's it when it comes to labeling something as "Angus." It doesn't even have to technically be an Angus, just a dark cow. Angus are known for their black color, so there's a chance that there's some Angus in a mostly-black cow, but exactly what else is in there is up for debate. Government hoodwinking strikes again!

Real Angus beef is known for its marbling. For those of us who aren't professional chefs, this means that there are strings of fat on the muscle. Although this sounds gross, it helps keep the steak a tiny bit moist when cooking.  If you get meat from something like a Belgian blue, for example, there's no fat there - it just heats up instantly. It does matter where you get your steak from; it stops mattering so much when that meat is stuffed into a sausage lining or made into a patty.

Angus cattle may be known for their meat, but does that mean all Angus meat is good? No! There is such a thing as low-quality Angus beef. All it means is that the meat comes from standard beef cows instead of cows that we don't know the lineage of. In other words, Angus is a buzzword. They're just finally telling consumers that their beef comes from this type of cow as opposed to discarded Holsteins. The Angus burgers and hot dogs floating around could well be made from the discarded bits that weren't prime steak.

Those of you wanting good Angus beef should look for two things: certification and grade.  Certified Angus is exactly what it says: beef that comes from cows that are most definitely Angus cattle. Grade applies to all beef - even Angus. The Angus used in fast food burgers is either the not-Angus beef or Angus beef barely fit for human consumption. Be a smart consumer. It scares the machine.

Freak Week 4: Giant Bunnies.

There was once a little horror story called Year of the Angry Rabbit. It was a flop for one very obvious reason: the monsters featured therein were giant rabbits. That is just about the least terrifying concept ever...even if you happen to see it in real life:

A while back, this photo was posted on Snopes. The New York Post article it was from accurately called Herman a German Giant rabbit. Could German scientists really be breeding giant rabbits, possibly to create the most cuddly-wuddly army ever? Yeah, no. The rabbit, however, is a very real giant bunny, bred mostly for fur. Lots and lots of fur.

There are several breeds of giant rabbit. The most famous, in part thanks to the internet, are the Flemish and German giants. They are common knowledge to rabbit breeders, and have been around since the 16th century at least. They can even occur as freak accidents in regular rabbit breeds.  Anyone who knows bunnies knows about these guys.

D'AWWWW!

As with all giant versions of things, one must ask "how giant is giant?" For rabbits, "giant" is an 18-pound furball. A giant rabbit can get over a meter from twitchy nose to fluffy tail, all the while making onlookers d'aww. Beware: they also eat a lot more than the average bunny. No reports of killer giant rabbits yet, thankfully.

The current record book holder isn't even a giant breed. Humphrey is a French lop, but he's gotten over 3 feet (roughly a meter) long. The Continental Giant Amy is currently larger and heavier, but there is a good chance Humphrey will catch up. Giant bunnies are real, but whether they will become truly monstrous remains to be seen. That would take a lot more selective breeding, for sure.